It”s Proven: First Impressions on Dates Still Don”t Lead to Proposals
Many people worry about the impression they”ll make on a first date. They feel like their new acquaintances begin judging them from the very first meeting, making it virtually impossible to change their initial general opinion. As a result, people begin to make every effort to present themselves in the best possible light to their new partner. However, this often doesn”t help. On the contrary, it can make matters worse. Psychologists now believe that first impressions aren”t as important as previously thought.
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Expert Opinion and Illustrative Example
Relationship expert Jeremy Nicholson says, “We forget important parts of the psyche, like the unconscious.” People spend most of their lives making choices based on unconscious attitudes, tendencies, and desires, not on the factors and cues they receive from the environment. For example, a woman may go to great lengths to please a man she”s interested in. But if he doesn”t have any unconscious cues about her, he views her as nothing more than a sex object. Yes, you can spend the night with this woman. Two people maximum. But you can”t live your whole life and die in the same bed.” These statements may seem subjective. However, they are supported by several studies.
Research on the Topic
In 2005, researcher P. Johanson conducted a clever experiment with his partners. First, a man and a woman participating in a test were asked to choose a pair of more attractive female faces. Then, the subjects were given these photographs and asked to explain why they found this person more attractive. The problem was that some subjects were given photographs of other people whom they had not chosen.
Repeat results, which were little different from those obtained previously
Initially, the researchers determined that the group of captive subjects wasn”t paying much attention. In fact, they couldn”t distinguish the photograph they”d chosen from another photo. Subjects began demonstrating why they liked a particular person, even though they”d never seen that particular photo. Scientists call this phenomenon “selection blindness.”
Read also: 7 Unexpected Questions for a First Date Knowing About Every Person first dates are intimidating for many people. Indeed, there”s always the risk of making an impression on a stranger. But during a first meeting, you.
It was decided to repeat the experiment in 2008 and 2010. This allowed for a larger sample. However, it turned out that the problem wasn”t with the participants or their concentration levels. In those studies, only a small number of subjects noticed the alternative.
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What conclusions follow from all this?
The conclusion was obvious. A person”s first preference isn”t as important as it seems. People try to justify their decisions. Once they”ve made a choice, they later try to embellish their lot and make themselves more attractive in their own eyes.
What does all this mean for your personal life?
In the early stages of a relationship, explains Jeremy, “you don”t need to worry too much about what your partner thinks of you or what they like.” Persuade them to do something small, like go on another movie date with you. Convince them of your charm—but to the best of your ability. And your new acquaintance”s subconscious will convince them of the right choice. It doesn”t even require any effort.”
So for many, this new discovery can be truly liberating. After all, we always pay too much attention to how we look and what to do on a first date. From a very early age, we”ve been told that we”ll never have the opportunity to make a first impression. But in reality, it”s far less dramatic than is commonly believed.
A word of caution
Nicholson also emphasizes that this effect should only be used for non-critical decisions. There”s no need to convince someone to marry you if you”re clearly not right for them. The more serious the decision, the greater the dissonance. And it”s even harder for people to convince themselves of the right choice. Therefore, in any case, at least in serious matters, don”t put pressure on your partner.
