Funny quotes from How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother is one of the most interesting series about relationships, friendships and trying to trace your life from the ages of 20 to 30 and into your 40s.

Contents of the article:

• Funny Moments | How I Met Your Mother | Season 1
• The best quotes from the famous series

Over its nine seasons, the series has given viewers a slew of memorable, classic quotes and funny one-liners, making everyone laugh and listen to relationship advice that touched their hearts.

In fact, this episode produced one of the funniest lines in the sitcom”s early history.

Funny Moments | How I Met Your Mother | Season 1

The best quotes from the famous series

• This cake. Best cake I”ve ever eaten. Seriously, my stomach is like. Hey, I don”t know what you”re eating. I don”t know what you”re eating because I don”t have eyes, but he usually keeps sending it down his throat because it”s fantastic.” — Marshall Eriksen;
• “When I”m sad, I stop being sad and become beautiful.” — Bernie Steinsson
• “I realized that I was in search and looking for what I really want in life. And guess what? I don”t know what it is.” — Bernie Steinsson
• “Sometimes just because you know how something will end doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the journey.” — Ted Mosby.
• “A lie is a beautiful story about how someone destroyed the truth.” — Bernie Steinsson
• I take all my Halloween costumes with me in case I meet the sexiest girl at the party. This way I have a second chance to make a first impression.” — Bernie Steinsson
• “Actually, it would be the biggest mistake not to make this mistake. Because you spend your whole life not knowing if you”ve made mistakes.” — Lily Allyn
• “Your restoration fantasies are not coming true the way you would like.” — Marshall Eriksen;
• The future is feared, but it is familiar, so you can”t go back to the past.” Yes, it”s tempting, but it”s a mistake.” -Robin Scherbatsky;
• It”s just that, in the end, we all move on. This is called growth. — Lily Allyn
• “We”ve finally found the same marshal. Her name is Bree-Brie.” — Ted Mosby.
• “The best I can give you is a fake smile and dull eyes.” -Robin Scherbatsky;
• Look, I know the love of my life isn”t going to magically walk through that door at 2:43 a. m. dressed as a pumpkin. But it seems like it”s still the same wonderful place where you sit and wait.” — Ted Mosby.
• “The only reason to wait a month to have sex is if she”s 11 months along.” — Bernie Steinsson
• Trust me, you won”t want to, but I”ve never been as cool as I am today.” — Bernie Steinsson
• “I”m a good man, I”m a good man, I”m a good man, I”m a good man, I”m a good man. In my dreams.” — Marshall Eriksen;
• “Shouldn”t we just tolerate our little quirks and settle down with someone who actually loves them?” — Ted Mosby.
• Somewhere along the way, I forgot to pursue my dream. Now I”m older, I”m a mother. — Lily Allyn
• In a marriage, being right is less important than staying right. Remember: a happy wife means a happy life.” — Lily Allyn
• I know what Marshall needs to do. He needs to stop being sad. When I”m sad, I stop being sad and become beautiful. Important. ” — Bernie Steinsson;
• You are my best friend. I don”t need objectivity. I need your support.” — Lily Allyn
• “I just want to say it from the bottom of my heart. I”m going to kill you.” -Robin Scherbatsky;
• The more you fight it, the worse it gets. It”s like when your car slides on ice, it starts to skid.” — Ted Mosby
• I don”t know where I”ll be in five years. I don”t want to know. I want my life to be an adventure.” -Robin Scherbatsky;
• “Well, that answers all the questions I didn”t ask.” -Robin Scherbatsky;
• When it comes to making mistakes, even if you know something is wrong, you still have to do it.” — Ted Mosby.
• “You”re disrupting my metabolism. As you know, I can drink cream lipstick, wake up and lose weight. Well, everywhere except the chest. Very annoying. ” — Robin Shcherbatskaya;
• “No surprises are the best part of marriage.” — Lily Allyn
• “Italy should not be wrinkled, red, flowing, smelling of alcohol and drugs. They already have a prime minister, Silvio Berlusconi.” — Marshall Eriksen;
• Yes, I feel bad. No, I don”t want to talk about it. Yes, there is a drink for that. No, this is not the first time.” — Lily Ollin;
• “You see us walking to the limousine and eating a hot dog. As if we were the president.” — Marshall Eriksen;
• “Like Ryan Gosling in The Notebook. Until you mentioned Ryan Gosling in The Notebook, he actually looked like a man, didn”t he?” — Ted Mosby.
• Nothing good happens after two in the morning. When 2 a. m. comes, go home and go to bed.” — Ted Mosby.
• “Are you guys fucking? Go on, I”m not here. But for the record? Do you have children? Big mistake.” — Bernie Steinsson;
• Being in a relationship is hard. And it”s hard to make commitments and sacrifices. But if it”s the right person, then everything is simple.” — Marshall Eriksen.
