Do you think you should share your sex fantasies with your partner?
What would we do without our erotic imagination? It appears even before the first sexual experience, does not disappear with the advent of old age, which comes regardless of our will, and even visits those who consider it an unacceptable exchange. Sexual fantasies awaken us, give us hope, excite us, and help us achieve orgasm. Ultimately, they make sex more vibrant and exciting.
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Most of our imagined erotic scenes are not performed. Most people never express their deepest dreams. Some share them with sexual partners, others act out their fantasies or greatly regret what they are told.
Should you share sexual fantasies with someone you”re in an ongoing romantic relationship with? It all depends on the nature of these fantasies and the willingness of the person with whom you are breaking up to perceive your revelations unfairly.
When dreams should remain dreams
Sexual fantasies live in the world of human imagination, but sometimes people begin to mistake them for their true desires, without realizing what their true feelings would be if they materialized their dreams.
In one of his articles, the famous American psychologist and writer Michael Castleman gave an example of his friend’s emotional reaction to an erotic fantasy. For years, a man has imagined himself coming home from work, meeting his wife, and being invited into sexual play, wearing only a smile and high heels.
As a result, he told his wife about his secret desires. After some argument about this, the woman unexpectedly agreed to play with her husband. Soon after the conversation, when the gentleman returned home, a surprise awaited him — the materialization of his long-standing erotic dream. Paradoxically, the man could not become properly aroused for sexual intercourse. According to him, he was surprised. Because everything was very exciting, he had long imagined and wanted this, but his penis seemed cut off.
Another example is a common male fantasy — crazy sex with several women at the same time. When some men are able to have an imaginary orgy involving just two women, they realize that they don”t know what to do with their partners or how to calm them down after their own quick orgasm.
The girl imagines a young man who saves her and carries her out of the fire on the 20th floor. Later, as a sign of gratitude, the girl is beautifully handed over to her rescuer in a fire truck. But she would not want to experience such a nightmare in reality. Then, after freeing herself from the fire trap, she continues to have sex.
Sometimes an erotic picture arises, drawn by fantasy. It is better to leave it only in your mental activity. Their implementation may be disappointing, but unfulfilled sexual desire can spark and maintain the fire of your passion for many years.
Read also: What do women and girls think about sex? Myths and reality
There is an opinion in society that for some incomprehensible and strange reason, men, unlike women, constantly think about sex, often “go for sex.”
Advantages and Disadvantages of Frankness
Most people are wary of disclosing erotic fantasies, preferring not to disclose even to very close and long-term sexual partners. However, if you want to feel the reality of your hidden desires, silence will not make them real.
Another benefit of communicating about fantasies is honesty. Some couples make this the basis of their relationship. This applies to sexual ideas as well, as they believe that two people should be completely open with each other. However, this apparent advantage can be questioned, since honesty between a man and a woman in a joint relationship is rarely “absolute”.
About the presenter and sexual fantasies in a couple
Honesty in such cases is more likely to lead to quarrels than to harmonious relationships. The same applies to erotic fantasies, and caution should be exercised when disclosing them. You can never be completely sure how your significant other will react to them. On the one hand, you can fulfill your dreams, but on the other hand, you can ruin your relationship.
You decided to share your fantasy
If you want to talk to your partner about your sexual dreams but aren”t sure they”ll understand them, start with a half-truth. Reveal the parts of your fantasy that are most acceptable to you. For example, don”t cut off your forehead. “I dream of meeting you naked at the door.” Replace them with more easily digestible words. “How about having sex as soon as we get home?” If your partner agrees to this proposal, you can ask for more in the future.
It”s always better to start small. Do you dream of sex outside the home, in public places? Start with passionate kisses and hugs and actively involve your partner. Explain how the passionate desire to have sex in an unusual setting stimulated you. Your partner”s reaction will quickly tell you whether this idea is worth pursuing further.
In most cases, a passionate desire to fulfill a fantasy indicates boredom in bed, with routine and predictable sex. Sometimes, just acting out part of an imagined erotic scenario is enough to provide novelty or satisfaction. One partner can be blindfolded while caressing the other, sex on the kitchen table or in the bathtub, or a foot massage (both options are very effective). Gradually involve your partner in exploring new sensations and surprise them with small erotic surprises, but be careful not to cross a line that your significant other can”t.
Finally, be extremely cautious if you have strong fantasies about group sex or BDSM. Sharing such desires with your partner can cause emotional pain and jeopardize the relationship. Erotic thoughts are sometimes best left where they originate—in the realm of our imagination.
