How do girls decide about having sex for the first time?
What motivates girls — the desire to immediately begin “adult life”? Fear of scaring your partners with possible access? The desire to deprive them of their virgin status? By reading anonymous stories of ex-girlfriends, we try to find out.
Contents of the article:
Innocence, goodbye!
- Expected.
We dated online and long distance for almost a year. They traded CDs for music and Valentine”s Day cards. There was even sexting, but that year there weren’t even words.
After a year of such communication, this was to be expected. But he was surprised when she admitted to him that she was 21 and still a virgin. He was 27 years old. When he came to my house, sex happened. It was fast and painful.”
- “We wanted to get rid of this status.
We hadn”t even met this man, but I liked him. Somehow he came to me when my parents were not at home (they went to a family therapist). The sex wasn”t very good. There was no pain, but I didn’t get pleasure either. But I was consoled by the fact that I was finally no longer a virgin.
Do I regret that I decided to do this? Yes, I know. He turned out to be that bastard. I am very attached to him after sex. I don’t know why this happened — it was my first time having sex or I didn’t pay attention.”
- It was convenient for him
“I lost my virginity at the age of 27. I spent my entire youth in a convinced Christian position. But by the time I entered university, I suddenly began to realize that I was not years behind my peers, but years. But even after this realization, I was in no hurry to have sex.
I met a friend who came to visit from another city. We kissed all weekend long. I didn”t feel stupid with him, although I was very embarrassed when I was “deceived.”
Then we met again, and I suddenly realized that I was comfortable with both him and her. And in this case, why not do it with him?
That”s how it all happened.”
- I was waiting for something special
I had very little experience with men. Because I decided to myself that I would not have sex until I met someone special, very soon. And so, last year I went for an internship in Edinburgh. There I met a sexy 21 year old Frenchman. Soon we became a couple.
One day, when we were lying and kissing, he took out a condom. I told him that I was a virgin. He replied that he was ready to wait, gave me a condom and said that he would take it out when I was ready for it.
Eventually this happened in my house too. It was a little painful, but comfortable. And he was very attentive and kind.”
“I became interested in sex at the age of 13, but the man I was interested in refused to sleep with me, but admitted that I was very “seductive.” He was 19 years old.
Two years later it finally happened. Then we dated for another year, and he taught me a lot. I only have good memories from him.”
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- “I was waiting for a passionate lover.
He was a charming Australian whom I met at a ski resort — we worked there. He lived with a neighbor and we locked ourselves in the shower.
The sex was very passionate. He picked me up and pushed me against the wall. I was delighted. He didn”t know that he was my first. I”m happy that I was so relaxed and that the first time we had sex went as well as I could have dreamed.
- Tired of being a child.
“I was in a serious relationship in high school, but I gave up sex until I was twenty. I just didn”t feel. old enough? Like I couldn”t handle being a grown woman? Eventually, I got tired of procrastinating. When I felt ready to take this step, I was in Austria for a summer internship.
A few days before leaving home, I decided that an acquaintance who had been flirting with me all summer would be suitable for the role of my first man. I don”t even remember his name. I chose him because I knew I wouldn”t be emotionally attached to him.
We came to his house, drank beer by the pool, and then moved to the sofa. I don”t remember having a good time, but I don”t have any bad memories either. I didn”t feel anything.”
It happened in the dorm during my first year. He was a year younger than me and was my high school skater boyfriend. He was also a virgin. We dated for about ten months.
Everything happened in a matter of minutes. I had seen a lot of teen comedies by then, so I was expecting this. I wanted to look cool, so I said it calmly.
At what stage does sex appear? Satya Das.
- They didn”t even ask me.
We were at his house after school, kissing and suddenly. He was inside me. I didn”t say no. There was no pain. But I was very ashamed that I allowed a man to do this on our third date.
A week later he broke up with me and said we should remain friends. For the next three years I didn”t sleep with anyone.
I was 18 then, now I’m 39, and only recently have I begun to understand what consent and manipulation are. It was just violence.”
- I decided a lot for myself.
It was at his parents” house. This was probably his fourth or fifth attempt at sex. Each time I was in pain and my anxiety grew.
I have never experienced such pain. And my boyfriend was very patient. There was a lot of blood. And a lot of tears. I was so scared and sad to approach my boyfriend after we broke up as kids.”
“I was in a serious relationship with a man who wanted to wait until marriage. Then we broke up and I finally decided to do it with a friend. I trusted him.
We came to his house. He kept asking if I was sure I needed it. He said he really wanted me, but this was a special moment for me and I had to make a conscious decision.
He always entertained me. There was one particularly awkward moment. We spent the rest of the night trying to remove my blood stain from his sheets. There were many other interesting moments. Only with good friends can you survive without shame.
- Everything happened naturally.
I was in Los Angeles on business. As a result, the meeting failed. I wanted to relax and invited my only friend to the bar. I confessed to her that I liked a guy from work, and suddenly we had a date!
In the evening I met him at a bar. It was very easy for us, we chatted a lot, and then I took him to my room. Everything was very natural, and the attraction between us became stronger and stronger.
I didn”t worry about anything. At first I wanted to admit that I was a virgin, but I changed my mind. There was no pain. Then he saw blood stains on the sheets and thought I was on my period. I confessed here.
He was surprised, but acted accordingly. If you hadn’t told me, I wouldn’t have understood,” he admitted. That same night I had sex a second and third time. And then I went home.”
