How to behave and how to please a girl’s parents when you first meet her
Sooner or later they will come to today: meeting the girl’s parents. It”s scary, exciting, awkward and inevitable. But it is necessary. To avoid freezing, you need to be well prepared.
Contents of the article:
Why is this necessary at all?
First, you need to understand whether your relationship with this girl is really serious and whether you both want to continue it as a couple. There are two types of young people. The first believe that this does not obligate anyone. The latter take this too seriously. And if in the first case the dating process is easy, then in the second it is more difficult, because the young man is not nervous. If a couple wants to take their relationship to the next level, meeting the parents is of great importance. This helps the person. He can see the girl”s mother and understand what awaits him in 20 years. And when he meets his father, he will let him know what the girl’s behavior is from him. Moreover, for many girls, the opinion of their parents means a lot, if not everything. Therefore, meeting her parents first shows the girl that she is not indifferent to the young man and that he is ready to go hand in hand with her. Men understand this, and the meeting becomes a serious test for them. But in reality, everything is not so scary. Remember that after parents have replaced a young couple, they must learn etiquette and not pretend to be others. In addition, one must remember that one should not imagine oneself as a different, idealistic person, because later parents must remember that they need to see the young person for who he really is.
How to prepare for this
However, the desire to make a very good impression forces you to take preparatory steps. You should find out what her parents are interested in, how they spend their leisure time, what my hobbies are. In the case of your mother, you can ask her what she considers her signature dish. Before communicating with the father, it is necessary to find out from the girl what kind of communication is between them and how well he takes care of her.
And information about hobbies and common interests will help you avoid awkward pauses in conversation and always open the topic to questions. To make a good impression, you shouldn”t show up to an empty house. This is not at all decent. The main thing is not to go too far when choosing a gift. It should be something in the mid-price category, but not capture the taste of parents. Otherwise, the gift will look inappropriate. The ideal option is to capture a cake or pastry on the table, as well as a bottle of good wine. If the girl’s parents do not accept alcohol at home, you can replace it with elite tea or coffee. To give the first person you meet a gift in the form of perfume, accessories or clothing, the introduction becomes like a ransom.
What to wear
In Russia, despite the fight against this, they are still greeted by their clothes. Therefore, the choice of clothing in this case plays an important role. This does not mean that they need to wear a tailcoat and fill their hair with gel. This means that the appearance should be clean and tidy. Clothes should be dirty, wrinkled, or smell bad. It is recommended to avoid offensive items, avoid bright prints, chains and ripped jeans.
Of course, if girls expect to meet bikers, they can wear jackets and jeans. You should navigate depending on your family situation and lifestyle. Perhaps this will be a classic couple with established moral principles and the complete collected works of Pushkin. Therefore, she must be dressed correctly. The ideal option is classic jeans or trousers combined with a shirt, jumper or very short T-shirt. The best option is everyday. Particular attention should be paid to the hairstyle. Hair should be clean and combed. There”s no need to get a fancy haircut from the most expensive barbers in town, but you should invest your money in something decent. Young people should also not smell unpleasant odors. But with the strong aroma of perfume, they shouldn”t bend over backwards. And, of course, the general conditions must be satisfactory. After meeting Guy Mmel or submitting an annual report, few people like it.
Meeting the girl”s parents: Hour X
So the couple stands on the threshold and is about to press the call button. What to do next and how to behave? Don”t panic. There are many stages in the dating process. Everyone expects and will save the situation. Let”s start with the fact that you entered the house and, of course, you must greet them. Father”s hand, mother”s smile. Don”t forget to imagine and, most importantly, remember the parents” names.
Read also: How to behave on a first date with a man or girl? in the life of every person there is, perhaps, the most saving and exciting moment — the first date. We all remember the panic that grew and turned into.
And here we are not talking about their names, but about the form of address that they voice. It is good manners to treat people the way they present themselves. If they have a name and nickname, you should call them that. If only the name is pronounced, this makes the task even easier. You shouldn”t awkwardly stomp on the threshold and throw dirt from the street, but you shouldn”t stand until you are told what to do. After greeting the hotel and handing it over, you should definitely ask where the bathroom is and wash your hands. Then go where the owner invites you. Ask in a good manner where you would like to sit. Usually good housewives don’t even think about this. Sit down at the table and don”t immediately attack the food. It”s better to wait until the girl”s parents touch her. You should behave politely at the table, monitor the filling of the glass or glass and offer to take the plate away. You must follow the rules of etiquette at the table. They are quite simple — don”t make offensive noises while eating, don”t talk with your mouth full, use the cutlery provided or put your elbows on the table. Of course, rarely does anyone care about the last rule. However, it is definitely noted by the girl”s mother as positive and characterizes the man as a famous person.
