Why they go to their mistresses: mistakes women make in relationships
If a man leaves, it doesn”t mean he doesn”t love you anymore. He may have his own problems and this is how he tries to solve them. Why do you go to your mistress? It”s never too late to find the answer to this question. There is nothing more complicated in this world than the relationship between a man and a woman.
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When a man leaves, he is uncomfortable in the relationship, he is not loved and underestimated — everything is clear. But marriages in which the wife loves, understands, cleans and serves can also fail. Why do men decide to leave their partners? Why doesn”t he often feel guilty about this? Everything is explained by his complex psychology. It is generally accepted that women are complex and incomprehensible, while men”s nature is very simple. This is absolutely not true. On the one hand, men need love and a stable relationship, but on the other hand, they feel confident leaving.
Another woman
Often the main reason for men leaving their wives and families seems to be another woman. It seems that just by becoming younger, sexier, or less demanding, a radical shift occurs in your life and long-term relationships stay on track. However, according to many psychologists, another woman is not the decisive reason why a man breaks up with his partner. Most of the time, he was already thinking about leaving because he was dissatisfied with the relationship. For them, a new woman is simply a lifeline that allows him to break out of the monotony of everyday life.
Why look for a mistress? Yes, living together is not easy. These are constant conflicts, problems and discontent. And the male ego is unlikely to withstand criticism. The more demanding and dissatisfied the wife, the less satisfaction and joy there is in the man”s life, and the greater the frustration and desire to run away.
A woman dissatisfied with her relationship will speak openly about it—causing scandals, arguing, trying to change her partner, and demanding change. A man in this situation hides his feelings for a long time and only after some time begins to truly analyze the situation. Thus, he withdraws first emotionally, then physically. A new woman gives him what he didn”t get from his partner—emotional recognition and passion.
So, over the years, almost all relationships become routine, and sex becomes less exciting—romantic relationships offer an opportunity to escape the mundane and experience something special, spontaneous, and new. Often, however, a man doesn”t love the woman he leaves. He only likes the thought of her. He begins to live in the illusion that he has finally found the perfect person who understands all his needs.
This is precisely the heroine of her dreams, who finds it much easier to give up her feelings than the flesh-and-blood woman living next to her. Furthermore, men derive immense pleasure from the search for a new lover. This is both a challenge and a contradiction. He can do a lot to achieve his goal—give up his own needs and forget about his preferences. However, once he achieves it, he begins to feel trapped.
Internal conflict
Every relationship is a compromise, a restriction, a rule, a norm that takes into account the needs of the other person and meets their expectations. Men don”t like this very much. They often feel as if they are constantly in contact with women, losing their independence and failing to find their true nature. Sometimes they feel as if their lives are wrong.
Men cannot tolerate dependence on their partners. They believe it will lead to a loss of masculinity. They cannot give up their freedom and leave because they want to be themselves. Often, their escape has nothing to do with quality of life. Unfortunately, no matter how well a person feels in a relationship, there almost always arises a need for change and a moment of discovery.
Why do they go to their lovers while posing for women, I solved the problem. Usually a man runs away from a particular woman out of a sense of duty, gray reality or dissatisfaction. Often he doesn”t even understand what he”s looking for. He doesn”t understand that he doesn”t really need another woman, he needs another life. Perhaps he could satisfy his needs and desires and improve his current relationship instead of leaving his partner. However, as a rule, it is easy for men to say “it’s over.”
Midlife crisis
They leave their partner to both 20-year-olds — old people, and 30-year-olds, but usually he is 40 years old. Men of this age are going through a particularly difficult period. He understands that time passes inexorably and that youth, energy and life itself are not eternal. Now is the time to realize your dreams. Time to think about your life, find its purpose and meaning. If not now, then when?
Thus, the need for dissatisfaction is revived. He wants to develop and realize his desires, make up for lost years and gain new experience. If the relationship does not bring him complete satisfaction, his tolerance decreases, and the marriage suffers from him more and more.
During a midlife crisis, a man reaches the so-called saturation point. He feels that he can no longer tolerate difficult situations. Thinking that his life is rapidly melting away, the man mentally gives up. His prospect becomes unbearable and he has no choice but to leave.
Read also: Mistakes of men and women in relationships that everyone makes
Finding a man who is ready to build a long-term relationship is not so difficult, but it is difficult to keep a man and avoid fatal mistakes in relationships that.
Many people, without thinking, decide to break up with their partners. They want to be free from restrictions, and their wife and family seem to be the biggest obstacles in life. Therefore, a man leaves his family, takes on the burden of debt and begins to look for lost time. A decrease in sexual activity causes an attractive need to test one”s masculinity, hence the relationship with a young and attractive lover.
Often such a person does not want to see how much he offended his relative-parent. He does not allow himself to think that he is destroying his family. If he succeeds in satisfying his repressed needs, he will find hundreds of explanations to avoid feelings of guilt.
