Winter Vacation: When to Incorporate BDSM into Regular Sex
Fall and winter are the most beautiful times of the year, no matter what anyone says. The golden autumn inspiration seamlessly transitions into the New Year”s spirit. This time of year is filled with holidays. Add a little novelty to your sex life, if not now!
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Some advice on this topic comes from sexologist Laura McGuire from Houston, USA. I”m often asked how to incorporate a little BDSM into traditional sex. One of the most convenient times of year to realize such fantasies is during vacations or school holidays. No need to rush around with household chores. You also want to be home all fall and winter. Why not spice things up with new habits? Naturally, don”t forget about your partner”s consent, safe words, and other BDSM rules.
Sensory Diversity
Laura then makes her first recommendation. “I always advise clients to try something simple first. For example, influencing their partner”s body temperature. “No one”s telling you to immediately put on a leather Batman suit and get lashed ten times. Start with the basics.”
There are certain substances that can influence how our bodies feel. Cinnamon, for example, has a warming effect. Peppermint, on the contrary, has a cooling effect. Peppermint and cinnamon are also used in aromatherapy. They have good relaxing properties.
For example, you can massage your partner with peppermint oil. Or drink a cup of cinnamon tea and lick the most sensitive parts of your partner”s body. However, note that pure warming or cooling substances should not be used on the genital area. This can be irritating,” McGuire continues.
“Another way to vary sensory perception is to use wax candles with a low melting point.” The sensations from such candles can range from a relaxing warmth to a scorching heat.
Use special candles strictly according to safety regulations and be aware of all possible risks.
Give a Little Spanking
Few people don”t like this kind of behavior, whether you prefer a submissive or dominant role. “You can start with traditional flip-flops,” says Laura. Create your own rules for your partner to follow. For example, do not eat cake before dinner. Otherwise, the slave will be “punished” sexually in the future. Light flip-flops can be done either by hand or with the help of a specially purchased whip.
Read also: BDSM sex and bondage positions worth trying
Have you always wanted to try something BDSM, but are afraid and don”t know where to start? Yes, and accessories from a sex shop are expensive anyway. It”s not.
Laura then issues several warnings. If you decide to practice spanking, remember that you cannot use ordinary objects for this. Some people mistakenly use kitchen utensils to do this, but this may result in injury to your partner. Don”t forget to remove jewelry from your hands. Also don”t forget about preheating. Start with light tapping. Only after the skin has warmed up can it be slightly strengthened.
Also remember that you need to come up with a specific reason for the “punishment”. For example, you told your partner not to eat the same dessert, and then you tensed up to the limit. But if your partner is “punished” for ordinary misdeeds in everyday life, you yourself will not realize how hierarchical the relationship is established in your couple.
And this transition from the BDSM gender area into real life is unlikely to benefit your relationship.”
Sex 18+
Bondage
One of the most common sexual fantasies is being restrained. It is very exciting that neither of you has complete control over your partner and cannot move freely. BDSM is also something Laura mentions when it comes to basic safety techniques. “You must remember the basic rules so as not to harm your partner.
When gluing it, do not forget about the safety of blood circulation — in any case, there should be too much tape or rope to compress the blood vessels. If the tied partner feels numbness, tingling or their skin turns pale, they should stop immediately. And, of course, remember the need to obtain your partner’s consent to mandatory practices.”
Role-Playing
Laura continues: “A good idea for a vacation is to start playing a game.” For example, everyone loved playing doctor as a child. As an adult, this fantasy remains one of the most captivating. You can put on a regular doctor”s coat and instantly transform into a seductive nurse or a stern gynecologist.”
“It all depends on your imagination. The main safety rule is to avoid using these drugs or instruments. Also, don”t disrespect your partner.” “This can remind you of real-life situations and ruin your sexual mood,” the sexologist concludes her interview.
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