Sex online — what is it, what are its advantages and people”s reviews
If you actively use dating apps, you”ve probably come across profiles that say “sex only.” Some people instinctively wrinkle their nose at the very idea of such relationship formats.
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In fact, both men and women use this type of relationship as a way to avoid responsibility.
What does “sex only” really mean?
A sex-only relationship is a relationship in which two people meet and have sex without any romantic feelings or long-term commitment.
Typically, these two people genuinely enjoy spending time together, but are not romantically interested in each other. Of course, there can be no problem with monogamy. Both partners can date and have sex with each other.
Although the term usually means two people having sex, some people simply prefer to hug, kiss, or give each other any type of physical intimacy other than sex.
Some people want to know more about each other”s lives, while others prefer casual conversation and are not interested in learning anything about each other. The main thing is that both partners are on the same page and feel comfortable.
Is the format of such relationships good?
“Any relationship experience is meaningful if it reflects what the person really wants and is comfortable and safe for both partners,” says family therapist Dr. Racine Henry.
The key, she notes, is to be honest with yourself about what you want and why you want a certain type of relationship.
A sex-only relationship can be a great option for some people and completely unacceptable for others. This is best for those who are used to a lack of openness and commitment, and to relationships that “go nowhere.”
It may also be less suitable for those who easily form deep emotional attachments, have difficulty with boundaries, or are prone to jealousy or insecurity in themselves or their partner.
Benefits of sex only
Despite the bad reputation of such relationships, casual intimacy has many benefits.
- Freedom from restrictions.
During such casual intimacy, you can enjoy the benefits of being alone and at the same time have the comfort and companionship (without affection) from your partner. You can date, flirt, experiment, and take the time to figure out what you want in a long-term partner.
Read also: 9 Signs You”re Having Sex With the Wrong Person
You know, it happens: everything seems good to a man in bed. There seems to be a little fear that your friends sometimes express, they say, “You”re lying.”
- Confidence.
If done right, having a physical relationship with someone you trust can be a huge confidence booster. Feeling comfortable (on a casual and friendly level) with your lover promotes sexual exploration, which in turn increases self-esteem.
- No additional effort is required.
Only sex is easy. On the first day, trying to move an already established friendship to another plane does not cause awkwardness. There is already obvious chemistry between you. Otherwise, you wouldn”t be attracted to each other at all.
They don”t feel they owe their bodies, their time, or their energy. When it comes to overt and casual flirting, there is less play. There is more honesty and frankness, but less responsibility and expectations. From the very first day there comes an understanding that everything can end at any moment.
Perhaps the most beautiful part of such a relationship is the lack of serious emotions (and high expectations). When partners focus only on the physical, everything becomes much easier.
- Opportunity to experiment.
Sex only involves certain sexual releases that are difficult to find in other relationships. There is no need to impress each other. They are more open to trying new things and can even be sexually vulnerable.
Disadvantages of sex only relationships
No matter how many advantages there are in “sex only,” there are many pitfalls in this form of relationship.
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- Frustrated hopes.
If your partner is not as perfect as you imagined, you may be disappointed not only in him, but also in yourself. You may have doubts, difficulties, or even disappointment in your ability to make the right choice.
- Emotional fluctuations.
Many of us think we can easily separate the emotional from the physical, but it”s not as easy as it seems. Physical experiences here are inevitably associated with emotions. But emotions are strong, and logic often outweighs them when they act.
Relationship advice in the “sex only” format
Just because there is a risk does not mean that such a relationship cannot be built.
This is the most important part of any relationship, but it becomes especially important when it comes to casual physical relationships. You need to clearly understand your boundaries, both in relationships with yourself and with loved ones.
The two of you need to have a direct conversation about what you need and don”t need. What are your expectations and what sexual defenses do you use in relationships with other people and with each other.
- You must trust each other.
You treat each other in a special way, but that doesn”t mean you don”t need to talk about certain things from time to time. You may find that some things don”t work as expected. Either way, you need to talk openly about this with your partner.
- Talk about feelings.
Emotions exist in one form or another. For example, if one of you has a crush on the other, discuss how best to proceed, whether to stop spending time together, stop dating, or take a break.
This means being honest about your intentions, as well as your boundaries, feelings and expectations. If you both want your new casual intimacy to work, be completely honest with each other.
- There are no expectations.
If either of you begins to expect (or even want) something more long-term from the other, it”s time to take a step back and re-evaluate your boundaries and needs.
