How to lose your virginity without pain and fear
There are many myths about first sex. The most common of them are as follows. The first penetration is always very painful and accompanied by bleeding. Unfortunately, this often happens to girls, but not entirely.
Contents of the article:
Severe pain in the vagina, anus, or even during oral sex indicates that something is wrong. Find ways to reduce discomfort, relax, and enjoy sex for the first time.
What is virginity?
There is no general definition of virginity. For some people, “losing” it means having vaginal sex for the first time, but for others it means something completely different. This happened because everyone defines sex differently.
Not for everyone it”s not just the insertion of the penis into the vagina. In many cases, sex involves oral and anal stimulation, touching, and fingering—the insertion of a finger into the vagina or anus. Even having fun with adult toys can be considered sex. This is a personal decision for each person.
Getting rid of discomfort
Whatever sexual activity you”re interested in trying, there are several ways to get more pleasure the first time.
- Explore your body.
If you”re not sure what you like about sex, masturbation can help you figure it out. This is a direct path to understanding your own anatomy. For example, if you want to have vaginal sex, insert a finger or an adult toy into your vagina to see what it feels like.
The angle at which the penis or finger enters the vagina is very important. Depending on this, the sensations can be either incredibly pleasant or painful. You can even find the optimal angle for masturbation yourself.
Feel free to explore it yourself. Later, you can tell your partner which touch you like best.
- Discuss the problem with your partner.
During your first time having sex, you can be with anyone—your spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, friend, or even someone you just met. The most important thing for both of you is to communicate honestly. This will help you avoid any problems in bed. Share your fears and doubts with your partner. If they respect you, they will help you overcome them. Building trust will help you enjoy each other.
- Don”t build castles in the air.
Biological men are conditioned to believe they need to last until the end and not experience orgasm for long periods of time. In fact, almost all sexual experiences are normal. It doesn”t necessarily have to last long, especially if it”s your first time.
Perhaps the idea is that you should bring your partner to orgasm or cum yourself. Not everyone is relaxed enough during their first time, and there”s no shame in that!
Being a good sexual partner is a skill that people develop over time, just like driving a car. We can never be perfect at anything. Remember, you couldn”t read before, but now you can read this article with ease.
Both theory and practice can help you grow in the area of sex. Find books and online resources on this topic. You”ll find a lot of useful information.
First-time sex can be wonderful, or it can be terrible. Remember that this experience doesn”t define your future sex life or who you are as a person.
Realistic expectations about sex are very important. Once they are established in your mind, you will feel less pressure from stereotypes.
At some point, especially if you”re nervous, you may feel like you need to act quickly. It”s not worth it! As the saying goes, the slower you go, the further you can get. This saying is perfect for your first sexual experience in any form.
Try moving slowly at first. If you both want to move faster, you can gradually speed up. Gentle movements are especially suitable for vaginal or anal penetration. This ensures that the vaginal or anal muscles don”t become overly tense or “adapted” to what”s happening.
Sometimes you”ll need to slow down to fully experience the moment.
- Make time for foreplay.
Foreplay is a great way to relax. Your body is more responsive during this time, and you experience more pleasure from sex.
Firstly, foreplay is necessary to increase arousal. At this moment, men begin to have an erection, and the woman becomes “wet” — natural lubrication is released from the vagina.
Read also: How to lose anal virginity without pain and worry
The first attempt at anal sex is a truly exciting and very important moment. Too many questions. Be prepared to talk about yours.
For example, during foreplay you might
- Kiss gently or passionately.
- Keep her clothed or naked.
- Talk about sex.
- Watch pornography together, listen to or read erotic stories.
- They rub each other”s clothes.
There are no clear boundaries between foreplay and sex, since sex is different for everyone.
- Use extra lubricant.
If you plan on penetrative sex, stock up on lubricant. Lubrication makes the first experience less painful. Comfort during sex depends on quantity, even among experienced people.
WARNING: Never use oil-based lubricants in combination with condoms. The oil dissolves the latex, making the condom brittle and unprotected.
