Relationships with your single mother, are you up to it?
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I met a beautiful woman in a restaurant (park, club, fitness center or library). And good luck to you, she reciprocated your feelings. Everything is fine, life has acquired colors, and you feel in seventh heaven. But then, like a bolt from the blue, the news comes – she has a child. By the way, many men can defeat many men on the spot. This is especially true for male representatives who have not even tried to think about heirs; they can defeat many men on the spot. And here several options for the development of subsequent events are possible.
Contents of the article:
- You run right up to them and forget about it.
- You are trying to cope with the situation, but your child is annoying you
- You love her, are friends with the child and are ready to do anything to build a strong family
You’re not ready for children, especially strangers
You can’t blame a man for being right in front of a woman with a child. The very fact that they will have to live with children (and not their own) can plunge many of them into a state of shock. And if you can’t imagine living in the same apartment with children, then, of course, it’s better not to get used to this woman. Both her and the child.
Of course, you can try to “break” yourself and take the opportunity to reunite with a stranger. However, there is no chance for the successful development of such an event. This is largely due to the fact that a small child has a very subtle sense of falsehood. This is his subconscious level. Therefore, you cannot deceive him without sincere love for him. You don’t deserve his respect with any gift.
A single mother is not so sensitive. Remember that she already has negative experiences with men. Moreover, she sees you not only as a potential partner, but also as her child (baby) as a father. Such double “face control”. It will be very difficult to convey it.
If you are not ready for a child, you are tormented by the child’s screams and whims, end the relationship immediately and do not ruin the life of either yourself or the young mother. There are many girls in the world who are not burdened with offspring, and one of them will definitely wait for her prince, that is, you, that is, you.
Read also: Tips and tricks: how to save a relationship for life
there are couples who can bring love, happiness and harmony for years. Nothing seems to disturb their peace. So even at the age of 70 or 80 they are still there.
It’s hard for you, but you try
It sounds like you love your children. Or maybe you really love them. In this case, you need to be patient and try to strengthen your relationship with the young mother. Here the development of events directly depends on the age of the child. If the child you choose is still at an early age, this will be much easier.
Yes, you will have to change diapers, prepare baby formula, walk with a stroller and keep your baby awake at night when he is smacking his lips or teething. However, keep in mind that from the first months of his life you are next to him, the child perceives you as his father. Therefore, he does not need to get used to you, contrary to his memories of his own father. And it’s much easier for you.
It will be somewhat more difficult if the child you choose is already at the age when he is fully conscious. Additional difficulties may arise when he remembers his own father.
There are many, many situations in which this situation is not particularly comforting to you. If necessary, a small child can boast of amazing imagination and ingenuity. In order to “survive” you on his and his mother’s territory, he may carry out many executions in your direction. And believe me, glued to a shoe, salted in a cup of coffee and cut into pieces is far from the limit of his imagination.
Single mother: pros and cons. when everything is on you
Find common interests with your baby, common topics for conversation, support him and help him cope with problems and troubles (believe me, young children have them too). The child will begin to recognize you as a new inhabitant of the universe, along with his mother and as his father. And remember the main thing – love and false imitation will not help here.
I’m ready to do anything for love
You love her with all your heart and cannot imagine a day of separation. Then realize and remember that true love can work miracles. Together you can give your 100 percent, cope with the situation and help your child move from the enemy camp to the allied camp.
Yes, you don’t have a single difficult day, and you don’t have any difficult conversations. But, as they say, water wears away stones, and sooner or later the child will believe in your love, accept it and appreciate the story. Of course, if the child does not remember his real father, it will be much easier for you. But even if his memory of his father is still alive, even if he sees his father regularly, try talking to him as if he were an adult.
Explain that you are not his father’s enemy. Even if you disappear from his mother’s life, his father will still not return to him. Show him your love for him and his mother. The main thing is to prove this not with words, but with deeds and actions. Remember that lies and small children do not mix.
The opinion that young children do not understand anything is by mistake. Children are ready to talk with adults and can understand and feel the thoughts of all adults. Don’t underestimate children and communicate with them as equals.