A midlife crisis is a time of dangerous decisions, and not just for men. New partners are really meant to test a man”s strength, and often these are not women who can start life from the very beginning.
Escape from the relationship model
Living with a mistress is not always a good decision. Once everyday reality begins, the new happiness ends very quickly. Some men awaken from sleep after one to two years. They claim that they have fallen into another marriage and are starting to miss their old wife and family. In many cases, unfortunately, it is too late to save the old relationship.
Men run from women, but they run from a relationship pattern that cannot change. Instead of women, relationships become a prison for men. He is enslaved by internal locks and restrictions. He feels depressed, used, enslaved, criticized and unappreciated.
Liberated women and free men are examples of modern culture. Be heard everywhere — do not limit yourself, enjoy life. Difficulties in relationships increasingly affect people living in conditions of strong internal conflicts.
On the one hand, life is full of images of freedom, so many opportunities, so many adventures for people to enjoy. On the other hand, it has become fashionable to be with someone for a long time. However, it”s not easy, so when men break up and move on, they blame their partners. It”s a rationalization, and if it makes them feel bad, they don”t feel guilty.
All men need is love
4 mistakes in relationships that 90% of women make.
The relationship between the two is like fireworks in the sky, with a lot of noise and smoke. It seems like a colorful sight, but it quickly passes. This is something different than the stars in the sky at any time. A sense of security and trust cannot develop if there are many changes in the relationship with a regular partner. In a strong relationship, partners get to know each other more deeply and recognize their strengths and weaknesses. There may be disputes, contradictions and crises, but this makes them grow and become stronger and stronger.
However, if you give up on the relationship, the potential for growth disappears. The price of freedom can be very high. Many men regret it after a while. This is a prisoner who seems to have no way out.
Communication is very important
Unfortunately, men and women do not communicate with each other properly. We must understand that the way we speak to each other is critical. There are principles of good communication that protect against escalation of anger, aggression and sadness. When a person feels attacked, their knee-jerk reaction—to defend, fight back, or leave—is to simply run away. Incredibly, this is also a signal for the person to walk away from the relationship.
Men are more focused on their behavior than women. That is, they show their emotions differently. Men appreciate it when women tell them how much they love, admire and admire them, how witty and wonderful they are.
While women typically require a strong psychological connection, men often express their feelings through physical intimacy or sex. If a wife does not want to get closer, men interpret this as “she rejects me as a person.” Using sex as a bargaining chip is emotional blackmail that can keep him at a distance. Negotiations play an important role. If you don”t have sex often, your partner will think that you don”t love them as much as you used to, and your feelings will fade in return.
We can all change. However, it is better to focus on your own selfishness than to try to change your partner”s behavior. Unfortunately, some women perceive marriage as the starting point for “marital change.” When a man realizes that home and family are no longer his fortress, he ceases to feel like a real man and seems to be in the middle of a field of nothingness where he cannot exist. When a woman gets rid of some of her qualities and habits for a certain fee, it is, of course, easier for men to leave.
Research confirms that one of the main reasons for misunderstandings in marriage is money. Household management patterns are critical to maintaining healthy relationships. If a woman books a flight or buys a dishwasher, a man should know about it. The same applies to the decision to spend the weekend together. Planning together is a lot of fun.
No obligation
Men are visual by nature and perceive the world primarily through their eyes. It”s no surprise that heterosexual men are invariably drawn to a beautiful woman. If his wife can”t accept this, the man will be offended and forced to defend himself and explain himself, but appearance alone shouldn”t be such a concern. Various comments, ambiguous behavior, and displays of interest in another woman—these can be signs of a lack of commitment.
Naturally, mothers raise their children differently than fathers, but ultimately, this isn”t always a good thing. According to some studies, regular and sometimes chaotic playtime with a father brings many benefits to children. However, the impact on a man”s pride increases if the children aren”t raised properly or if the mother isn”t competent in parenting. If a woman doesn”t trust her husband as a father, this sends a message to him that he”s making mistakes in the relationship and that he alone is right. Men should be encouraged to care for their children, as the father”s role in raising children is indispensable. Research has shown that hard work and forgiveness contribute significantly to a satisfying marriage. However, empty words and promises must be heeded. During a conflict, a simple “I”m sorry” is not enough. To gain forgiveness, a wife must understand what she did wrong and why she upset her husband so much. She must admit her mistake, accept the consequences of her decision, and ask him what she can do to make him forgive her. The magic words “I love you,” “I”m sorry,” and “thank you” are an integral part of any relationship.
Why do you keep an affair? Because men need love. Therefore, when he feels accepted, appreciated, and loved, he will not leave his partner. It is very important to him to have a successful sex life and to be himself in the relationship. This way, you can move mountains.
Mistakes women make in communication with men. Mistakes that destroy you.
