8 girls talked about sex after an abortion
People use the phrase “sex after abortion” about 2, 000 times a month. There is no one rule about how long you should wait to have sex again.
Contents of the article:
Doctors usually make recommendations to patients based on their medical history. However, many women have more questions than answers. For example, does sex hurt? Do sensations change during sexual intercourse?
This article helps answer some of these questions and highlights the fact that there is no right choice—only stopping or quitting.
*Some names have been changed and quotes have been edited and clarified.
8 stories of women who had an abortion
Sami, 29 years old
I had an abortion at 26 because I wanted to. I met a young man, and when I found out that I was pregnant, I realized that I was not ready to become a mother. It was an easy decision and I”m very proud of it.
Three or four months passed between the abortion and this moment. The first time after the abortion was not the same as when I thought I needed to lose my virginity in a special way, I thought it had to be special.
As I learned more about the “consequences of sex,” I realized that I didn”t need to correct my past mistakes. I can continue doing what I was doing. Now I understand that this is my experience. My mistakes. And my right to choose.
Elaina, 25 years old
In fact, I had three abortions. I had my first abortion when I was 17 years old. I was in high school at the time, but I felt a lot of pressure from my boyfriend. I felt like I shouldn”t do this.
Forgetting about contraception, I became pregnant and decided to have an abortion. After the operation, I was afraid that my partner would leave me, so we immediately continued to have sex. I didn”t think about myself. The only thought in my head was: “I have to do this.”
The second time, when I was 19 years old, I became pregnant. At the time, I was engaged to another man. After the painful process of osmosis, I continued to behave the same way as the first time. She sincerely believed that it was my duty to have regular sex with her partner.
Then, when I was 23, I had my third abortion. I was in a pretty strong and healthy relationship and my partner was a really loving and caring person. I put off this abortion longer than the previous one, which required much more physical effort from me. As a result, I lost a lot of blood and was in much more pain.
However, I was already older and more confident, so I was able to get my partner and my boundaries in order. We waited several months to fall in love again, and I think he was even more nervous than I was on X-day.
Kenya, 42
I had my first abortion when I was 19 years old. I studied at university, but was completely unprepared to become a mother. I was a little ashamed, so I tried to hide this information from everyone and did not share my experience with anyone. The guy I met was in a relationship with his high school girlfriend, but he hid it from me.
The doctor recommended waiting at least four weeks before having sex again after the abortion. But to be honest, I didn”t want this. I was very afraid to go through this again. So I decided to focus on my education.
Lindsay, 30 years old
When I was 23 years old, I got involved with a terrible person. And I became pregnant from him. It was terrible, but I was always sure that if this happened, I would have an abortion. I”m not one of those people who have children.
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About two weeks after the abortion, we decided to have sex. I was at a party with a friend I”ve known all my life, and at some point I thought, “I”m not going to have a baby.” Fuck it all. Let”s get rid of this obstacle.” Oddly enough, we ended up breaking the bed.
We were definitely more nervous than usual, checking from time to time to make sure the condoms were on. We took precautions, but were very worried, so we took the pill the next morning. But I really enjoyed it because it helped me get some of myself back and remember that it’s okay to be sexually liberated.
Kelsey, 32 years old
I had two abortions, both with the same partner, and we are still together. The first time this happened was when I was 25 years old. We were far apart at the time and it took us a while to see each other in person, let alone have sex, since most of our finances were lost due to abortions.
I remember that for about a month after the procedure I was very scared because I couldn’t even masturbate. When we finally met again, I remember how scared I was. I asked him to make time for me and talk to me constantly to make sure I was okay. As soon as I started, I realized that everything was not so scary.
My second abortion happened recently, right after my partner and I got engaged. Like the first abortion, it was a fairly simple decision. Even though we both wanted kids, we had literally just decided to get married and it just wasn”t the right time.
Abortion what you need to know!
When I got pregnant the first time, I didn”t use contraception. But this time I was very scared. After my second abortion, I didn”t have sex for three months. I think my partner had the same fears as me.
Stephanie, 33 years old
I had my first miscarriage when I was 25 years old. It was an unexpected pregnancy, but my boyfriend (now husband) and I decided to raise him together. However, a routine 8-week ultrasound showed that something was wrong with the baby. We soon learned that our child had a rare and incurable genetic disease. Faced with difficult choices, we ultimately decided to terminate the pregnancy.
We waited about a month before having sex again, until the bleeding stopped completely and our bodies felt more normal. My second abortion happened much later, a little over a month ago. My husband and I have two children and we are paying off our debts. Another child is not in our plans.
But I was very surprised that I immediately wanted to have sex again. Within a few days after the operation I was ready again. I think this was my way of expressing my need to be close to my husband and feel his support at the moment.
Kayla, 24 years old
I had an abortion when I was 19. I had a second one when I was 21. It was the first time I had sex again, and I remember being nervous because I knew I”d have to wait a long time before we could have sex. The specialist at the clinic I went to told me to wait a few weeks before having sex, and I know we didn”t wait long.
I was terrified and couldn”t imagine what it would be like. Was I really bleeding? Was something going to go wrong? Would everything go smoothly or would something bad happen? All these questions constantly swirled in my head. But everything ended more than happily.
A few years later, I had a second abortion. Then my first child was born, just four months old. Then my partner and I agreed that it was worth waiting to have another child. We”d been through this before, so we weren”t too concerned about how soon we”d have sex again. We knew everything would work out. Aziza, 38
Aziza, 38 years old
I decided to take the morning-after pill. We lived in two completely different cities, so we were intimate during my next visit to him. This happened the week after the abortion.
We had to wait at least a few weeks to be in bed together again. But I remember feeling a wild desire to make love to him, knowing that a long separation lay ahead.
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