Tips and tricks: how to save a relationship for life
There are couples who can bring love, happiness and harmony for years. Nothing seems to disturb their peace. That’s why even at the age of 70 or 80 they still hold hands and look with loving young eyes. How do they do it? There is no magic, no secrets, just a few rules.
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in some couples, even clashes do not lead to conflicts, but this does not matter. And happy lovers do not always agree, but at the same time they can solve it so that it does not settle in the heart or mind. In other words, it will not harm their future life. Looking at relationships in a special way and doing special things is a kind of skill, nothing particularly difficult.
Why is everything falling apart
To understand how to maintain love and unity in life, you must first understand why couples break up.
Psychotherapists are convinced that the reason lies in the fact that people do not know what the psychology of relationships is. That is, they do not understand themselves, love, they do not know the characteristics of their partner, his passions, desires, which are often hidden deep inside.
Even in marriage, men and women may find it difficult to openly discuss sexual issues due to bondage and shame. This leads not only to problems in bed, but also to a loss of mutual understanding and trust.
Another reason is parental example, traditions, stereotypes, all this does not allow couples to build their own system of relationships that suits them. Modern people came under the influence of a transitional period in history, when one value system replaced another. The patriarchal lifestyle began to fall out of fashion, but the partnership model had not yet developed in marriage.
The children who lived during that period had just started a family and did not know what to do. Their parents advised one thing, but society advised another. Thus, the result is a very strange chimera created from two opposing models, or even a third chimera, including many problems. Young people who become parents then set a bad example for their children, their own children and others.
Conflicts, or rather the inability to resolve them, also influence the fact that love ends. Ways to do this correctly include
How to save everything
- Ability to fight.
Happy couples never go to bed resentful. This does not mean that lovers quarrel deliberately. Even when this happens, they understand how and why the conflict occurred and what they need to do to avoid it happening again in the future.
They not only “merge” conflicts, but also do not completely extinguish them, but use sparks to kindle a new flame.
The most important thing is to talk. It seems like it might be easier to sit down and speak up. Only here you need not only to express your opinion, but also to listen to what your partner has to say. Communication should be open, without hiding details. Omissions make it impossible to establish contact and strengthen connections. On the contrary, they lead to decay.
Love can be thought of as a house of cards: if you don’t tell the truth, pull one card out of it. It seems like it’s standing still, but it’s already beautiful. Then, card by card, cover by cover, the support disappears and everything falls apart.
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being happy in a relationship and finding the love of your life is a completely natural desire for every person. The ideal relationship between a man and…
For relationships to be healthy, we ourselves must be mentally healthy, maintain internal balance, create harmony and become better people.
Self-perception is formed from an early age and is influenced by interactions between parents, between children and even with other people. All experiences accumulated in the past are carried over into adulthood and affect how a person establishes contact with someone.
It would be great if the parents’ marriage was happy and the children could learn useful lessons. However, this happens quite rarely, and often the baggage of knowledge from childhood includes false scenarios, behavioral patterns, and sometimes even psychological trauma. This can be caused by quarrels between mothers and fathers, betrayal, attempts to manipulate spouses and children, and divorce. This will definitely affect your future family if you do not start working on yourself and the “injuries” you received in the future.
Relationships for life | how to live your whole life together
However, it is not surprising that they say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus – their psychology and bodies are really different. To maintain a happy relationship, you need to learn to understand how your life partner functions and how you respond to his thoughts, desires, needs, stressful conflict situations and even physiological characteristics.
You need to spend time learning everything and, most importantly, understanding. But you need to grow and learn. Without this, the long term perspective of love will not work.
In search of happiness, people tend to create ideals that they are trying to find. People associate happiness with someone because they believe that “everything will be fine when you get married.” He or she literally puts the responsibility on the loved one and places all hopes only on him or her.
This leads to expectations and dreams that do not always come true. When dreams are broken on the rocks of reality, when a partner does not correspond to the image created in the head, problems begin that lead to a breakup.
In the beginning, it is love that involves the neurotransmitter dopamine, which tends to deplete over time. On the contrary, this is not scary, since a connection occurs between people under the influence of the hormone oxytocin, which is responsible for attachment. It is produced during intimacy: emotional and sexual.
Men and women need to spend time together as often as possible, find common interests, engage in some hobby together, and even talk. Therefore, everyone gradually opens up, learns to trust and feels closeness, including spiritual closeness. This releases oxytocin, increases affection and strengthens bonds.
No matter what anyone says, sex is an integral part of a happy relationship. Firstly, during it many useful hormones are produced, including the same dopamine (the hormone of happiness), which leads to even greater reconciliation. Secondly, sex itself is a moment of deepest emotional intimacy.
When two people become even more passionate about each other, if not during sexual intercourse. The main thing is that it be real, not because it is necessary, but with the manifestation of desire. This type of sex does not bring pleasure and does not make you happy.
To build a strong and happy couple and, in the future, a family, you need to build yourself, your relationship and, most importantly, do it together with your partner. No one forbids you to want more, but you need to be able to appreciate and enjoy what you already have, especially your loved one.
