Why love leaves and how to get it back
Most lovers want to believe that their relationship will last a long time, and perhaps a lifetime, even if they have gone through a breakup. Unfortunately, there is often a rapid weakening of feelings, and former lovers are left with a broken heart, bewildered and with the eternal question: why does love end?
Contents of the article:
Psychologists and family therapists have compiled a small list of reasons why both early relationships and very strong ones can be destroyed.
If he loves, he will be the way I want.
Some people, when communicating with their loved ones, notice moments of hostility or discomfort. This could include nurturing space, using harsh language or swearing, or being overly emotional or cold in reacting to events. Instead of accepting this fact, immediately agreeing to change behavior, or ending the relationship, the lover decides to rehabilitate himself in the future.
Of course, there are undoubtedly bad habits, such as smoking or addiction to fast food, the cessation of which can adversely affect your health. Therefore, a reasonable person will most likely want to live next to a loved one for as many years as possible, gradually changing and becoming healthier. A loved one only needs support and understanding.
However, relationships can quickly reach a dead end if the stimulation is caused by personality traits that are impossible or pointless to change. For example, it is almost impossible to change your laugh, the tone of your voice, or your emotions.
At first there is discomfort, you have to restrain yourself, then the stimulation inevitably intensifies, and the love goes away. The most common example of such a mistake is when a woman falls in love with a man who is the tag and life of the party.
She likes his expressiveness, his large circle of friends and the constant fuss around him. He is always ready to help strangers, friends, even acquaintances, constantly spends day and night in his apartment and is full of ideas on how to have fun. When the same character does not change anything, she gradually begins to get tired and demand a “normal” life. She begins to attract attention to herself and is annoyed by the stranger in the apartment and her husband.
Having set the terms, she demands that they choose between her and her friend. Perhaps a man chooses her and turns into a wood grouse, a gambling addict or a bore who sits at home. But on that fine morning, when the woman packs her things and leaves, it is because next to her is not the one with whom she fell in love.
Read also: Where does love go? Don”t rush, stay a little longer!
They say that their love has been alive for three years. They look rugged and very beautiful. This is true? From a scientific point of view, this is unlikely, but this does not interfere.
When a relationship starts with a lie
When meeting someone they love for the first time, many people want to look better than they really are. Outwardly, this is expressed in the desire to dress more beautifully, to isolate oneself and dress simply. Sometimes a whole image is created, but it has little in common with the real person.
Men are made to appear stronger, richer and more active. Women prefer to wear masks that are modest, economical and calm. However, it is impossible to constantly hide your real character. In moments of emotional stress or fatigue, real habits and character traits begin to explode. These changes can shock the image lover, making him feel deceived or betrayed.
The person creating the image may also sooner or later feel tired because he has to constantly try to suppress himself. He begins to withdraw and feels emotionally drained.
Where does love go and how to get it back
When you”re bored to the point of nausea
Why are relationships boring? Few people can live with constant holiday situations. Emotional tension is exhausting, and sooner or later you will want peace. However, most often relationships are destroyed due to boredom and tediousness. Initial vivid emotions, novelty of impressions, strong sensations lose their sharpness. They get used to the person, and everything becomes familiar and ordinary. The ship of love crashes into everyday life and plunges into the quagmire of routine.
If you quarrel, then until the last drop of blood
Everyone knows what to say — the dear ones scold, they are just amusing themselves. She hides a frivolous attitude towards the scandal, which justifies the scandal. But even more harmful is the myth that truly loving people never fight and that a common language can always be easily found. The truth, as always, lies in the middle.
All people, even the closest and dearest, sometimes do not understand each other. Simply because people are different and sometimes do not understand each other. When such misunderstandings develop into heated arguments that develop into constant scandals, irritation and even hatred, love can die.
So, as the name suggests, there are plenty of reasons to love. To save enough:
- Be honest with yourself and your loved one.
- Learn to accept a person as he is. And change only what really harms your health.
- Work on self-development to remain an interesting person.
- Learn to compromise.
