From hate to love: why do people sleep with those they hate?
How many times have you seen this plot in films? Several characters express intense hatred for each other, exchange insults and cruel jokes, and in the next shot they are passionately undressing each other. This story may seem like fiction. This is because, it would seem, no sane person would have sex with someone he doesn”t like. However, in reality everything turns out to be quite complicated.
Contents of the article:
Sexologists are not surprised by such counterintuitive sexual relationships. Even though our culture views sex and love as sibling relationships, experts know that”s not entirely true. What are the reasons for this strange, intense contact? Let”s try to understand this.
Mutual sympathy is not required
It won”t surprise anyone if for some reason two people who empathize with each other fail to form a relationship and fall in love. However, experts believe that visual attractiveness is not the most important reason for sexual contact, but similarity in temperament is much more important. If the partner is not outwardly attractive, but meets other criteria, sexual contact is quite possible, and sexologists do not find any deviations in this.
Some psychologists give another explanation for this strange contact. According to them, sex with the “ideal” partner, who fully corresponds to our ideas of attractiveness, can lead to self-doubt and even psychological trauma. Yes, yes, all this “she”s too good for me” can become an obstacle to happiness and satisfaction.
There is another argument similar to the previous one. Remember how you felt when you watched a movie that showed great promise but didn”t live up to it? All its shortcomings come to the surface, but I don’t want to think about its advantages, because the high level of expectations led to deep disappointment. On the contrary, one can truly enjoy stumbling upon a good film without expecting anything special from it. In the case of sex, the contradiction between expectations and reality can be even more pronounced, and when an unattractive and uninteresting person suddenly becomes a wonderful lover, all his shortcomings recede into the background, his advantages become obvious, and a strong attachment is formed.
Read also: Platonic love as spiritual pleasure
The theme of love is illustrated in many works, films and music. Talented people give hundreds of different colors to a word and talk about it.
According to other psychologists, people may be attracted to those who have hurt them in the past, and being involved with someone who is unpleasant to them is a kind of Stockholm syndrome, from such relationships one can only expect self-destruction. No matter how paradoxical it may sound, we ourselves can strive for this. Quite a lot has been written about scientific and artistic self-destruction and how, in order to “get to the bottom,” you can have sex with unpleasant or disgusting people. Psychology is a sensitive topic.
We are looking for strong emotions
From hate to love | season 1 | episode 1-8
Who said that friendship between the sexes is not an obstacle? After testing, we start to hate each other, but we meet again regularly and repeat the process. Yes, no one knows how to create problems for ourselves.
Speaking of problems.
It is not surprising that unhealthy sexual relationships based on hatred can cause serious harm to psychological stability. But enough has been said and written on this topic for us to repeat ourselves. It’s worth not just saying, it’s worth raising your head and calmly assessing the consequences of a sudden decision, especially if we’ve already stepped on this rake before.
And there is something important to say here. Hateful but consensual sex is not the same as forced sex. Moreover, by coercion we do not necessarily mean gross violence, psychological pressure and excessive persistence of unattractive partners. If the initiative for such conflictual sex comes from only one person, do not give in to provocations — nothing good will come of it for you.
