My husband”s mistress is pregnant — should I forgive him?
If you didn’t even know about your spouse’s infidelity, and soon found out about your rival’s infidelity and pregnancy, such consequences can come as a real shock to you. First, try to remain calm and find the strength to take further action. Then, and only then, make a decision.
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If your lover tells you about pregnancy
Your first reaction may be a desire to inflict moral and physical harm on this girl who has destroyed your personal happiness. But think about the fact that everything you feared has already happened. There is no point in wasting your nerves by arranging a confrontation now. This will be completely unnecessary.
- Yelling at her and calling her names, trying to remember all the worst curse words you know;
- Offer to meet to sort it out in person, in case of a phone call or message from her on social networks. Such a meeting will only hurt you even more, worsen your condition;
- Curse, wish the girl all the most negative things. This will only keep you stuck in unpleasant emotions, preventing you from getting out of them and reasoning rationally and adequately;
- Demand to leave your family, never call or show up again. She has nothing in common with you, but she and your husband now have a child together;
- Threaten with physical violence. You could even be prosecuted for something like this;
- Report how bad she is to all her relatives, acquaintances, and employer. This will not help you in any way, and it will make life very difficult for a pregnant girl. And, most likely, you will soon regret such actions;
- Demand to get rid of the child. Despite the fact that he was conceived by your husband, you have nothing to do with the baby. Only his parents can decide whether he should live or not. And first of all — mom.
Remember that his mistress is pregnant. You don”t want to cause a miscarriage or health problems for the pregnant mother and her child. And the severe stress of a major scandal can lead to these. So, first, try to express your feelings in the most healthy way possible. Then, immediately become an adult and decide what to do in this situation. However, don”t deceive yourself and don”t try to settle for phrases like, “Yeah, it”s nothing, nothing serious happened.” Acknowledge that the situation is difficult and that it hurts you. Experience these feelings. Allow them to exist, and gradually they will pass on their own, without leaving a painful trace, as often happens with difficult, unprocessed emotions. If you need time to calm down, take it. It may seem like you need to make a decision immediately. After all, there”s still time to decide on an abortion. However, don”t try to interfere in this matter. Let them deal with the “culprit.” In the meantime, try to gradually come to your senses and realize that the world isn”t falling apart. Life will go on as usual. You will have to make difficult decisions and take responsibility.
Read also: My wife cheated while drunk — should I forgive her? life is unpredictable, and anything can happen, even the most unpleasant things. A partner”s infidelity is one of these very unpleasant events. The question arises: what?
Should you forgive your husband?
First, try not to make him the victim. Men in such situations often try to pressure you with sympathy and lamentation.
Remember that he made the decision to cheat on you. Moreover, he didn”t take care of high-quality protection. He put both his mistress and you at risk. After all, no one is immune from sexually transmitted diseases these days. Before deciding whether to forgive him, consider the following:
- How long have you been together, what was your relationship like before;
- What problems are you experiencing as a couple? Why did your husband try to escape to his mistress, and did he first try to resolve the existing difficult situations with you?
- Do you have children?
- How does he behave—is he sincerely remorseful, asking for forgiveness, or, conversely, trying to blame you for what happened?
- How does he treat his mistress, how does he talk about her, and what are his thoughts about the future child?
How to react when you find out that your husband”s mistress is pregnant?
How to deal with marriage?
You can sincerely forgive your spouse for cheating and even maintain comfortable communication with him. But at the same time, she categorically refuses to continue living with him.
This is important when you decide to focus solely on yourself. Don”t get hung up on “expert” advice. Remember that you should be as comfortable as possible and therefore completely normal. And divorce after betrayal, no matter how old you are or how many children you have. And save the marriage, even if others think it”s wrong. If you find the strength to stay close to your husband after what happened, be prepared for the following facts:
- It will be extremely difficult to restore the previous trust in a relationship. You may have to literally force yourself not to check his phone, not to try to catch him cheating;
- In every quarrel and unpleasant situation there will be a desire to blame him for what happened. And you will need to work hard on yourself. Learn to let go of the past and live again;
- If your mistress decides to leave the child, then you will most likely have contact with him. These include meetings with the baby and financial expenses from the family budget;
- You will have to learn to build relationships in new conditions. You will look at your spouse differently. You will discover radically new sides to it. And not all of them will be positive;
- You may need the help of a family psychologist. Especially if you had relationship problems before everything happened.
Finding out about the betrayal of your beloved husband is always a difficult test for a woman. Especially if his mistress turns out to be pregnant. You need to replenish your reserves of patience and calmness in order to behave with dignity in difficult situations and continue to decide the fate of your family.
My husband”s mistress is pregnant, what to do, part 1
