Why do I only get orgasm from masturbation? How to solve the problem?
There are many different types of orgasm, but the orgasm that is most difficult to achieve is the best for women. Some women have never experienced a vaginal orgasm in their lives, but according to modern research, more than 70% of them experience it.
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Some even argue that there is no such thing as a vaginal orgasm and that women derive pleasure from stimulation of the nerve endings in the clitoris. If they are lucky, the clitoris passes close enough to the front wall of the vagina (that notorious G-spot). The clitoris usually looks like an iceberg, with only the tip visible.
This theory has not yet been confirmed, but as mentioned above, most orgasms are not achieved by sex alone without clitoral stimulation. In addition, many women, as a rule, can only achieve orgasm during masturbation, and during regular sex such an explosion of pleasure does not occur. And some people don’t know what an orgasm is.
The ability to reach peak pleasure is reduced by hormonal changes in the body, gynecological problems (including painful sex), lack of stimulation, certain medications (such as antidepressants), anxiety and fear, smoking, alcohol, drugs and lack of self-confidence, relationship problems, stress, vaginal dryness.
Why is vaginal pleasure not available to you?
Naturally, this does not add positive emotions. You may start thinking about your inferiority complex and deceiving yourself, but this will only make things worse. Why can”t the party bring you to orgasm, but you manage it yourself with hard blows?
- Perhaps you are one of those 70% who cannot have a vaginal orgasm. Don”t be upset about this. After all, this does not mean that achieving pleasure is completely impossible. You just need to find the right path.
- During sex, you are too tense to relax. There”s no point in stressing yourself out when you”re alone. You know yourself and your shortcomings and don”t judge yourself for the extra wrinkles on your stomach (someone else might, but you need to learn to love yourself). But if you don’t trust your partner enough, then your thoughts will not be about pleasure, but about what exactly men are thinking. Are you quite beautiful and skilled in bed, but your behavior during sex seems strange? If all these things are constantly spinning in your head, then there is no room for orgasm.
- A man doesn”t know how to please you. No, this does not mean that he is immature and incompetent. Although this option should not be discounted either. But during masturbation, you are never at a loss as to what exactly you need to do to feel comfortable. We already know this because we have already tried different options and can achieve orgasm without wasting time. It is very difficult for men to gain all this knowledge without your help.
Read also: Why a girl doesn’t get an orgasm: answers and recommendations from a sexologist
Women are restless creatures, and it is difficult to understand whether they received pleasure or imitated it in sex. But if you go to this article, then you.
What”s wrong with men? arousal, masturbation and female orgasm
We fight and overcome circumstances
If you do decide to challenge fate and achieve vaginal orgasm, here are some practical tips on this matter.
- Relax and prepare your mind. This advice may seem commonplace, but it is often the most effective. This is because in many cases all the problems are in your head. Don”t drink alcohol. This can have the opposite effect as it reduces sensitivity and can cause sufficient lubrication to not work. Instead, talk to your partner, watch something interesting together (not necessarily a pornographic film), or listen to music.
- Prelude. Your body works a little like a man”s in matters of pleasure, but not like a man”s. Foreplay should last long enough because it takes longer for your body to reach orgasm. After all, in addition to the physical goal, it is to excite the partner and achieve a sufficient amount of lubrication for comfortable sex. Foreplay plays an important emotional role as it prepares not only the body but also the sexual brain.
- Talk to your partner — he can tell you what to do. Without this, orgasm is impossible. This is an important aspect of any relationship. You should tell your partner about your preferences and show him what exactly gives you maximum pleasure. This builds trust and helps you learn to deal calmly and consciously with all shortcomings. This will also help you be more confident and agree to some experiments in bed. Be a little selfish about sex and just say what you need to say. Otherwise, there is no pleasure to be expected.
- Have an orgasm before sex. Some women find that they can achieve vaginal orgasm if they already enjoy it. Whether this is due to hormone production, arousal or relaxation is unknown, but try giving mutual pleasure with your hand before vaginal sex or posing with your man for oral sex. However, the 69 position has never been legendary.
- Speed and rhythm. There is no need to try to copy what is shown in pornographic films. You can always find the rhythm that suits you best. Or switch from fast to slow.
And remember the main thing: sexual pleasure can be different. Don”t worry, because achieving vaginal orgasm is impossible, even if popular culture shows that this is the norm in sexual relationships. In the end, this is far from true. For many women, orgasm is completely out of reach.
Sex doesn”t always end in orgasm, and orgasm doesn”t always mean sex was exciting. Learn to live with yourself and worry, accept yourself and your body, work through your psychological problems and difficulties in relationships. And the joy of sex will not be long in coming.
