Basic qualities that a dominant in BDSM should have
BDSM relationships are unique in that one partner is dominant and the other is submissive, but it is still a relationship and should include caring, respect. Their gender implies some disrespect, but it is still a form of entertainment and not a depiction of their lives.
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There are many questions asked by people outside the BDSM world. They are interested in the behavior of the dominant in everyday life, what he likes and how he expresses his love. If you are looking for a dominant partner, you need to know what traits the “right” dominant partner has.
Below are some characteristic features of such people, substantiated by psychologists. If your partner does not have these traits, it is better to find a new life partner for yourself.
They must respect their partner
Sex dominants are used to retain “weaker” partners at will. During sex, they do what they want and how they want (but with the prior consent of the other party). However, when the thirst for power and order manifests itself in real life, this is abnormal and may indicate a mental disorder.
If you play the role of a submissive in role play and continue to be submissive outside the bedroom, run. Such a relationship will not lead to anything good.
Both partners must respect each other and try to reach a compromise. Find someone who respects you and doesn”t just dominate and give you orders.
Respect for personal boundaries is paramount
The fact that a person has acquired the role of a dominant partner does not mean that he can do everything voluntarily. If a partner spits on one of the main commandments of BDSM enhancement (everyone must agree), then most likely he is not a fan of dominance in bed and experiences a craving for power, which is expressed in such an unhealthy form.
Set boundaries that cannot be crossed. For a dominant person, this should be a kind of law. If your violation of personal rights is an isolated case, do not rush to break off the relationship.
Talk calmly about how important it is for you to feel safe. Perhaps the misbehavior was committed in a state of uncontrollable excitement.
It”s another matter if this happens systematically. If your partner is interested in you more than you can give him, it is better to end the relationship. It looks like violence. Do you need it? In addition, crossing the border can cause physical or psychological trauma that can haunt you for the rest of your life. Respect yourself and don”t put your partner”s happiness above your own.
Read also: Myths about BDSM that you should stop believing
The famous film series “50 Shades of Gray” brought attention to BDSM and the various sexual practices associated with this subculture. However, to this day.
Recklessness is the main enemy of dominants
Start with the idea that BDSM is caused by relationships just like any other. They have more passion and rigor. If you”ve just started dating your partner and don”t fully understand his sexual preferences, introduce adult toys gradually so as not to scare him away.
Perhaps a person simply has prejudices that need to be carefully eliminated. First, sex may involve handcuffs or small whips. Only after your partner has adapted to these toys can you move on to new, more serious little things.
Sergey Savelyev
They must always sharpen their skills
Sounds like a line on a resume, but it”s not. Any art requires constant development. BDSM is also an art. It is very important not to dwell on the achieved results, but to constantly read informative literature and, if possible, engage in practice. If there is no dominance, then there will be no submission. Such a BDSM axiom exists.
Agree, such sex is very rare from a physical and mental point of view. The dominant, without learning the necessary techniques and methods of handling toys, can, through his ignorance, cause moral or physical harm to the subordinate.
If you notice that your partner is not trying to develop, your sexual relationship is doomed. Talk to him about this topic or look for a new partner. We assure you, this will not end well.
Maintaining safety in all aspects
This type of relationship involves more than simply establishing a dominant position and granting them power. The dominant is also a protector, committed to the safety of their subordinates, both in and out of bed. Compassion is where true strength manifests itself.
We hope these recommendations will be insightful, and you”ll now know what to look for when searching for a partner. These relationships are generally no different from those in which mutual respect, support, kindness, and safety are priorities.
