Are you unlucky in love? A psychologist talks about the reasons
The heart breaks into pieces again, and another relationship ends forever. Are you ready to believe in the evil eye, damage and generational curses because you are chronically unlucky? But you and I should look at our relationships with men from a completely different angle.
Contents of the article:
Tell me about mom and dad
Yes, this is exactly where every psychologist starts. We analyze the relationship between your parents – the relationship between you and them. And, as a rule, we find that you didn’t like them very much. No, of course, you are doing the opposite. But this “opposite” is external and conscious. And the subconscious plays another joke on you.
Do you think that you are not inclined to feel sorry for your man? Do you justify his delay on the date by saying that he works very hard? Does this mean that you were left without gifts or flowers at an important moment for you? No, of course not, men don’t sell horses for scrap. But in families where fathers drink very often, girls get used to the fact that the other half feels sorry for them. It is like a magnet that attracts an unresponsible person. It is very convenient for a wife and mother to be together in close proximity to each other. And the girls again understand that all plans for a bright future together are a myth. They are used openly. Relationships are falling apart. Have you ever had any luck again? No. This is already a common choice.
On the contrary, it is convenient. I had an ideal family. My mother is a teacher and my father is a leader. My client, a successful businesswoman, sighs. Only from an early age did the girl grow up with an acute lack of self-acceptance. She had to cope with her parents’ expectations and be the best at everything. Indeed, an ideal family should have only uniquely good children. My father spent little time on her and not on his work! Basically, he paid attention when she was encouraged and noted for some merit.
And a woman with such confidence and self-sufficiency is always looking for men who will get her into trouble, live at her expense and plunge her into difficult times. Yes, because she’s used to it. They love one thing and cannot give anything else. And if a person appears on the horizon and shows his love and care “just like that,” she, like the bottom, immediately pays attention to him. And it’s very disappointing.
Here’s another example. As a teenager, the girl experienced a painful divorce from her parents. The father shamed the mother and did not slander her goodness. And this despite the fact that the man himself created a second family by deception. The girl completely sided with her mother.
And now there are constant problems in her personal life. She chose the man she married. The painful breaks continue. At the reception, an epiphany occurs: she doesn’t really trust men and is afraid to let them close to her. Subconsciously, she is convinced that she will be betrayed anyway. That’s why married men are even frank with her. And perhaps she wants them to be the ones who betray others, rather than the ones who are betrayed?
In fact, such scenarios can be written endlessly. The only conclusion that can be drawn is that one should try to resolve personal issues from the parental relationship.
Tell me where and what do you live for?
Of course you deserve a prince. But what’s nice is that he won’t check your industrial area on the outskirts of the city. And the men in the neighborhood with their bottles of cheap beer are not trying to create strong families and make money in their homes in Miami. They don’t need it, they don’t know how to do it, they aren’t taught.
What should they do? Make an honest list of the qualities your ideal man should have. But you don’t need “a car, an apartment, a cottage, a yacht, a million dollars.” You can just go to a prostitute and meet just such a man. Only he took drugs and beat you half to death. We talk about what you are truly grateful for. The ability to earn money and hard work do not come in the form of a million from your parents. Are you willing to bend over backwards for a new car or is it more important for you not to work with constant lightning?
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Then you analyze where you can meet such people? In a good sports club, at an exhibition or in a volunteer organization. Don’t sit at home in front of the TV and don’t stare at a series about another Cinderella. It is better to watch information on social networks and take part in bike rides or environmental events. Typically, 15-30% of them are unmarried.
Tell me, what are you ready for?
“I really want a girl,” the client shares her experience. “I dream of returning home to my loving family!” We’ve only been talking for an hour, but her phone is constantly vibrating with messages and calls. She cannot choose the time of the next meeting. She has work, fitness, then a manicure, then gatherings with friends. This is a trip to the shops. He calms down. Do you understand? Cannot be translated. But then I agreed with the master to change the tap.
Why are you unlucky in love? We find out the reasons with psychologist Danila Jochim. psychology of relationships.
Possibly if you are placed under guardianship. Perhaps you have experienced a relationship with an insecure person. You may have a thousand other reasons why your personal freedom is so important to you. But in the eyes of society you are wrong. We should want to date, love, start a family, bake pies in the kitchen. Thus, subconsciously you choose a man whom you tend not to keep in your life. Therefore, when he leaves, tell others on a rational level: I wanted this and that, we just didn’t take me.
Why would that be? Be honest with yourself about whether you are ready for a relationship. This is especially true for women who have their own work, hobbies and habits. Are you ready to spend your energy and time on someone else? After all, he has his own schedule and his own habits; why should you waste your time on someone else?
One of my clients made a list of things that she was willing to sacrifice immediately after her appointment, but did not do so. As a result, she herself came to the conclusion that her guest’s marriage was ideal for her. And yes, she doesn’t want children. He doesn’t need them. No matter how wrong it may sound, for women with our mentality it sounds wildly wrong. When we finished treatment, she had a man. He was attracted by such a rational approach and respect for the other partner’s time. Over time, they decided to buy joint property and live under the same roof. But at the same time, they did not stop devoting a lot of their personal time to each other. This is a blessing for them. And for some, such a scenario will be a real nightmare.
There is also the opposite option. The girl is ready to give everything. In the truest sense of the word, including myself. He dissolves into his partner. But men don’t need a third hand. They need a person. “I’m everything to him, and he.” “- says the girl and cries bitter tears. The image of a constant victim is so familiar that it is impossible to get rid of it. Constant hysterics, bitter tears and scandals. Men again do not live up to expectations and are tired of complete control and imposition.
Why do some people prefer the victim image? Because he once helped them. Or they are used to being treated this way. Typically, the victim feels guilty and tries to manipulate others. And who always wants to be guilty? Therefore, by joining forces, we have come to the conclusion that you are once again let off the hook. And a strong belief that you are unlucky with ungrateful people.
What conclusion can be drawn from all this?
Girls are almost always unlucky in love.
- Many times they choose potentially unsuitable people because they have not resolved their internal problems.
- They are not honest with themselves and are afraid to admit what they really need. This is because it may not meet the social standards of the society.
- They have no idea where they can find a suitable partner or do not try to change their usual environment, hoping for a miracle and being disappointed in those who are nearby.
Of course, you want to find a person who can solve everything at once and better understand your needs. Thus, Fortune Tellers, Clairvoyants and Charlatans touch on the topic of relationships every year. The revision journey can be challenging. Moreover, many women who read these articles will initially exclaim “nonsense.” After all, denial is our psyche’s best defense and our best defense against painful experiences. But if you are the one who is ready to change your life for the better, solve your problems through the prism of written material and wait for our further publications.
