6 reasons why you want to have sex with your ex
Why are you so drawn to a person with whom you have already broken up? We understand the nature of desire for sex in exe.
Contents of the article:
Why do you want to have sex with your ex?
- You just need sex
After weighing all the pros and cons, you are finally convinced of the correctness of your decision. You are not with this person. You have no future. And while you definitely don”t want this relationship back (even if it usually ends amicably and not badly). You need sex.
Perhaps a night of sex with a strange man is not for you. You won”t be able to relax properly. Before going to bed, you need to find a partner closer to you.
Or you simply don’t have the time or desire to search and meet someone. And the idea of sex with your ex starts to look very attractive.
- You need intimacy.
Adult toys will help satisfy your sexual needs and bring you to orgasm. Many of them will be better at this task than your EX. However, understand that it”s not so much about orgasm as it is about feeling close to another person. It is you who are not good enough for yourself, and you do not see him on the horizon yet.
- The breakup didn”t hurt you.
As adults, as mentally stable and mature people, you parted calmly and peacefully. You are not afraid that casual relationships will cause painful wounds (simply because you don’t have any), and you are happy to start all over again. Why try if there is no risk?
- You”re just lonely.
This is especially true for girls who have never had anyone around, as well as for guys (who have been before). You have no friends or acquaintances. There is no one to support you. There is no one with whom you can go to the cinema or spend a cozy evening with pizza and wine. There is no one to share your joys and sorrows with.
You are so lonely that you are not ready to wait for a new relationship. And now you pick up the phone and dial your ex’s number.
- Chemistry” is still alive.
It was with this person that you learned what real passion is. With him, you experimented with the craziest things in bed. The most powerful orgasms and the most unforgettable dates.
No matter how much you try to deny the obvious, you have to admit that this man is the best lover of your life. You don”t even need a relationship with him. You just want to experience what happened to him at least once. What if I never have this again? — whispers a voice in your head. Then your hand reaches for the phone again.
- You are deceiving yourself.
He started dating someone else, but you still believe that he can”t forget you. Sex with another person represents you. And even if you receive an invitation to his wedding, you continue to convince yourself that it”s not over yet. That you still have a chance.
So stop! Honey, are you feeling okay? Do you still feel worse because of the empty hope of feeding yourself for breakfast, lunch and dinner? Are you tired of living in a world of your own fantasies and wasting your youth?
Finally, shift your focus away from your home and into the outdoors. For a vibrator or for a new man.
Is the game worth the candle?
The desire to be in his arms again will not leave you. Friends have already expressed their affection to you and warned that they will not support your idea. You are tormented by doubts and you don’t know what to do. Are you trying to behave rationally? Do you give in to your desires?
Experts say that sometimes having sex with your ex is a good idea. And here”s why:
- He copes without a navigator.
The first one already knows your body, knows what turns you on, and knows how to please you (well, I want to believe it!). If there are no grudges left against each other and you can maintain a good relationship after this experience, then why not?
“This way, you both get a sexual partner you know and trust. This is especially true if you”re not yet ready to start a new relationship,” says Lipsky, a family sexual disorder fellow.
- You can close this chapter
“Breakup sex can help you bring closure to your relationship,” explains clinical psychologist Dara Bushman. Of course, this won”t matter if you”re barely out of a codependent relationship and can”t learn to live without each other.
If masturbation is not enough, and a night of sex is not your thing, the first one will come to the rescue! “There”s a certain comfort and trust in sex with a previous partner, but it may not be the same as with a new partner,” says Megan Stubbs, a sex and relationship expert.
Read also: 19 reasons why you don”t want sex anymore and their solutions
Don”t put off solving the problem for too long. It may be much simpler than you think. 19 reasons for your reluctance and how to fix it Sex is very.
However, experts also want to warn you that sex with your ex can lead to a lot of problems. For example:
- It will be more difficult to break the connection
During and after sex, chemicals are released that bond you together. In addition, oxytocin acts longer in the female body than in the male body. So after sex, women may find that their connection begins to grow again, but men feel differently,” warns expert Rachel Wright.
Needless to say, such misconceptions can cause your heart to break again?
- It gives you false hope.
You should understand in advance that sex with your ex is not a guarantee that he wants you back. Even if the sex is very good.
“If one partner is retired and the other is not, casual sex can make the other partner feel unnecessarily optimistic,” says sex therapist Stephanie Gerlich.
