“I want another man, but I love my current one” — what should I do?
If you experience sexual desire at the first glance at a new acquaintance, yet are sure you still love your long-term, trusted partner, don”t blame yourself. This is a fairly common situation. And it doesn”t indicate you”re being “depraved.”
Contents of the article:
Why do I want another man?
Imagine this situation. You”ve been dating a young man for several years. He”s kind, gentle, caring, and affectionate. And yet, it feels familiar. Or maybe it”s your spouse. You know all his habits and mannerisms perfectly well. In a crowd, you can guess what your man smells like. In bed, you can always guess what he”ll do next. At the same time, you enjoy sex with him. He knows all your pleasure points. And he slowly brings you to orgasm. You have a wonderful relationship. But the novelty, ease, and unpredictability that excited you from the start are gone. And new characters appear on the horizon. For example, a colleague of your spouse or boyfriend. He doesn”t necessarily have to be handsome. It”s enough if he has comfortable facial features, a confident expression, and a sexy smile. Perhaps you”re attracted to his clothes, his athletic figure, or his special scent. But the most important thing is that everything is new and unknown. Despite the saying that men are conquerors and women prefer stability in everything, this isn”t entirely true. Novelty attracts everyone. And most importantly, it”s very exciting. A new man doesn”t even have to strain to arouse maximum desire in you.
When you see your new acquaintance, you literally tremble with passion. There”s a feeling that makes life brighter and more interesting. And of course, despite your love for your significant other and the fear of losing them, you will be drawn to them. The main reasons for attraction to another man are:
- Your appearance seems “blurred” due to a long-term relationship with your beloved man. You stop seeing his sexuality and notice his physical attractiveness, velvety voice, sensuality, and confidence. But all these qualities immediately become apparent in your new acquaintance. They are not only noticeable, but also seem to be the center of attention.
- You already associate your significant other with everyday and routine life. Before you passionately undress him, you need to find out whether he had dinner, what time he has to get up for work tomorrow, and whether your youngest son has a runny nose. In the case of a new man, you are most likely interested in only one question — whether he has contraceptives.
- The beloved has long been a symbol of duty and responsibility. However, the new character is perceived as a conqueror.
- It has been a long time since there was a bright outburst of emotions in relation to the second half. This is exactly what you need in a new man. And especially not to have intimacy with him.
Your lover does not have to be better than your regular man in anything. He may be less sexually adept. But this new smell, new behavior, new words — they all turn on and enhance the pleasure.
Read also: My wife wants sex with another man, what should I do? is this normal? Or is it a playful fantasy about your wife telling you that you are unworthy of her in bed? Rules and regulations For married couples.
Do only immoral girls want another man in a relationship?
Even a faithful and devoted girl may face the fact that one day she suddenly wants to sleep with a new man. At the same time, her feelings for the young man with whom she has had a romantic relationship for a long time remain just as strong and vibrant.
Therefore, your inflamed desire for another man is not an accurate indicator of your immorality. Rather, your subsequent behavior speaks volumes about your personal qualities. What do you do with the passion that has arisen, how do you behave towards your significant other.
I”m in a relationship, but I like someone else.
- The first is to leave your loved one with a new acquaintance for more intense sex. It is likely that the passion in your relationship will not last long. And finally, you will realize that the routine has returned. Only now without love and strong feelings.
- Secondly, you will end up in bed with the character who turned you on. This may happen one or more times. In any case, this is no longer a happy, calm life, but a dishonest double game of deception and betrayal of a loved one. He will always know what happened and will leave you in great pain forever.
- Third, understand the underlying reasons why passion and excitement have disappeared from your relationship. And why you”ve developed a desire for a new man. Then, begin working on resolving this issue.
If you choose the third option (the most sensible), it”s best to build a relationship with your lover. Most importantly, never tell him the main reason why you want change. He won”t want to change his mind about your words. It”s best to shield him from such unnecessary details.
What should I do?
If you value your loved one and understand that everything is going well for you, you should begin restoring the passion in your relationship.
Sex with a lover will never improve the situation. Cheating robs you of peace of mind. Or, he can completely destroy a harmonious and happy relationship. To remedy this situation, you need to do the following:
- Otherwise, look at the object of your sexual desire. Try taking off your rose-colored glasses. Yes, his scent and playful gaze can be incredibly arousing. But consider how this plays out in other areas of your life. Perhaps your ex-lover doesn”t respect women, can”t hold a rational conversation, or lives with his mother and is completely subservient to her. These facts certainly make him less attractive to you.
- Think about what attracts you to your new acquaintance. Perhaps it”s his freedom, his sincere compliments, his unique mood. Often, a new man highlights your true desires without you even realizing it. For example, he jokes about the light BDSM theme of a TV show. And you”ve always been too shy to admit to your significant other that you”d like to try something similar in bed.
- Call your regular partner for a frank conversation. Discuss what you”re missing and what you want in bed. It”s important not to be shy and say exactly what comes to mind. These conversations will help you understand each other better, become closer, and bring back the playful spirit of sex.
- Develop a fresh sense of style. New sex locations, unfamiliar positions, and changing clothes can help. He might try on the firefighter or police officer suit you always wear. And you might wear a brunette or blonde wig, the one he”s been asking you to dye for a while. Here, you can go beyond just dressing up your suit and channeling melancholy in the couple”s bedroom. Don”t forget about play and creativity. For example, you might “unexpectedly” bump into him in a new photo next to your workstation. Then, dressed in a plumber”s suit and carrying a toolbox, he really does ring your doorbell.
If you collaborate in your sex life, you”ll soon regain your passion, novelty, and ease. It doesn”t matter how many years you”ve been together. Then you won”t want to date another man. After all, the next one is dear, beloved, and very desirable.
I want another man, not my husband — an internal conflict.
