BDSM for Dummies: Sex Toys and Basic Rules from Scratch
It”s hard to imagine anyone who hasn”t heard of “Fifty Shades of Grey.” It”s one of the greatest trilogies of all time. It describes the garden of relationships between young Anastasia Steele and a young business magnate named Christian Grey.
Contents of the article:
BDSM as a way to add new flavor to sex
What makes these books so appealing to women of all ages? They are based on the idea of a man tying up his partner and allowing her to follow her sexual desires. Of course, all of this runs counter to feminist ideas. But despite all the horror stories you hear about BDSM, a little sadomasochism can definitely spice up a normal sex life. And one of the easiest ways to add it to your repertoire is by setting boundaries.
It”s estimated that approximately 1 in 5 couples practice BDSM in some form. Meanwhile, 1 in 20 couples engage in very serious sadomasochistic play. In other words, this genre is more common than you might expect.
Bondage and BDSM for Beginners: What You Need to Know
The most important thing to discuss before starting is safety. You should maintain the same approach in this regard. For example, if you want to tie up your partner, and they only want a blindfold, the idea of tying up should be ruled out immediately. Trust and mutual respect are the cornerstones of BDSM.
Furthermore, it”s important to choose a safe word in advance. If at any point the practice becomes too intense for one of the partners, this ensures an immediate end to the process. It”s best if the stop sign doesn”t have anything to do with sexual language. For example, words like “club” or “tangerine” would be appropriate.
BDSM Toys: Where to Start?
Beginners aren”t recommended to immediately purchase giant whips, full-face masks, and other advanced devices.
Read also: BDSM Sex and Bondage Positions Worth Trying
Have you always wanted to try something BDSM, but are afraid and don”t know where to start? Yes, and accessories from sex shops are expensive anyway. This isn”t it.
Start with fluffy handcuffs, a blindfold, and regular rope. There are also specialized kits for beginners. If you start with simpler and more playful toys, the process of becoming familiar with and getting used to BDSM will be much more effective.
For the first one or two sessions, you can simply experiment with the restraints and find your individual comfort level. Pay attention to your preferences — whether you want to communicate more or dominate your partner. Let him know everything you think and feel.
Gags and Clamps
Devices suitable for beginners are also gags. They allow you to silence your partner (yes, sometimes you want to do this in everyday life, but, unfortunately, gags are only intended for BDSM sex). When using them, you must specify a special signal or hand gesture that will stop the session. For example, you can place a bell next to the relevant partner so that they can call them at any time.
You can also use various clamps or clamps. It is better to use those sold in professional stores. Professional accessories are designed in such a way that, when used correctly, they do not cause physical harm.
Role-Playing
Role-playing can be added to BDSM. There should be two characters, dominant and submissive. For example, teacher and student, doctor and patient, policeman and judge. It is important that each partner feels comfortable in their chosen role. For example, there is no need to give a woman a dominant role if this is not entirely acceptable to her.
Girls are especially afraid that male dominance will negatively affect other relationships, in addition to the sexual sphere. However, in most cases these fears are unfounded. BDSM is strictly sexual and should not extend beyond the bedroom. If a man wants to dominate his girlfriend in real life, then this situation is a reason to consult a psychotherapist. Such a person needs to work on his personal problems.
When followed properly, BDSM can build trust in couples and allow them to discover new sexual possibilities that they may not have known existed.
