BDSM dating: who needs it and where to find a partner, safety and rules
Some may be surprised to learn that BDSM dating is very common today. And it”s not that people watched the movie “50 Shades of Gray.” BDSM is a whole philosophy and way of building relationships.
Contents of the article:
What is BDSM?
And yet, what is BDSM? Interestingly, the very common abbreviation has actually been shortened significantly, and the full name is BDSM. The literal translation goes like this. Bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, masochism. It may seem simple, but in fact everything is very simple, and those who practice BDSM dating probably know that it is not so much painful as it is pleasant. Some practices that are not at all normal are sexual and are very widely used today.
The most important thing in such a relationship is that the man and woman are only capable of each other”s feelings, desires and behaviors, such as humiliation, dominance, use of sex toys, imprisonment in chains, imprisonment in skin, etc., and all this is mutual. Consent of partners.
People who want to have a BDSM date don”t always want something very gross and gruesome. Sometimes they just want a partner who can fulfill their secret desires, such as slapping, biting and restraining force, as well as the use of handcuffs during sexual play. Not all women and men agree with this. Some are very gender conservative and don”t want to experiment. For those who cannot find a partner, BDSM services are thriving.
How do men and women feel about BDSM?
Public opinion knows no boundaries. No one is open and truthful, but many people pour their hearts out on a BDSM forum. For example, someone speaks very negatively about this game:
- “Are you crazy, how did you do this yourself?”
- “This is not normal!” Who in their right mind wants to be humiliated and beaten?”
But some behave completely calmly.
- I would never try it myself. At least not to an expert who puts you down in a way that seems a little unnoticeable. With my beloved, I’m ready to try only the simplest things — tying up, spanking — I don’t see anything wrong with that. This is a game.”
Psychologists believe that even the most notorious BDSM shows are actually afraid of pain and agree to such torture for unknown reasons. Some people want to test the limits of their capabilities, but in this way others forget about life”s troubles, and still others experience unhealthy pleasure from pain.
Scenarios of intimate play
As in regular sex, in BDSM there are many different roles and images that partners can experiment with during erotic games. However, the most important are the roles of “low” and “high” or vice versa. One person dominates and the other suppresses.
According to one of the BDSM dating scenarios, the suppressed person becomes a victim of something. For example, she plays the role of a submissive or housekeeper and obeys her master. The lower ones resist, scream and even break out, but all this is part of the game.
The main rule that lovers of this type of sex know is not to react to your partner’s screams or even the word “no,” as this can be a sign of pleasure. In order for a man or woman to actually stop, they must say a pre-selected code word. It could be anything, such as “wave”, “red”, “book” or anything else that is not related to sex.
People who are just beginning to practice BDSM relationships should understand that phrases such as “what are you doing, stop now” do not force the partner to stop any behavior, but only to give up. If it’s very painful, if the code word suddenly pops up in your head, you can start shouting other similar words instead of sexual themes. The best option is the name of the color — red or orange.
Shameful thing?
According to psychologists and sex scientists, it is important that people entering BDSM are fully aware of what they are signing up for and are not ashamed of their desires.
The main thing is not to do anything illegal, but to respect the feelings of your partner and fulfill all the obligations given to each other.
It is interesting to note that many people who practice this type of sex prefer to get to the scene in the dark and wear a hood almost all over their face so that no one recognizes them.
Such behavior may indicate self-doubt and the inadequacy of one’s own feelings, pleasures and desires.
People can”t completely control their sexual preferences. This is because they develop over more than a year and are influenced by many different factors. There”s absolutely no shame in perceiving BDSM as play and a specific, abnormal experience. It”s a different matter when a person is overwhelmed by thoughts of hurting someone. In this case, it”s worth at least visiting a psychologist for a conversation and consultation.
Read also: Safety Rules on BDSM Dating Sites
Until recently, people had no opportunity to meet people who shared their interest in sex. Judge for yourself: is it possible to meet people who enjoy it?
