Active and passive in relationships and sex — who are you?
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What does it mean to be an asset or a liability in a relationship? If you think that the whole point lies in physical activity, then this opinion is partly wrong. Let”s try to understand these two categories and find signs that characterize responsibility for all aspects of the love aspect.
Contents of the article:
The concepts of asset and liability
To create a precise definition of terms, we provide a number of criteria that indicate the activities of partners in a relationship.
Start with the intimate area. Role-playing games, bondage, watching pornography together: such quiet things are unlikely to bring results. After all, anything beyond the missionary position is considered gross perversion. However, this is fundamentally wrong.
Systematic “silencing” of sex or love without lust has a very negative effect on sexual activity. What will this lead to? The integration of pleasure and pleasure hormones decreases, and sexuality ceases to reach normal dynamics. An imbalance in the functioning of the endocrine and reproductive systems leads to the development of organ and systemic pathologies.
As for the active partner, his initiative disappears over time, sex turns into a demonstration once or twice a year. This behavior increases the risk of infidelity by 80% and in most cases is grounds for divorce.
What constitutes healthy communication for you? Constant chatter about everything or nothing or the opportunity to be alone? If the assets are rattling non-stop and the liabilities seem silent, this is another mistake. Brain activity is so strong and intense that sometimes people don”t want to talk about anything. For such people, moments of understanding and discovery of new and interesting ideas are important. At the same time, a person can become a caring family man, have an excellent career and achieve success in sports.
In contrast to such individuals, truly passive ones sometimes become very illegitimate. This is a kind of defensive reaction. They know they don”t like to communicate. Long conversations and even monosyllabic answers can be burdensome for them.
Let”s talk about bad and good habits. Let me make a reservation right away: only what I say are statistical indicators and observations. There are a lot of exceptions, and that”s great. But let”s get down to business. Active people always try to achieve success in their career, love and hobbies. This creates a desire to attract partners. To a certain extent, this leaves an imprint on hobbies. Commitments in this regard are more restrained. They are convinced that they cannot ruin their lives with alcohol or cigarettes.
Yes, and even he can determine the condition of his partner. Suppose you are at a party where there are many beautiful people, but you see only one of them — tall, handsome, fair-haired. His eyes are slightly closed, his arms are crossed on his chest, his pelvis is pushed forward. The rest of the boys, running their eyes around the world, glance around and pass by in search of a small gray mouse. Can you feel the difference? Let me remind you of one important point. Strong men in the present must choose strong women in the present.
Another criterion that so clearly characterizes the activities of your partner. If your boyfriend has developed habits of waking up early, doing yoga, and eating healthy, do you think he”s completely copying you? Here”s another option: you decided to buy a chest and a washing machine, and it seems to you that your old friend divorced her husband in vain. Your partner thinks the same. He also says that he has long wanted to buy a chest of drawers, and strongly condemns his friend”s action.
What does this say about you? You decided to do something, talk to someone, buy something: you took the initiative. What does your partner do? He kindly agrees. In the end, defending your protests and reluctance is too costly for him energetically and emotionally. The best option is to pretend that you need it yourself, or adopt a way of thinking, or at least pretend.
Read also: How important is sex for a relationship and is it possible without it?
Relationships without sex — is this normal? We look at this aspect of relationships from the point of view of a man and a woman. Is sex a necessity? We are all different.
You and I have worked well and understood the criteria for a partner’s activity in a relationship. It”s time to define the concept.
An asset is a partner whose activities are aimed at improving relationships, personality, self and passions, and whose initiative is always one step ahead.
Passive — partners whose desires and abilities are not so active. It is easier for such people to avoid tension and unnecessary confusion and rely on the intuition of others. When talking about sex, don”t jump to conclusions. Perhaps an active social life requires more focus, and if you want to relax in bed, let your partner take the lead role.
How do you understand that you are a liability?
For many couples, the relationship is a joint partnership. This involves support, assistance, mutual experience and problem solving. But what happens when a bunch of keys falls into the hands of one partner? And, very importantly, we are not talking about hammering nails 10 times a year or cooking Caesar 10 times a week.
It”s constantly coming up with solutions to problems, taking the initiative in sex, wanting to go shopping, having something to talk about, watching a movie. Again, this should always happen.
Even if your partner gives you freedom of action in terms of harvesting grain or listening to music, this in no way shifts responsibility to him. After all, there are such concepts as respect, love and the importance of other people’s opinions. Finally, people can get tired. Let”s talk about some real signs of responsibility in a relationship.
- Your relationship is stagnant
Age doesn”t matter. Both of you need to maintain the relationship at the proper level. By being responsible, you are doing your partner a disservice. Of course, you know what he wants, but he doesn”t know you. The reverse is also true — when you are actively involved in a relationship, his choices reflect your thoughts and decisions. In such situations, “love” becomes a heavy burden for both of you. Everyone’s task is to bring interest, excitement and unpredictability into the life of the community.
Are you a liability or an asset? quick test
- You will no longer feel the boundaries between your own and other people”s desires.
Perhaps you are satisfied with your life with your partner. However, when you cross the next threshold, your partner will want more. He is called to a new job in another city, he looks after a large cozy house and even decides to take up swimming. Of course he attracts you. But do you want this?
By agreeing with his choice, you throw away your personal opinion and lock him away forever. Over time, it becomes increasingly difficult to separate your desires and opinions from his. The idea of unity is very different from what you might imagine.
- You always rely on your partner”s choice
What movie should I watch? Which restaurant should you go to? Which car is better? You prefer not to answer the millions of questions that arise between you and give your partner the right to choose. If you completely agree with your choice, you lose interest in his eyes and become more and more distant every day.
- Imitating other people”s ideas
Remember the question asked above. If, over time, the answer from your mouth becomes the same as the opinion of your partner, there is reason to wonder: have you become a parrot?
- You lose your individuality.
By copying your partner, you lose yourself as an individual. The time for regeneration has long passed. You need to learn to defend your views and offer your ideas. Otherwise, your relationship will slowly but surely come to an end.
Anger and resentment build up in you because you cannot speak up and your partner constantly indulges you. You may get to the point where you”re screaming at the plates and cups, dropping everything and letting off steam.
- You give up what is dear to you
By rejecting things and people dear to your heart, you risk ending up alone. It is impossible to live in fear of other people”s opinions or changing circumstances. You are an individual, and above all, you must be yourself. Even if you copy a famous painting masterpiece, the artist adds something unique. What”s worse than you?
Sometimes it”s okay to be passive in a relationship. We are not robots. Sometimes there is a temptation to surrender to the will of fate without thinking. However, if the behavior is repeated in a particular manner, make sure you have the right to speak up. Otherwise, the relationship will suffer serious damage.
