Circumstances under which a girl can forgive cheating
“Can you forgive betrayal?” — It is impossible to give an unambiguous answer to this question. The heroines of these stories decided to continue their relationship with the partner who betrayed them. What”s happened?
Contents of the article:
“I forgave him”
- Because it was worth it.
After seven years of marriage, when we had two small children, he cheated on me. We lived separately for a year, I filed for divorce. He asked me to give him a second chance, and I decided to take the risk. For two years we worked on the relationship. We recently celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary. We love spending time together. I don”t regret giving him a chance, although I still feel pain from time to time.
- . because he was honest.
I was deceived when we met from a distance. We had to work hard to build our relationship and four years later we are still together. There are no more changes. He immediately confessed everything to me, did not shy away from rebellion, lie or try to hide. This affected my attitude towards him. But it hurt. Both of us. Forgiveness is quite a long process and I”m glad I went through it.”
- For believing in the best.
I forgave him for betraying me several times. After the first time he lasted six months. Then he changed. I forgave him again. He lasted two years and changed again. After the third betrayal, I hired a lawyer and removed his things from the house. By the way, now he has another wife and is having an affair.
- He was a drug addict.
For months he bullied me and damaged my self-esteem, but eventually the truth came out and my suspicions were confirmed. He asked me for forgiveness, began to interrupt in order to please me — expensive dinners in restaurants, gifts, trips. I was with him, but deep down I understood that I did not want to build a relationship with him with such a person. I was ashamed of myself. For what”s left. Because I was too weak to leave. A few months later, I discovered that he had lied to me again, and I was so stunned that I didn”t even know how to react. I told him that I didn”t care anymore and that I didn”t love him. He left me after a week. I was too dependent on him and I didn”t like being alone. After several months of destructive behavior, I decided that something urgently needed to change. I was 2500 kilometers from home. I was scared. But it was this decision that made me happier than ever. I feel like myself again. And I began to understand people better. I will never allow myself to be treated like this again.”
- Because he kept his word.
When I was pregnant with our first child, my husband started cheating on me. I found out about everything shortly before giving birth. I told him I wanted to take a year off and decide if I wanted to marry him. It was clear that my emotional and physical state did not allow me to think sensibly, and at that moment he could promise me anything as long as I did not leave. Over the course of the year, as we adjusted to our new parenting situation together, we also reevaluated our relationship. We went to marriage counseling together. He sought further personal advice. We relearned how to share and talk about things that could potentially hurt people but that we couldn”t escape from. We realized that we loved each other very much, but we didn”t love our marriage. And we started all over again, from the very beginning. We rolled up our sleeves and got to work. Nine years have passed. We no longer had such problems. We are happily married. I”m glad he gave us the time and opportunity to solve our problems. I”m glad he kept his promise to change. Now we are one of those quirky people who saved their marriage after cheating. But damn, how much work was put into this.
- Because I loved him.
I still loved him, so I gave him another chance. We tried to restore the relationship, but the problem was that I did not love him as much as before. My relationship with him changed daily.
Read also: What is it like to be a lover? The girls told the truth your friend is again dating a married man who is not only untrustworthy, but also unpleasant to you. Naturally, you are furious. But no.
Communication with him, dating, sex — everything was a burden. Everything about him bothered me. When you are deceived, everything changes. I”m trying to forget about what happened, but I can”t. The relationship will never be the same.”
- I wanted both.
Throughout our relationship, I forgave his betrayal three times. I think the root of the betrayal lies in the fact that he does not want to have children. I already had two and didn”t want a third. The third betrayal was special, with a child on the side. When I found out about this, I reacted very calmly. She asked who he would choose — her or me. He chose her. At that time we had been married for two weeks. Yes, yes, you understood correctly — two weeks after the wedding I found out that he had a child. Exactly. But in the end we came to the conclusion that we wanted to stay in the relationship. We were both ready to work on them. And now we’ve been together for five years.”
- Because it will make me feel better.
