Stop doing this! 6 tips from a psychologist on how to stop nagging your husband
Why is constant mooing so destructive to relationships, and why is it because love blossoms instead of the desire to “see.”
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“i think he asked me to take out the trash,” “I told him I would quit smoking!” “, “I shouldn”t have bought those tomatoes.”
Sound familiar? Most likely. Once to create some kind of disseminated comments, now the list of NIT collectors is as large as the number of tomatoes purchased by the same mistaken person. Mercy Pregalman, a leading marriage and relationship counselor, says: “This pattern of behavior is not only dishonest, it destroys love.
These 6 tips will help you get rid of the habit of nagging
- You are wrong, you are angry.
Putting pressure on your partner is irrational. Says Robert Myers, psychologist, author of books on addiction and self-development.
“While anger may be justified and caused by serious concerns — perhaps your husband doesn”t want to quit smoking or your girlfriend has started drinking again — you need to understand that Thor won”t help.
People get upset when other people engage in negative activities for a long time, be it gambling or drugs. Because they feel like they can”t stop it, they increase the flow of negative energy directed at someone else,” Myers explains. Our research shows that this is exactly the opposite of what should be done.”
- Focus on the positive.
What are the most effective methods for changing human behavior? Positive reinforcement, says Myers. He believes that non-family support is a powerful tool for change. Want to find out from your partner how late he got home? You can”t do that. It”s better to call a friend and talk to him. Later, when you”ve calmed down and your partner is receptive to conversation, after you”ve had dinner, laughed and talked, tell him how much you miss this evening. Come to love, not to anger. Therefore, you are more likely to melt his heart than to evoke a quick, shrill temper.
Read also: 5 simple tips on what to do if a guy doesn’t text first
Why did he suddenly stop texting? Do you think it”s not worth responding to messages, or is he avoiding you? Should you write to him again? Or you.
“Honey, please clear the crumbs from the table when you finish your sandwich” is a request. “Well, don”t forget to clean up the crumbs!” — And it”s annoying because your request wasn”t fulfilled. However, those who targeted the attack do not understand why these crumbs caused such an emotional outburst.
“If after a while the request is not heard, ask the question: why? The idea that you are unloved and that your partner is an option of neglect begins to become obvious. And it is: “I don”t trust you” or “I don”t trust you. I don”t trust you” or “you don”t respect what I say,”” explains Marzi Pregulman.
How not to nag your husband? how to learn not to make claims?
- To those who have “seen it”: just do it!
A small note for those who find the guilty: the blame can be divided into two parts. If you”re angry that your partner won”t stop pointing at your scattered wet towels after a shower, here”s a great solution. Here”s what the experts say. Just do it,” Pregleman says. “I mean, what”s the point of fighting and causing disharmony in the house if it only takes a few minutes?”
- To the “persistent”: leave it.
Pregulman offers similar practical advice to troublemakers. Instead of getting offended and ruining each other”s mood with wet towels, pick them up and start your day.
If your family has more fights and petty arguments than laughter and conversation, take a step forward. Have fun together. Forget about wet towels, crumbs and grievances. Reunite as two loving hearts, not as roommates. Your shared positive feelings and good memories associated with each other are the best investment in your future together. This will definitely bear fruit in less pleasant moments that the couple may have.
Building a bank of positive emotions is important for relationships, says Pregleman. We compare it to a bank account. If you have a lot of money, withdrawing one or two dollars is not a significant loss. But if the bank is empty, the withdrawal of every dollar really makes a difference.”