- “This gives the first false hope.
“Continue to have sex with him and you will only give him more reasons to continue his attempts to protect you. Then he may blame you for giving him false hope,” Lipsky warns.
Your ex can”t forget you, and the thought of “feeling sorry” for him comes to your mind? Run and run until this crazy idea gets out of your head.
- It will be much more difficult for you to leave this relationship in the past.
“Sex hinders progress and prolongs the time you are emotionally closed to new relationships,” warns clinical psychologist Max Sharp.
Have you forgotten the past and begun to emerge from the depths of suffering and melancholy? No sex! Run to the woman who wants to spend the night in Deathquest. You both need to clear your head properly.
Important questions
Before making your final decision, make sure you are prepared for this dangerous event. Answer the following questions.
Drunken socializing, flirting, and dramatic appeals can be fun. However, the fun quickly wears off when you wake up in the morning and see a familiar face on the next pillow. An important point in preparing for sex with your ex: the final decision should be made only in a calm and collected mind.
- Do you agree that your breakup was the right decision?
If not, then it is better to refuse sex. Otherwise, you will weld such a ridge that you will have to find time for a very long time.
- Are you sure you don”t want to continue this relationship?
Wasting time and energy on a person who does not share your desires is completely unwise. So you will come to him for the first call any time you want him to change something?
Satya • relationships with exes.
- Does he want your relationship back?
If you”re dreaming of a reunion, grab a flag (or better yet, a pack of condoms). If he”s trying to get you back but you don”t want it, is it worth your time?
Peace Agreement
Want to avoid misunderstandings with your ex and avoid unnecessary drama? Then discuss the following details in advance:
- Your expectations from this meeting and further communication.
- Your feelings — about the upcoming meeting, your past relationships and their breakup.
- Length of your encounter — will it be a one-time thing or do you want it to be “sexy”?
- Your relationship with another person, does the number of other partners you have with each other matter (the issue of taking care of your health and contraception is also present here).
So they understand. But what happened after that, your action plan:
- Remember why you broke up
You didn”t just break up like that, did you? The sex was good, but something about the relationship wasn”t as good as you wanted it to be. Show a little and remember the first, but don”t get carried away. There was a reason for it, and you became it before.
- Keep moving forward.
Talk to a friend. Contact a psychologist. Cut off communication with each other. Start a date. To some extent, but do everything to end your relationship.
There is no need to say the phrase “I’m calling you.” Thanks for the cool evening. Our last meeting was good” — this option is more suitable for your situation.
- Don”t pretend nothing happened.
Strange. Irrational. And it”s just stupid. What was that? This is your conscious decision: sex. Finally, you act like an adult who just decided to have a little fun.
Sex with your ex: real stories
What could a spontaneous meeting with your executor lead to? These anonymous mini-stories will tell you about it:
- Long-awaited relief.
“For me, having sex with my ex was the best decision of my life. She gave me more than I ever expected. And it gave me an increase in self-esteem and a reboot. Yes, it was just fun!
At that time I was neither moving forward nor backward. But the next morning, in the most amazing way that night, I felt relieved. We parted very badly, there was a lot of pain and anxiety. This relationship began to look like one terrible mistake. But that night reminded me of how much fun we had, and how much fun he had. That”s how we parted peacefully.”
- Games according to the rules.
“The rules definitely need to be set. Why? Otherwise, you”ll end up back in a relationship with no time to look around because you”ll be back to bickering over each other”s nervous nagging and whining. We don”t want that, do we?
Don”t make my mistake and discuss everything in advance. I didn’t even have time to blink because I had already written him an insulting message saying that I was late for my aunt’s wedding. No, you don”t need that kind of happiness.
- Do you want to make yourself hara-kiri?
My ex and I fell into the “just sex” phase for a while. It was terrible. You feel great while you are in bed. And there are also moments of emotional hara-kiri. Always. Either you or your partner. And this happens every time.”
- Divine illumination.
I decided to have sex with my ex to prove to myself that I was over him. And it turned out to be so. I realized that there was no point in shedding tears or wishing for anything because of him. And suddenly it turned out that sex with him was quite mediocre — but it seemed to me that he was the best lover in my life!
- Secret adventures of the ex-husband
“Having sex with your ex-husband is very rude. It”s like going back to the beginning of our relationship. There was flirting, seduction and an exciting feeling that you were having an affair. This experience made us feel free and sexy.”
