Train your partner like a dog: the magical “cookie” technique
Stop vile psychological manipulation and attempts to get what you want from your partner using hooks or deception! Treating romantic partners more humanely while still getting what we want. At the same time, nip any difficulties in the bud. This psychological technique is called “giving away the cookies.”
Contents of the article:
Our communication partners are like mirrors
Many of us face the same scenario in our relationships. We begin to communicate with people, enjoy and have fun. Now, 15 minutes after the start of the conversation, our interlocutor becomes uncomfortable, boring and grumpy, like an old woman at the market. This happens with friends and partners. They become a real source of irritation and boredom and do not even realize how these changes are happening.
Our contribution to relationships and a chance to change everything
Do you know what”s most amazing? This may include a significant amount of our own negligence. Too often we tend to blame others for our own bad behavior. Of course, it is very easy to point out the mistakes of others. However, we rarely take the psychological position of “causality,” an interesting term in psychology. In other words, we consider ourselves the cause of our own existence.
Psychological way to achieve the desired behavior
American psychologist and sexologist Jeremy Nicholson suggests using the so-called “cookie method.” Its essence is that, figuratively speaking, you give your partner a cookie that reinforces his desired behavior. Essentially, this behavior involves various rewards in the form of pleasant gestures, words, gifts or delicious food. It is necessary to give “cookies” only after the partner has implemented the behavior we desire. Thus, the desired model of behavior is fixed in him on an unconscious level.
Read also: Are there magical ways to improve relationships? in any case, even the most loving couples experience crises over time. Passion goes away, romance becomes a rare guest and comes only on February 14th.
Awards in action
Jeremy gives a simple example of this. Imagine a situation: A child gets an A on his homework. His mother rewards him with a delicious cookie. The boy understands that if he gets a good grade, he”ll get something good, so he tries to get a good grade next time at school.
The same thing happens on the romantic front. In fact, we engage in this behavior all the time and don”t even realize it.
These are delicious cookies. Three flavors. Try the subtitles Sasha Soltova
Unintentional reinforcement
The problem, sexologists emphasize, is that this process can also work in the opposite direction. For example, a partner begins to swear, complain, or openly whine. We begin to react violently. For example, we respond to insults with insults. As a result, the other person only becomes more and more irritated. Innocent whining over trivial matters can soon turn into a full-blown scandal.
Basic rules of the method
In social life, you can”t rely on luck, says Nicholson. Furthermore, sexologists highlight key points that can help you achieve success.
- Determine what type of reinforcement works best for your partner.
- The timing of the “reward” is appropriate. It should occur immediately after the desired behavior.
- Ignore unwanted behavior.
- Vary the “rewards”: they don”t always have to be the same.
Using this method, your partner will eventually become soft. Any complaints can be forgotten.
