Elderly virgins: what is the cause of choice or situation?
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The film “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” sounds funny, but at the same time depressing. It”s funny to those on the outside looking in, shocking to those who exist, and depressing to those who actually experience it.
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There is even a Hollywood film of the same name, which tells about the “old” virgin Andy. At the same time, an innocent male friend is trying in every possible way to arrange sex for him. The genre of the film is romantic comedy. In fact, there is no romanticism at all, and there are absolutely no issues to laugh out loud about.
The other side of the coin
Typically, the term “40-year-old virgin” is used for laughs in relation to people who behave somewhat awkwardly in ironic situations. However, for the elderly virgins themselves there is little humor here. Typically, this definition includes those who began sexual activity no earlier than 25 years of age.
The real world of such women is very different from the plot of the film. This is not a comedy at all, but a world of embarrassment, isolation and self-doubt, where people literally begin to feel backward, “less than human” and unworthy of living in a normal adult world with all its delights.
The number of mature virgins is growing
Just 40 years ago, 40-year-old virgins were considered the exception rather than the rule. However, by the mid-1980s, sex therapists began to realize that there were too many of these “exceptions.” They said that people over 25 years of age began to come to the receptions, and that many of them were connected by the same problem — the lack of sexual experience in life.
At the same time, a quarter of the total number of applicants were men. It is worth clarifying that some of them had sexual contacts with prostitutes, but they do not count. This happens because such sex is not real. In fact, they never had a serious relationship. By the end of the 1990s, the number of “older” virgins was growing steadily, but no one could name the true reason for this.
This remained a mystery until 2009. At that time, scientists in the field of sexual medicine published a study of 2, 469 men and 5, 120 women aged 25 years. Overall, they found that 122 men and 104 women had never had sexual intercourse.
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Girls and women of different ages, with different external characteristics and life experiences largely reject men and begin to communicate with each other.
Of course, some of them abstain from sex for religious reasons, but most do not want this fate, but, unfortunately, they cannot do anything about it. The 47-year-old admitted: “I think it’s a disgrace and a terrible mistake on my part.”
Reasons for long-term abstinence
Researchers decided to find out what motivates people to abstain from sex for a long time. Scientists name two most obvious reasons. These are: deep religious beliefs and abstinence from alcohol. According to sex therapists, even these factors seem to be less important than deep embarrassment, social awkwardness and discomfort in communicating with the opposite sex. For them, physical connection with the opposite sex seems unnatural.
One man who took part in the study admitted I can”t explain why I became shy. I was interested in women, but I wasn”t open to them. It”s hard to explain, but I didn”t know how to move beyond my normal friendships.”
There is a way out
But don”t despair. So-called “surrogate partners” come to the aid of older women. Statistics show that the most frequent clients of such partners are mature, virgin men. The practice of introducing such partners dates back to 1966, when Dr. Martin John Cole began looking for ways to solve such sensitive problems.
He gathered under the roof of his house sexually trained women who could satisfy old virgins. This man was considered a pimp and was then also arrested. Not much has changed since then. This is due to the fact that several years ago, sexologists William Masters and Dr. Virginia Johnson also practiced providing surrogate partners, for which they also appeared before the police.
It is worth clarifying that surrogate partners never engage in sexual intercourse with clients. Instead, they answer virgin questions about sex and introduce kissing, sensual touching, massage and mutual nudity, but never lead to sex. They help people feel comfortable and understand how to behave sexually and how their partners behave. However, there are also exceptional moments.
Sometimes the surrogate partner will have sex with the client, but only after a few foreplays. The main difference between sex workers and surrogate partners is that surrogate partners always work closely with a sex therapist. At the same time, they get more than just a partner for the evening. Their services cost approximately $200-250 per hour.
