12 qualities you need to develop to achieve orgasm
In pornography, in this case, everything is much simpler — sex ends with a “happy ending”. However, in practice, the task of “reaching orgasm” may seem truly impossible. What should you do?
Contents of the article:
What you need to achieve orgasm
Does sex give you a lot of pleasant sensations, but you often fail to achieve orgasm? Well, now you can start working on yourself using the following qualities.
To be more precise, openness to new experiences, new sensations and frank dialogue with your partner about what you don’t like. How will you understand what brings you joy if you stubbornly reject your partner’s suggestions and refuse new techniques and poses?
If you and your partner are afraid/embarrassed/uncomfortable sharing your feelings and emotions, how do you connect with each other?
First of all, yourself, your sexuality, your desires and your body as a source of pleasure.
I have been working with clients for 32 years as a psychologist and sexologist. “Sexual self-discovery and self-acceptance is one of the most common challenges people face,” says Dr. Laurie Bisbee.
Bisbee says most of her clients are unable to give a clear answer when asked to talk about their sexual desires. “And when people finally know what they want and need, the next problem arises. They can”t accept their desires and are afraid to share them with their partners,” Bisbee adds.
Over the years, I have seen many people who grew up in environments where attitudes toward sex and intimacy were very hostile. They were taught that sex was only for procreation, not for pleasure. As a result, they do not accept their body, their sexual feelings and desires,” says Laurie.
How to take the path of sexual self-knowledge and self-acceptance? Bisbee recommends learning about your own body and paying attention to books, videos and seminars on the topic. And the doctor strongly recommends eliminating shame before masturbation.
When your partner starts talking about his fantasies, how do you react to his revelations? Do you listen carefully and try to understand it accurately and precisely, or is it the practice/role — the acting/posture that attracts? Do you offer options and ideas? Or do you immediately reject his proposals and shut down?
Suggestibility is the main condition for trust in relationships between partners. No one has to agree with what you don”t like or find unacceptable. However, persistent effeminate sexuality and unwillingness to listen to your partner’s wishes are unlikely to have a positive effect on your sex or orgasm.
There is no need to perceive love as a competition for the sake of competition and try to achieve orgasm as quickly as possible. These devices kill your potential for pleasure and increase your emotional stress (and that”s not us!). Spend more time on foreplay, pay attention to your most sensitive areas, etc. Finally, relax!
Read also: 6 Tricks to Achieve Multiple Orgasms for Men
The secret revelation of multiple male orgasms can be considered at the level of the “search for the lost ark”, a treasure hunt. Research in the area.
Emotional and physical relaxation and letting go of high expectations is what you need!
The media is very clever at changing the perception of reality in many areas. Including sex. Movies, books and, of course! — Pornography shapes our ideas about orgasm. What is the end result? According to sexologists, some women are so focused on these imagined images that they are not aware of their orgasm.
Yes, yes! Lawrence Siegel is a clinical psychologist and sexologist. She describes this phenomenon as follows. “Not all women experience very vivid, “obvious” orgasms. It is the media that instills in us what a female orgasm should be like. Because of this, it begins to seem that orgasms must be very strong, multiple and crazy.
However, this does not always happen. And because women are completely focused on the anticipation of this most violent orgasm, they literally miss everything.”
For most women (and many men too), achieving orgasm is critical to trusting a partner and feeling safe.
This is one of the reasons why many women find it much easier to achieve orgasm through masturbation.
After all, an orgasm is, in essence, a loss of control, vulnerability and complete dissolution in the moment. It is very difficult to throw off psychological shackles and give emotions freedom of action. You”re with someone you don”t trust, right?
Alex Leslie techniques for achieving orgasm
As strange as it may sound, a certain amount of courage is something many men and women lack in bed. Fear of undressing in front of their partner, fear of disappointing them, fear of not looking or acting right. The more fears plague your mind during sex, the lower your chances of achieving orgasm. Psychologists can help in researching sexual phobias.
- Persistence
Don”t confuse obsession with patience. Don”t focus on orgasm as the main goal of intimacy—no. Don”t give up after the first failure, try again and continue to explore your body and your partner”s—yes!
Of course, you need to act not only physically but also psychologically (developing insecurities, establishing trust and communication with your partner, etc.).
Do you need sex now? Perhaps you feel like your sex drive has decreased lately, and you”re still having trouble with arousal?
This can be caused by excessive stress, hormonal fluctuations, certain medications, anxiety, depression, etc. In this case, it”s best to address the underlying cause.
Sex is far from what we see in romantic movies. In reality, we often encounter various incidents and situations related to illness. The more relaxed we are about the “imperfect” side of sex, the easier it is to relax and, consequently, achieve orgasm.
Without healthy curiosity and a willingness to explore new interests in your own body and its capabilities, you”ll find it very difficult to navigate the world of sexual pleasure.
We talk a lot about consciousness these days, but what does it have to do with sex? We”ve come to the conclusion that this is the most direct path.
Sexual awareness is focused on your feelings. You can learn this during sex and masturbation. Your task is not to think, but to feel. Sexologist Natine Kroll advises: “Learn to accept the sensations you experience, not to appreciate them.” And don”t make yourself wait too long for orgasm.
