Where does sex go: libido dynamics in marriage and relationships
How do most relationships start? Of course, from candy-bouquet days and unforgettable sex. However, the degree of passion always decreases. After one, two or three months, the frequency of sexual intercourse gradually decreases. Many people, faced with such a situation, begin to feel dissatisfied and blame their partner for everything. Some feel that it is entirely their fault because they are told that they are “no longer sexually attractive to their partner.” However, this is not the most constructive way to solve the problem. At least that’s what Isadora Alman, a professional sexologist, thinks.
Contents of the article:
Surges of libido are possible, but they are short-lived
“Situations vary because in general, couples are likely to have sex much less frequently than they did in the early months of the relationship,” Alman said in an interview. “This, for example, is a forced separation when one of the partners is forced to go on a business trip.” This period is usually followed by a “hot reunion” phase, during which the sexual desire of both partners returns to a high level. However, it is quite normal that after some time sexual desire returns to its previous level. That is why the honeymoon got its name — because it precedes the beginning of real life.
Chasing passion leads nowhere
“Some people constantly move from one lover to another because they want to constantly feel the hot passion of first sex. There are even people who are ready to move from one marriage to another in search of “that” state of passion that lasts a lifetime. But this does not happen and will never happen — except for those very cases of separation and reunion that I spoke about above.
“If you have unrealistic expectations for a relationship, cooling off your initial enthusiasm can lead to great disappointment. Passion should not be the motivating factor that keeps couples together. In this case, people will always be unhappy, no matter how long the next relationship lasts or how often they change partners,” explains Isadora.
Read also: Marriage without sex — will such a relationship work?
A marriage without intimacy can look anything from disappointment to complete devastation, from peace and joy to hidden negativity. However, when
Much to the chagrin of romantics, maintaining passion requires a lot of effort, regardless of the length of the relationship. Passion requires an element of novelty and surprise. This is not something that remains aside as partners get to know each other better. It also means getting used to the other person”s body and his or her sexual style.
No sex in a relationship. Why? psychology of relationships.
Working on your relationship will help resolve the problem.
People ask me — what happens when hot sex leaves a relationship? I usually always tell them that they should work on making their next sexual experience new and different. You can change the algorithm of the action itself, the place and method of sex.
Consider psychological factors
In addition, Armand emphasizes that a lack of intimacy may indicate a disturbance in the relationship. “It also happens that the reasons for the lack of intimacy are purely psychological. For example, the wife does not want her husband because of a lack of attention on his part and because of emotional separation. Often the reason for the coldness is absolutely non-trivial for the partners themselves. For example, the family lives in the parental home; in addition to the spouses, the wife’s mother, brothers and sisters live there. She is surprised why her husband stopped having sex with her; she is surprised that he stopped having sex with her. Here psychological “castration” occurs — when in fact the brothers take the place of the husband and the father (and sometimes the empowered mother). Therefore, a more detailed view of things may be required in this regard. “We often work with psychologists.”
At the end of Isadora, Armand comes to the conclusion that. This is a very difficult and complex task. It”s about building relationships. However, this is not the case when both partners take responsibility and begin to work on bringing newness to the relationship. It is impossible for one of the couple to work day and night while the other passively watches how he can entertain him.”
Why does the penis disappear = sexual desire? Cheerful women and men|sexual problems [Secret Center].
