Don”t become a victim of insidious manipulation: the psychology of gift giving
“Giving and receiving” is the main problem in partnerships. The imbalance is almost always observed here. One is invested in the relationship, and the other relies on fame. This cannot lead to difficulties. In general, however, these processes can be used in the interests of loving communication. Jeremy Nicholson, a psychologist and sexologist, talks about how to do this.
Contents of the article:
Manipulation is the norm in relationships
“The exchange of benefits is not only a meager salary twice a month, but also a targeted donation to your favorite company.” Yes, such an exchange does not always mean parity. And he is not always fair. But still, when you make an investment, you expect a certain return from the other party. And exactly the same psychological laws are based on relationships.” As an example, Jeremy cites the relationship between a housewife and her working husband. Consider an everyday situation. The wife stays at home, and the husband works 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to provide for the family. If she also contributes to the well-being of the family, this does not irritate her husband. If she cannot “pay” for these benefits, there is a good chance that it will disgust her husband in the near future.” “At the same time, we often see the beauty of men enjoying a free life left and right — that”s men”s money. Many people wonder: why do men suffer from this? Why is there no return from this narcissistic woman? This is a manipulative game called “get as far as possible.”
The basis of manipulative technique
“A person who truly believes that he deserves it constantly does nothing important.” Especially if this behavior is repeated several times. For example, such a girl is ready to receive a magnificent diamond from her gentleman again and again, innocently batting her eyes and scattering words of gratitude. But in fact, such behavior only delights the fan even more. Indeed, the lady is in no hurry to establish equilibrium on the stock exchange.”
Read also: How not to succumb to a man’s manipulation: top 5 tips not all men want to find true happiness and true love. For many, she is a fairly submissive woman who is always there and satisfies all of them.
“Such situations arise in the reverse order, when a girl tries to please. In the case of male efforts, the role mechanisms are more clear. Indeed, such a person “cheats the system” and receives benefits and values for nothing. And, presumably, she has little feelings for her fans.”
Why can”t you give expensive gifts to a man?
How to avoid falling into a trap
For one person, this behavior can be beneficial. But how to protect others from it? Here are some basic recommendations
- Don”t invest too much or too quickly in a relationship. “This is especially important at the beginning of a relationship. Don”t invest too much money in a new love affair,” Nicholson emphasizes. “Lobster for dinner doesn”t change anything. It won”t make your partner love you more.”
- Keep your balance. If your partner is in no hurry to thank you in accordance with his comfortable behavior. And if he”s slow to reciprocate with his investment in the relationship, you may want to slightly adjust your enthusiasm for your investment in the relationship. Healthy relationships develop only where there is mutualism,” explains the psychologist.
- Instead of giving gifts, make deals. “If you need something specific from your partner, why not be open about it? Ask your colleague what you need. And in return, promise him what he needs. In this case, you are much more likely to get what you want,” emphasizes Nikolon.
Giving and caring are part of a healthy relationship. Grateful partners who feel reciprocal feelings usually try to compensate for the efforts of others without much motivation. However, if someone feels indifference to us, the gift is not inferior to love and recognition of him.
