My husband goes for an erotic massage — is this cheating?
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A Japanese proverb says: Every person has three faces. He shows his first face to the world, his second face to his family and close friends. And he never shows a third person to anyone. Because it reflects his true nature. Hence his sexual desire.
Contents of the article:
Why do men go for erotic massage
Cheating is unacceptable for one of the partners. Cheating, sex, massage — it doesn”t matter. People’s relationships are built not according to instructions, but by default; sexual behavior is taboo. But you know better before you fight the enemy. We can say that everything is clear: a person wanted something new, so he went to a place where his desires would be satisfied without any questions asked. But this is just the tip of the iceberg.
Erotic massage can be divided into two types. The massage itself, in which the girl spreads the client’s body and moves seductively, is masturbation. The second is not a mandatory point in the program and represents a completely predetermined outcome of the event; only ejaculation can be completely relaxing. The salon owner claims that there is no trespassing, it is illegal and is strictly prohibited, even verbally. But you yourself understand perfectly well that generous tips can easily pave the way to where the “brick” sign hangs.
- It relieves stress.
You give yourself over to shopping and crying, and your lover believes that the golden hands of the Eros employee allow him to quickly learn about insidious conspiracies against co-workers, overwork and fatigue. Many people go to a professional massage therapist to relax, but this is two treats for the price of one. Perhaps his friend, a lover of such entertainment, almost used such expressions to convince him to decide on a date. Not sex? So it”s okay.
- Your views on intimate life do not coincide.
This doesn”t mean that you are a boring and ordinary person. Most people fantasize about group sex and BDSM, but never dare to pursue it in reality. It is enough for them to immerse themselves in their own dreams, but not to encroach on the peaceful existence of their family. And your man lives by the principle that you need to try everything. And when will you materialize your secret desire, if it is not yet young and good?
- He wants something new.
And he knows that you are against it. Unfortunately, this is the most common reason. You are beautiful and young, but every day he sees you as his wife or the mother of his children. And this brunette with lush breasts follows the lead of an attractive stranger who is ready to keep his fornication a secret. Formally, he may not consider himself guilty of this treason. “Jade Rod” didn”t mention “tender buds”, but honestly admits it, so how easy is it for you?
Read also: Pleasure squared or how to do erotic massage
We can talk endlessly about sex and everything connected with it. Its possibilities and variations are limited only by your imagination. For example, right.
- He doesn’t see anything wrong with this and equates going to an erotic salon with ordinary services, like visiting a hairdresser.
This is the worst of all possible options. Not only do sexual preferences not match, you risk disappointing your lover by not appreciating consumerism. “I didn”t win a lover, all men go to watch porn at striptease. It”s almost the same” — you”ll probably hear things like.
Sex used to be simple. Modern society promotes that it is not the birth of a child, but coming to the fore in a person”s life and doing what everyone else is doing, that brings him happiness. In addition, remember that the attitude towards men who go out on the side is always more loyal than towards women. Gender roles, like values, are changing.
�� I went for an erotic massage — should I tell my wife? psychologist”s answer
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Men are less interested in debt. All of this affects identity and sexuality. Many men prefer going to psychologists for erotic services in order to cope with uncertainty at the massage table, to maintain dignity in the presence of women who do not admit mistakes and do not have the right to accuse others of vices.
What to do if you catch your husband
There is no clear answer to this question. Either way, confirmation of infidelity is a blow to you, and your spouse will decide whether your marriage is worth trying to save. Your spouse can endlessly make excuses that “it’s not about gender, it’s not about experiments, this doesn’t happen.” The fact remains a fact. He spent the family budget on sexual satisfaction.
The most difficult part of figuring out relationships is that everyone”s moral boundaries are different, and the same rules do not always apply successfully to both oneself and others. He went and threw out unnecessary negative energy, suddenly you did the same and shamed your family into changing.
It is very useful to learn about each other”s sexual desires and similar possible pitfalls before your passports are stamped with a marriage registration. However, unfortunately, frank conversations on the beach are also not a guarantee. Due to long family life, people”s priorities and values can change radically.
Very often, erotic massage is equated with the use of toys for adults, forgetting that experiments should evoke the same desire to reveal sexual potential. Just wash the toy, put it in a box, buy a new one or throw it away, and the silent third party is the same person as you. Many couples practice sex in threesomes or with multiple partners. If this happens by mutual consent, then we are not talking about treason. In your case, he made this decision alone.
If you ask questions whether this is betrayal or not, then it will hurt you, and this event does not fit into your idea of a happy family life. Some people choose to turn a blind eye to the left, others think it”s a deal breaker. Remember that it is almost impossible to restore trust. You”ll never know what exactly happened behind the closed doors of the “massage” parlor, and you can”t take your husband”s word that it won”t happen again.
And remember that manual labor is not as safe as it seems. Salon workers are often hired without a mandatory medical examination. A large flow of clients, lack of guarantees of hygiene and the presence of uncomfortable painful masses.