Vaseline is an old stereotype! Forget about it and buy a water-based lubricant. You can find them in pharmacies, supermarkets or online.
- Try different poses.
You don”t have to stay in a position that”s uncomfortable for you—try something different. Simple positions for first sex include
- Missionary is a classic position.
- Girl on top” — in this position it is useful to control the depth of penetration.
- “Like a dog”;
- 69 is a popular position for oral sex.
Don”t think too much about what a job title is. The only thing that matters is the comfort of both participants.
If you want to try an unusual position to remember your first experience forever, think again. What you will remember most is how uncomfortable these positions were. If you”re new to this, it”s best to stick to simple poses so that everyone can enjoy it.
When you watch sex scenes in movies, it seems like you can only moan in bed. In real life, conversation between partners can make sex better, more interesting and lead to mutual understanding.
Ask your partner how he feels. Here are some things you can say
- Do you like it?
- Is it really that useful?
- Try it.?
If you feel uncomfortable, ask your partner to stop or change their attitude. For example you could say
Oral sex
Be careful not to touch your partner”s genitals with your teeth unless he asks for it.
Gentle kissing, licking and stroking during oral sex are comfortable for both men and women.
If you”re giving a blowjob, don”t immediately try to push your partner”s penis into the back of your throat. This may be uncomfortable and may cause difficulty breathing. Take your time and don”t feel like you have to show off your “skills.”
How to lose your virginity without pain
Vaginal sex
Use lubricant, especially if it is not wet enough. Thus, penetration will be much more comfortable.
If your partner wants to penetrate you with his fingers, make sure his nails are trimmed and his hands are clean. Long nails can easily damage the delicate tissue of the vagina.
Take your time during penetration. Slow, shallow movements in the vagina help relax the muscles.
If you want to use a dildo for sex, try a small toy first. The same applies to fingering. The partner can insert one finger into the vagina first, then, if necessary, more fingers.
Before insertion, place a pillow under your pelvis. For many people, this step increases convenience and enjoyment.
Surely you have heard that during the first injection, the virgin membrane ruptures and bleeds. This is a common myth. For most women, a hole first appears in the virgin membrane. If the vagina is completely blocked, it is a medical condition. In such cases, girls are brought to the doctor during puberty.
If you are prepared but are concerned about blood on the bed, cover the bed with a towel or old blanket.
Anal sex
During anal sex — first time or otherwise — always use lubricant! The anus does not naturally lubricate, and dry insertion can be very painful.
If you want to start with an adult toy, start small. Note: To avoid awkward situations in the emergency room, find special anal sex toys. They have a plug to prevent the anus from “swallowing” a foreign object.
Before your partner inserts his penis into your anus, you need to prepare the muscles with your fingers or a small toy. So you can relax.
Take your time. The tissues of the anus and rectum are very delicate, and sudden movement can cause pain and tearing.
A little more about what’s important
No matter how many times you have sex, you can get sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). They can be transmitted through blood, semen, vaginal secretions or skin-to-skin contact. They can also be transmitted by simply touching the genitals. This is how HPV (human papillomavirus) is transmitted.
The best protection against sexually transmitted infections if you have had recent penetrative sex is condoms. If you plan to perform oral sex, use latex wipes. They are not easy to find, so just cut the condom lengthwise. Unfortunately, this is not 100% protection and you should be screened regularly for sexually transmitted infections.
Handle adult toys with care after use, especially if they are shared with other people.
Dangerous myths. They say you can”t get pregnant after having sex for the first time. This is not true! Pregnancy can occur after vaginal intercourse. To reduce your risk, use birth control. Current tools include.
- Condoms
- Oral contraceptives; or
- Intrauterine contraceptives;
- Contraceptive implants;
- Injectable contraceptives.
Discuss contraceptive methods with your partner and your doctor. Only a specialist, based on test results, can prescribe hormonal contraceptives.
Types of STDs
Discomfort during sex can be caused by several problems with the genitals. Among them:
Some sexually transmitted infections can also cause pain. These include: chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes and HPV.