Public opinion
Opinions are divided on the question of whether or not you want BDSM. Many ask, “At least you understand that this isn”t entirely normal?” Proponents of this type of sex say that those who criticize BDSM are no better than homophobes who say bad things about other men and women simply because they encounter something they not only don”t understand themselves, but don”t even want to understand.
After the release of the book and film “Fifty Shades of Grey,” people began to take a more relaxed attitude toward BDSM, and some wanted to replicate it with their partners. The problem is that the films presented these games in a beautiful, glamorous way. Sexual games aren”t always painful or humiliating. Those who practice this type of sex understand that it”s more about pleasure and complete trust between partners.
Safety During Sexual Play
Safety during sex play
At the same time, the level of trust between partners is at its highest; each understands the feelings and desires of the other and respects both initiative and refusal.
Is it all for the thrill?
The first very obvious reason why people try to experience such an unusual feeling is the search for something new and spicy. People with morally diligent and demanding bosses almost always “abandon” themselves in bed and give themselves completely and completely, allowing their partner to take control of the situation.
All this for the thrill?
BDSM is, first of all, complete relaxation, shifting responsibility to the partner. However, although it may seem that only self-confident, free and liberated people play such games, this is absolutely not the case.
In most cases, partners for BDSM dating are looking for precisely those people who need to mentally surrender to another person so as not to make any decisions for at least an hour or two. Interestingly, those who practice such games are often not even married couples. They pay great attention to protection issues because having a child is not part of their partner”s plans. Women don”t have to worry at all that a man might decide to “accidentally” end things at that very moment or damage the condom.
What should true BDSM connoisseurs play?
To be fair, the games that attract BDSM shows can have a real impact on ordinary people not privy to the world of leather scoops and handcuffs.
What should true BDSM connoisseurs play?
There are also more serious options when clothespins are attached to soft places, but there are also ropes tied to the teeth of a man or woman playing the role of a submissive. If at any point your partner decides to lower the rope, the laundry will suddenly jump out, and this is a very unpleasant sensation. However, it is worth noting that no one is forcing anyone to play such games. Everything is done only on the basis of consensus.
More delicate types of play include stroking using feathers, whips and brushes. Worms can be sharp and unexpected, but they are definitely not painful.
A popular technology in the game is to link the partner”s affection to his eyes. At the same time, all sensations are heightened again and again, the mind is working at its limit, and the simplest touch excites and excites.
Ice play is inferior when the ice is rubbed across bare skin and rubbed over the navel, buttocks and breasts. You can also place the cube in your mouth and then lovingly run the cold man or woman across your lips and tongue.
For penetration, you can use various household items, for example, an ice-cold penis made from plain water and a condom, but not all girls like such sensations. The other is a bubble film penis for packaging. The film is rolled into a very tight roll of the desired size, and a condom is placed on top of it.
To keep partners on their toes, special toys may have a box of lying punishments. Whatever the shortcomings, the toys got to work.
How dangerous can BDSM dating be?
For the dominant, the danger is practically zero, since he controls intimacy and literally takes everything into his own hands. There are still some dangers for the subordinate, such as not being understood correctly.
How dangerous can BDSM dating be?
In the most critical moments, it is very easy to forget about the safe word and not take the cries of “wait” and “ouch” seriously because your partner is part of BDSM.
In addition, some people are not entirely sure what awaits them after reading the theory. In dreams, everything looks as beautiful as in the movies, but in reality everything is completely different. Someone can be very scared by the same icy phallic homemade toy. It is very important that the submissive can express his point of view and reject what he considers unacceptable to him. If the partner is too aggressive, the other partner will agree to be tested or humiliated, not fully understanding what awaits him.
An important task for a dominant is to fully understand what his partner expects from him. The submissive must also be willing to say the password and stop immediately, even if he is in the middle of a party. A person who has taken on the role of a dominant bears great responsibility for everything that happens. He must be sure that he will not cause irreparable harm to his partner or do anything that he will later regret.
BDSM is a very demanding pleasure, and this type of sex is not for everyone. Couples whose relationship has cooled can try just one element or choose from a variety of games only those that really attract.
Bdsm, dating, find
Bdsm, dating, find