My boyfriend tricked me into getting infected. And yet I decided to forgive him. You need to forgive yourself first, not others — remember this. I believe that you can leave this in the past and move on with your life. As strange as it may sound, I”m not going to dwell on this situation. If my boyfriend cheats on me, does that mean he doesn”t love me? No, I don”t think so.”
- Because he”s perfect.
After his betrayal, we broke up, but remained friends. We dated other people for about a year and then got back together. At first I was skeptical and didn”t believe he was serious, but he proved that he has grown through his actions. He became the perfect guy. We”ve been together for four years. We had trust issues for a while, but things have changed now. I think we have learned to understand each other better. Everything worked great. I didn”t expect such a turn of events, but life can indeed bring surprises. We celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary, and he admitted that he had been in a relationship with another woman for six months. We reflected on the quarter century we spent together. It was a good time,” she said. She then imagined herself celebrating their half-century anniversary, surrounded by her children and grandchildren. Can you compare living together for five months to living together for 50 years? We gave the relationship a chance. We got to know each other again. And now we are preparing to celebrate our 33rd anniversary.”
- Because everything has changed.
We have been married for 14 years. But four years ago he was just my boyfriend. The person who hurt me. Only after we broke up did I find out about his marriage. At this time I faced my own crisis. Then the journey to a new self began. I also became a coach. As a result, I changed 180 degrees and became a different person. And this new, confident, healthy woman decided to choose the same man again, but now her approach was different. Before starting the relationship, I confronted him with a fait accompli and told him about what I was not ready to put up with. I told him I had to give him my confidence again. And he did it.”
- Since he tried.
“I found out about the affair and decided to give him a chance. The next year, he did everything to revive our relationship. He gave 100 percent and won my trust again.”
- Because he found a common language with her.
“I found out that my boyfriend (now my husband) cheated on me only a year later. It was a very difficult time. He broke off all contact with this woman, and I decided to give him a chance. Now, going back, I’m glad that I didn’t let the pain I was eating get in the way of a wonderful relationship. We are happily married.”
- Because the hate isn”t worth it.
“My ex-boyfriend cheated on me, but I decided not to let negative emotions get to him. He got drunk and made a mistake. Is that a valid reason for a breakup? Maybe. But why kill yourself with hatred for him and waste so much energy on it? It”s not worth it. We”re not together, but we can break up on good terms.” He had been texting another girl for a while when they met in person. When I found out about it, the relationship fell apart. He really tried to make things right and proved with his behavior that he regretted this mistake, so I decided to give him a chance. Now everything has changed, and I feel better because he”s doing everything right. I wanted to play a kind of spy game, because if in doubt, he”s ready to show me his phone immediately. We”re discussing all this. And we truly love each other.”
- That”s because mistakes don”t define us.
We were together for seven years. When he cheated on me, he immediately came to me and confessed everything. I thought about everything a lot and decided that our mistakes don”t define us. I”m not ready to forget all the good things that happened because of one wrong decision.
- Because I really wanted to forgive.
I was broken, but I realized that I really wanted to save this relationship. I want to forgive. In the past, I had to work really hard to move on from the past, but now our relationship is even better than before. He worked really hard, and I appreciate that. Now we understand each other better.
- Because she believed in his remorse.
I forgave him, but I”m still hurt. And my self-respect remains and is balanced. Why did I forgive him? Because she saw that he sincerely repented of his actions and was horrified by them.
- Because people change.
At the beginning of our relationship, there were some surprising bells and whistles. For example, he was able to start ignoring deep feelings for a while. Now, ten years later, it”s funny to remember the betrayal and everything else. It”s hard to look at that person and believe he was like that. People really do change.”
- Because both parties are responsible.
In our case, there was infidelity on both sides. He was studying abroad at the time. As soon as he returned home, we had an open conversation and confessed everything. We were both hurt, but at the same time, we responded very appropriately. Then we began discussing our views on monogamy with him and gradually came to the conclusion of polyamorous relationships.
