Intimophobia or sex is a plus, trust is a minus
When it comes to best friends, I’m convinced that many of them don’t have these problems. Because they’re all fine. But at the same time, the main thing fades into the background. Sex is not only the satisfaction of a basic need, but also one of the elements of a truly close relationship. And he is so close, warm, and most importantly, the person is not ready to trust the contact. Thus, interpersonal phobia is defined as the inability to create lasting relationships built on trust and openness. Thus, thumbs up can be called men and women who are afraid to bring their partner into bed, not into the soul.
Contents of the article:
What are the causes of intimate phobia?
Of course, there are medical problems that can affect a person’s psyche and affect his inner shell. This is the development (or improper development) of the genital organs, mental illness and other serious cases. However, they are celibate and do not pose diagnostic problems. Everything is clear and the reason, as they say, is obvious.
Another feature of the formation of the psyche of a small person is his childhood experience. Let’s simulate a situation that could lead to the development of better friendships.
A single mother brings her daughter herself. He suffers in life and cannot realize himself as a woman and wife. At the same time, he is very tired and is trying to win pennies. All men evaluate her very negatively. And also the biological father of the child, whom the girl does not see. Not knowing that her father (like other men) can be useful, she absorbs value judgments from the words of her mother, and not from personal experience. One thing has grown – all men can betray, they are bad, they cannot be trusted. Having matured, a girl can fall in love, find a sexual partner and even get married, but an internal attitude of mistrust leads to the fact that sooner or later “bad things are confirmed.” Even if this is not true, it is true because those who always seek always find them. In addition, the ongoing relationship begins to poke fun at the basic principles of learning and “don’t expect good things” and therefore results in feelings of constant anxiety, apprehension and discomfort.
Another option is when children (whether girls or boys) are raised in families with alcoholic fathers (drug addicts, gamblers). All addicts experience outbursts of aggression. These are inevitable physiological changes. The situation is even worse if the mother is recognized as such. In the above cases, the child agrees that loved ones may do terrible things not because of any specific factor, but because of their well-being or mood. Therefore, you must always be on your guard.
There are options when a child causes negative feelings in the family. An unwanted child (everyone wanted a son, but it turned out to be a girl or something similar) is “everything wrong”, even if in fact it is for the best. Adults’ disappointment in themselves and the situation is channeled into attacks on her. Children don’t like it. However, the child never realizes that his parents do not love him, because all the basic principles of existence in this world have been lost. The child begins to believe that this is a normal family relationship and that people close to him would do the same.
Read also: Sex without commitment – is it right? Pros and cons
sincerely speaking, every adult has at least once thought about a partner with whom to have sex. However, people express themselves perfectly.
A purely male version of a situation that can lead to intimacy phobia. The mother raises the boy together with her “favorite” child. The assumption is implanted in the head of the mother’s son that not a single girl in the world deserves such a treasure. All they dream of is to use it. And the only member of the opposite sex they can rely on is their mother. Thus, even having found their intimate partners, men cannot get rid of their mistrust of them, and mothers do their best to “add fuel to the fire.”
Conversely, authoritarian fathers raise their sons to feel superior to women. After all, “women have long hair and short hearts.” To trust them is to deceive yourself. Because they are unable to keep secrets. Their job is to give birth to children and keep them quiet. At the same time, they should always be “checked” and controlled. It doesn’t take much to get into their heads. Such boys grow up to experience deep emotional problems, are afraid of “calf tenderness” and cannot trust their partner or spouse.
Ep209 no sex, but the porn itself is… good? [vox nihili ss standing stavru]
Is it possible to suspect intimophobia in a person?
Try to analyze his phrases that describe his inability or unwillingness to have a long-term relationship. The most common manifestations of intimacy phobia are.
- “First you need to walk”;
- “I am free like a bird”;.;
- “I want an open relationship”;
- There are no real men anymore”;
- “All men are bastards” / “All women are idiots” (and other general phrases of this type).
- “We all just need one.”
Next, human behavior is analyzed. Frequent changes of partner or lack of choice. In addition, such moments as regular negative assessment of their partner are typical for men when they talk about him with other people. For example, people are not shy about saying that his girlfriend is stupid or fat. After his story, it is completely unclear why he “suffers” with her. In fact, he strives for this in his mind, but he justifies his insecurity and openness.
What to do with intimate phobia?
The main thing is to understand and admit that you have it. No Damage, The Evil Eye and The Crown of Celibacy. Your karma is in perfect order, but your psychological program is not. You yourself, on a subconscious level, are trying to alienate your partner from yourself. And there are no ideal men and women in the world. Everyone has flaws. Only you know about them and do not allow them. It’s impossible to “get along” and you shouldn’t always be in a “dragonfly-jumping” state. Trust is the happiness of a loving couple. And relationships can be harmonized.
It is important to understand how and who was the source of the root cause of such an attitude towards the opposite and how you sincerely forgave this person in yourself. Perhaps he didn’t want this problem for you at all. And now we begin to write in our diaries why we should still trust our loved ones. Perhaps the first time everything will not be so rosy, or it will be easier to understand than to get rid of it. Don’t give up, find a way that suits you, or seek help from a psychologist. The main thing is not to give up – you will find a way out. Because in the end you will gain a completely different quality and joy of communication.
