How to make yourself feel good — 13 ways to have a good time
These tips will change the way you think about masturbation and open up a whole new world of pleasure. After all, until you establish contact with yourself, good sex with your partner is out of the question.
Contents of the article:
Expert opinion
Every woman has her own attitude towards masturbation. Some explore their body, trying various techniques and toys, others are literally afraid to touch themselves and do not know what manipulations bring them pleasure.
For sexologists, this situation is depressing. For a long time, women have been drilled into their heads with the idea that a man”s sexual satisfaction is of paramount importance. It seemed like the topic of female pleasure had faded into the background, but that”s not true, says Lena McDaniel, MD, a clinical sexologist in Chicago.
Learning new masturbation techniques isn”t just fun. Your confidence grows and you begin to understand how your body works and what it is capable of. All this has the most positive effect on your relationship with your partner.
If all your attempts to please yourself do not bring results, do not despair. In addition, muscles are not formed immediately after the first visit to the gym. Imagine this is your homework. “Unless the examination is more enjoyable,” says sexologist Emily Morse.
Now are you ready to practice?
Devil”s dozen
- Date set
The more often you do this, the easier everything becomes. Do you think you don”t have time for such nonsense? Give yourself a date and mark the date on your calendar,” advises Morse. McDaniel agrees with his colleague. Relax and take time for your own pleasure.
- Stress has no place here
“Stress is one of the reasons why women”s sexual pleasure is relentlessly killed. Stay calm and learn to control yourself. This is always a good skill,” advises Morse.
This is true. Researchers at the Kinsey Institute found that women have a much harder time than men feeling sexually aroused on days when they”re not feeling their best. To enjoy sex, you need to relax before you step into the bedroom. This could be a walk, meditation, sports, a bath with fragrant bubbles — usually anything that helps you calm down.
“Awaken your curiosity. By setting aside self-judgment and approaching masturbation as a pleasurable activity, you will increase your chances of success,” says McDaniel.
Set a timer for 15-20 minutes and arm yourself with a small mirror. This will allow you to explore the appearance of your genitals as well as how you feel. Slowly run your fingers over your chest, abdomen and labia. Explore your body like an alien visiting an unknown planet,” says San Diego sex therapist Jennifer Gunsollus.
Read also: 7 Ways to Make Sex Hotter Using Only Your Hands
We are all used to using our private parts during sex. But have you ever thought that it is your hands that help him make it more interesting and.
Gunsollus recommends trying “meditative masturbation.” Create an environment in which all five senses can move. Bubble baths, candles, a glass of wine, music — do it for yourself, as for your partner. You also need to pamper yourself.
“Sexual lube is like salt in a dish,” Morse says. A good lubricant can really help you get the most out of masturbation. The main thing is to choose it wisely.
Morse recommends looking at water-based lubricants. Her favorite products are System Jo Agape and Astroglide. Can be used with silicone toys. Among silicone-based lubricants (suitable if you plan to use silicone toys), sexologists prefer PJUR and Uberlube products.
- Good investment
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Morse agrees: “It”s no secret that most women need to achieve orgasm through pubic stimulation, so vibrators exist for a reason.” You can get acquainted with the world of adult toys in a pool with vibrators, for example, We-Vibe Tango. It”s easy to use and quite affordable.
- Variety of pleasures
“Sometimes women go too far and literally demand an orgasm from their body during masturbation,” McDaniel says. As a result, you don”t get the pleasure you study for. She advises relaxing and not underestimating unexpected pleasures — a hot bath, the smell of perfume, the sound of music, the taste of food. This activates the necessary centers of your brain and prepares you for even greater joy,” she says.
- Fantasies
The excitement starts in the head. When heart connects with heart, the whole body follows suit. Play through your dirtiest fantasies in your head. Write your own scripts and enjoy the pleasant memories of the experience,” advises Morse. Your fantasies are your territory, so you can roam it with strength and panache. When it”s calming, many women secretly indulge in BDSM fantasies, for example.
- Erotica as art
Men are more interested in images of sex itself, while women value intrigue and details that set the mood. Luckily, both are in abundance, and the world of erotic art is truly limitless. Find content that suits your tastes.
“Your whole body can experience pleasure, so don”t limit yourself when it comes to self-education,” says Hansols. She provides stimulation not only to the obvious areas such as the genitals, but also other equally important points such as the neck and forearms using toys/hands. Monitor your feelings.
Many women complain that men do not pay enough attention to them and are in a hurry. Why repeat their mistakes? Masturbation is a journey, not a destination, Morse says. She also suggests trying to do everything three times slower than you”re used to. You took her original advice and set aside a whole day on your calendar for it, right? Think about the time spent on your happy sex life.
If you”re used to running your fingers left and right on your clitoris, try moving them up and down and vice versa. Or circle the clitoris without touching it with your fingers. In other words, step away from your normal routine a little.
You”d be surprised how many women forget to breathe. Breathe, connect with your body, and don”t think about lifting your head,” says Morse. You don”t even need to learn complex breathing techniques — just regularize your breathing. And your body will do all the work itself.
