Features of the first wedding night and intimate life in Rus’
With baptism and the formation of the Orthodox Church, Russian customs and way of life underwent a number of changes. This was especially true for attitudes towards first sexual contacts. Yes, in some villages the tradition of “test” connection is still preserved.
However, church doctrine increasingly instructs people to choose one sexual partner for life. And when it became much easier for men to hide their adventures, they began to return to the woman in order to preserve her virginity until the wedding night.
Since the first sexual intercourse was to take place during the wedding, the date was carefully chosen. After all, making love was not allowed during fasting and many church holidays. In this case, the father can refuse the marriage.
The first connection was called the “basement”. In fact, many people often lived in the hut at the same time, and the young man’s bed was temporarily located in another cool place – the basement of the house, closet or barn. The last role here was not fulfilled by the “beds”.
These could be close relatives or matchmakers. They performed many rituals: amulets against rot, bundles or bags of flour for wealth, and many attractive herbs for health. In addition, ritual logs were always stacked under the bed. This was supposed to help the young animals get healthy offspring.
Before the young man could lie down on the bed, the friend had to disperse the bed with a whip or rod to remove the evil spirits. They would then generously give a bed to anyone who tried to make the best of it. Then the wife was treated to chicken and bread – a ritual dish symbolizing fertility.
In addition, before the sexual act itself, different settlements had their own rituals. Someone’s wife had to take off her husband’s boots, which signified modesty. In other villages, the husband had to untie his wife’s braids or remove her headdress, which meant her transition to another status. Usually, after their wedding night, women began to wear hairstyles and jewelry that were different from the girls’ hairstyles and jewelry.
There was often a guard at the door. According to this idea, his job was to protect young people from the forces of evil. However, in most cases, he spied on the process in order to inform the guests that an intimate relationship had occurred between them. However, the guests themselves (especially the groom’s side) often remained at the door to eavesdrop. Sometimes, at the request of the parents, the bed made a creaking sound so that everyone could hear that the process was in progress.
Read also: Marriage by accident or ordinary “family wars”
if you stand a little near the wedding palace, you will see that there are more pregnant brides than those who do not have an “obvious belly”. However, the topic.
The most important part of the ceremony was the entry of guards or numerous guests into the basement after the young man had sex. They had to get his wife’s freshly sewn shirt with traces of blood on it. Thus, the girl’s honesty was proven. And other traces of liquid indicated that the groom was most likely the father of the family. Unfortunately, there were no signs of loss of virginity. The woman and her family were publicly disgraced as impostors, and the matchmaker was usually beaten and had a collar placed around her neck.
Indeed, there was another interesting custom in the southern region. If the bride “bowed to three icons,” if she preened in front of her husband and accused the groom of incompetence, another open check was arranged. Moreover, the “inspector” was no longer her fiancé, but one of her relatives. As a rule, they chose men who had many children of their own.
In other words, someone who can reliably perform sexual intercourse. Along with everyone else, the groom’s family would already face shame if the “inspectors” turned out to be picking flowers at a young age. They also had to give gifts to the woman’s family for being suspicious. In addition, comic punishment of the incompetent husband can be carried out.
By the way, in this case the girl herself may demand to return to her parents. After all, she was also interested in not remaining childless. However, this right could not be used hastily. However, it is very interesting that after such a test people were able to live together until the end of their days, without holding a grudge against each other. Perhaps our ancestors knew how to forgive from the bottom of their hearts.
Without exaggeration, we can say that the most attractive and sexy woman was considered to be a rather dense woman with good breasts, a wide pelvis and a small amount of fat on her hips. All this testified to her health and ability to give birth to children. Such people looked with envy. And men were also attracted to the girl’s “pride camp.” This meant that she had to walk smoothly.
Considering how hard she worked, this wasn’t easy. Our great-grandmother had her own interesting methods to attract her husband’s attention. In fact, women’s legs were often hidden behind long skirts. Therefore, wives setting the table would “accidentally” try to lift their hemlines higher so their lovers could again notice their wives’ ankles. However, exposing their breasts proved less appealing. Perhaps this was because women were almost always nursing their children.
Incidentally, Russian women were expected to be submissive to their husbands and not argue with them, even if they were wrong. Therefore, in the villages, it was considered impossible to refuse a husband. If his desire arose suddenly during Lent or another holiday, he should be reminded of it. But if the urge persisted, people assumed he had taken the sin upon himself. This is always the case! First, if she tucks her hemline after mentioning it to the man, then it’s not her fault.