Meeting the girl”s parents. how to please? how to behave correctly?
Family members have the greatest influence on a girl. A few less-than-favorable comments about a young man are serious grounds for reconsidering the relationship. Therefore, all attention and all attraction should be directed toward the mother. Her food is the most delicious, her own daughter is beautiful, perhaps even in herself, her home is the most comfortable. The main thing is to make this crude flattery seem as natural as possible. It”s helpful to help your mother clear the dishes after dinner to help her appreciate a good meal.
What to talk about?
It”s worth preparing in advance for the conversation that will take place at the table. And what do parents ask?
- They ask how the couple met. If a friend”s story sounds like “a drunk from a bar,” it”s better to come up with a beautiful story in advance. Of course, you”re not much better. So you can embellish a little. After I worked hard, it started raining heavily outside. Suddenly, seeing her waiting for the bus, wet and tired, I decided to give her an elevator.” The main thing is that both characters in this story are telling the same story.
- Generally, it”s about their plans for the future. One family doesn”t expect a young man who isn”t serious about their daughter to get to know them. So, of course, they”re interested in whether the couple will live together, get married, and have children. You just need to accept this and decide what the young couple”s plans are, and he”ll express them at a family meeting.
- Generally, family topics usually come up significantly. It”s interesting to find out what kind of family the young man has. Understandably, few people immediately contribute to the truth. Nevertheless, some conclusions can already be drawn from the young man”s reaction to such questions. They can also be asked about family values in general, to understand what the parents of the family are passing on to their daughters.
- About what the young man does. If so, who, if anyone, is pursuing this career path? Does he work, what kind of work? What he does, what his prospects are, and how many hours he puts in.
- And, of course, parents will want to know about his hobbies and how he spends his free time. Does he enjoy outdoor recreation, how often does he travel, and does he play sports?
Furthermore, there are certain topics that should never be brought up under any circumstances.
- Avoid negative comments about yourself. Even if they seem like just funny incidents, they may seem quite different to the girl”s parents.
- Don”t bring up the topic of religion or beliefs. These are very deep questions and very intimate. It is better to avoid such topics so as not to cause heated religious conflicts.
- Questions of money are also inappropriate. By the way, this is never appropriate. Only with close people. If parents are interested in a young person”s earnings, you can use general phrases. For example, let”s say that a young man can take on providing for his family. Or while he is studying, but plans to build a career in the future.
- By the way, politics also stops. People have very different political views, especially young people. However, the older generation is somewhat more conservative and receives most of its information through television and radio. Start talking about your views on politics and you may hit a wall of misunderstanding and the fun evening will soon end.
- Don”t talk about your family shortcomings. Even if these are not shortcomings, but just temporary difficulties. Parents still don’t recognize young people well. Such stories can create an image of a person a little more familiar with the evils of life. It is clear that everyone has them, but it is better to postpone such stories for later.
- Also, do not gossip, discuss your friends, or make personal judgments of them and their behavior. This will only create the impression that as soon as the couple leaves the house, they immediately go to discuss their parents. Or, even worse, the young man may discuss the girl behind her back.
An additional advantage to the image of an ideal man is compliance with a simple rule of etiquette.
- Unless otherwise specified, refer to “you”.
- Don”t interrupt.
- Listen carefully to your interlocutor.
- Talk about yourself without forcing your parents to interrogate you.
- At the same time, they are equally interested in their lives without pulling the blanket over themselves
- Speech excludes curses and parasitic words
- Sarcasm, irony and inappropriate jokes are also excluded
- Smile and be charming
As a rule, meeting a girl”s parents is not a very difficult task. Don”t worry if modesty, tact and sociability are innate qualities. It is important to remember that the main thing for parents is to know who the young person really is. Sooner or later they will find out. Therefore, it makes no sense to check backgrounds and plans, as this may turn into a problem. Do not think that silence and resourcefulness will help in any matter. I also learned that my parents are human and in a similar situation. Remember how exciting they are? Therefore, they try to create comfortable conditions for communication. Plus, the situation is probably new to them. They also become nervous, speak out of place, and laugh awkwardly. In addition, this situation is, first of all, very stressful for the girl. And since everyone is here for her, her comfort should be here first. At the end of the meeting, you should thank the parents for a pleasant evening, saying that the food was very tasty and the communication was pleasant. And if the couple lives together, then in good form this is an invitation to a mutual visit.
Bonus — the next article contains recommendations on how to meet a man”s parents.
