After giving birth I don’t want a husband — why and what to do?
Is it normal for your libido to go into temporary hibernation, and what should you do to wake it up?
The happiness of motherhood
Having a baby is a real test for your body. Is it normal that sex with your husband doesn”t bother you as much as it used to? And here”s why:
Contents of the article:
Lack of sleep is one of the main reasons why you are not interested in sexual adventures at the moment. It”s not a problem.
A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that every additional hour of sleep a new mother can add to her schedule increases her chances of having sex by 14%.
Researchers also found that good sleep has a beneficial effect on a woman”s ability to experience sexual arousal. And vice versa — the more you sleep, the more difficult it is for you to be aroused by any love.
- There is postpartum depression.
Many women suffer from this disease, but only a small number of women receive qualified help and support from their loved ones. If you suspect you may have postpartum depression, seek professional help. And share your experience with your husband — you don’t have to carry all this burden alone.
Each person is born differently and therefore the effects (psychological and physiological) are unique to each woman. You may need a longer recovery period than your mother, sisters, girlfriends or colleagues. It”s not a problem. Follow your doctor”s recommendations and don”t be afraid to ask questions if you have any concerns.
Take your time when your doctor tells you that you can return to sexual activity. Ask your partner to spend more time on proper love scenes and foreplay. Help him help you relax. Feel your body again and learn not to demand Olympic performance from yourself.
If the problem persists after some time, you can consult a psychologist. Think that this contributes not only to your health, but also to the well-being of your child — if his mother is happy, then he will be much calmer.
- Sex brings you pain.
You”ve followed all your doctor”s recommendations, and you and your husband are diligently using lubricant, but you”re still experiencing pain during intercourse? Don”t tolerate it “for your husband”s sake,” don”t deny sex, and don”t make excuses. Consult your doctor to determine the problem.
- You”re breastfeeding.
Nature has provided for everything and ensured that new mothers are fully devoted to their babies and not distracted by any nonsense. Therefore, while you”re breastfeeding, your libido may take a break—this is completely normal. Don”t give up breastfeeding just for this reason. Wait until your hormones return to normal.
Also, during this period, you may notice that your natural lubrication is insufficient, and you”ll experience vaginal dryness. How can you solve this problem? Use lubricant.
Read also: The Main Reasons Why Your Husband Doesn”t Want Sex After Childbirth
When we”re planning a pregnancy, we rarely think about our sex life after birth. Often, being completely immersed in the baby can be the cause.
- You don”t like your body
Many women face this. You look in the mirror and see something different than you”re used to. Stretch marks and excess weight don”t boost your confidence. Your man, looking at your new figure, seems to instantly lose his erection. You refuse to undress in front of him and get into your own.
But you can”t solve the problem.
You give up strict diets and grueling workouts. Gradually get back into shape, but don”t let the number on the scale affect your health. Ask your husband for a massage—it”s an unexpected approach (even though you know it), but this gesture reminds you that your body is still a source of pleasure and enjoyment. Sex After Childbirth: Real Stories
Sex after childbirth: real stories
- The first three times, I experienced a crisis of pain and only brought discomfort. But then everything returned to normal.
We started trying oral sex three weeks after giving birth. After six weeks we moved on to infiltration. There was a minimal gap during childbirth, but still I don’t see the point in rushing through it. Three months after the birth of the child, we had sex, but rarely. Where is the time for him?
- My husband and I didn”t start having sex until seven months after giving birth. Hormonal changes and lack of sleep took their toll—thoughts about sex never crossed my mind during this period.”
- “My first birth ended in a terrible rupture. The baby literally flew out of me. The doctor made me a translator so that everything wouldn’t break down completely.
- The first sex happened only nine months later. It still hurts. Childbirth is just a nightmare. But that didn”t stop me from wanting to have a second child.
Having my second child felt like a walk in the park. After eight months, my husband and I returned to having sex.”
Even six months after giving birth, I was terrified. I felt excited, physically everything was fine, but I was terrified of sex. My brain was projecting the pain of childbirth onto the idea of penetration, and it was driving me crazy.”
- After giving birth, I didn”t have sex with my husband for a year. I didn”t even think about it. Instead there was construction depression, anxiety and lack of sleep. I wanted to spend at least some of my precious personal time having sex. But it still hurt, and my husband couldn’t make it to the end.”
- My first son was born by emergency caesarean section. I was simply physically destroyed. It took about four months before I wanted anything even remotely close to intimacy with my husband. Even kissing and touching were uncomfortable for me. I was exhausted in every sense of the word.
- Six months later we were still trying to have sex after two glasses of wine. There was no pain, no surprise. But then I got cheap relief.”
After a natural birth with a lot of tearing, just the thought of sex scared me for ten months. I”m glad I left him alone during my pregnancy and didn”t have to worry about pleasing my partner.
- After eleven months, I felt ready. I called my ex-boyfriend, with whom I had always been good friends. He readily agreed to become my “first”.
I was nervous at first, but everything went better than expected. Of course my breasts were out of shape.
“The first time I had sex was two years after giving birth. On the day my child was born. It was a Saturday night. It was my first day off in a long time. Why did you wait so long? I had vulvodynia, which not only worsened with the onset of pregnancy, but I was waiting for my breasts to heal after breastfeeding, but I didn”t have time to worry about the baby, and my sex drive dropped. As such.
- To be honest, there”s another reason—we spent 90% of our time with my husband, and it was dirty. And there are different ways to express love. But in the end, it still worked out. Talking helped, and there was a lot of caressing and lubrication. After
Why does libido disappear after childbirth