• Behind all these lies lies one single truth that eclipses all the lies in the world. And that”s why I love you.” — Bernie Steinsson
• “Everyone I know is married and pregnant. I”m even cooler.” — Bernie Steinsson
• “You get older, have kids, stop stealing — it”s sad.” — Lily Allyn
• “Well, you give something, another book, you say you’ve written it. You’re just like him, Stephen King — a certain type!” — Marshall Eriksen;
• “Give me the cassette! Normal, American Scottish cassettes!” — Bernie Steinsson
• Children are not just an important part of your life, they are the most important part of your life. When will you understand this?” — Marshall Eriksen;
• Lily is the devil”s puppeteer. She manipulates any situation to get what she needs. She”s pure evil, Marshall. You are very lucky to have her, don”t lose her.” — Bernie Steinsson;
• “The wind, fate, will return when chance brings me back. In other words, tomorrow. Tomorrow is hearty steak day.” — Marshall Eriksen;
• “Children, consider that your lives are lived in vain if they are not hanged somewhere for signs that are prohibited for you.” — Ted Mosby.
• “My company trains a representative class of tobacco company representatives. I stand with cancer in the fight against it.” — Ted Mosby.
• “Everything here is so dark and careless, everything seems completely illegal. It”s like being inside Bernie”s head.” — Marshall Eriksen;
• “And this is the most hypocritical thing of all. If you save all the trees in the forest so the forest doesn”t turn into a parking lot, where will you park your car?” — Ted Mosby.
• “You just shamed something I don”t like by mentioning something I like. Damn, you”re getting more attractive and charming! — Ted Mosby.”
• In Las Vegas, casinos are at least ventilated. And here, it seems, everyone has their own oxygen shelter.” -Robin Scherbatsky;
• “As you know, Bernie, for anyone else this would be a new level of meanness, but unfortunately for you it”s only in the middle.” — Lily Allyn
• “Hey, you just lost your “I love you”” — Botality. — Ted Mosby.
• “You”re like that goat with the towel, because you”re so devoted to it that every time the world tries to take it from you, you cling to it with every ounce of strength. But really, it”s just a towel! Why do you even need it?” — Lily Allyn
• “I”m not going to go to the matchmaker — that”s the same as giving up, isn”t it? Basically, the man got a cat!” — Ted Mosby.
• “By the time I was almost in my twenties, I had already dated a lot of people, but when you”re in a relationship with someone, the general rule is to pretend it”s not true.” — Ted Mosby.
• “Well, there are only two reasons why I can laugh at this. One, it was the first joke she heard. Or two, she likes you.” — Ted Mosby.
• “Listen, guys regret the girls they didn”t sleep with, and girls regret the guys they did sleep with.” -Stella Zinman;
• “Oh, those mothers, huh? Mothers are always worried about the little things. After a week, I lost sleep.” — Marshall Eriksen;
• I slept with Robin once and became infected by his emotions. I was protected!” — Ted Mosby.
• “I see these SMS. And with the same finger she writes SMS for her mother.” — Bernie Steinsson
• “You love him, you are him, so be together! It’s so easy to be happy, your mom!” — Lily Allyn
• “You”re sad, you”re broken, and when it”s over, you”ll go home, grab your big family underpants, and be left behind!” — Marshall Eriksen;
• He will hold you until you agree to release the Death Star.” — Marshall Eriksen;
• “The most important thing in Angry Birds is to always try to predict all possible outcomes and hit the pig with a stone or something else.” — Robin Shcherbatsky;
• Ted, honey, go outside, find a wall and kill yourself. They”ll be here soon.” — Lily Allyn
• “There is no need to humanize the enemy.” — Bernie Steinsson
• It”s like smoking. It means you get drunk and think everything is fine, but before you know it, you”ve already bought a block a week.” -Robin Scherbatsky;
• “The only difference between my real life and porn is that in my life the lighting is better.” — Bernie Steinsson
• “Food commissions amount to racism.” — Ted Mosby.
• “Girls are like a bad flu. They go through weeks of bed rest.” — Bernie Steinsson
• I”m listening. Whenever you feel like calling her, find me first. And then I”ll punch you in the face.” — Ted Mosby.
• “I don”t look like a tearful romantic, but this weekend Robin is the only one I”ll put aside.” — Bernie Steinsson
• “So I have to work. I have to clear the desks of unnecessary paper. For the same unnecessary stacks of paper. But it”s worth it, isn”t it? After all, I make this world. It”s the same thing.” — Marshall Eriksen;
• I understand that it is difficult for you now, but one day you will love again. Time may heal a broken heart, but this bitch”s broken windows probably won”t. We”ll throw it away!” — Bernie Steinsson
• “Do you know a person who loves long-distance relationships? Girls! One chat and no sex! Better to kill.” — Marshall Eriksen;
• It”s code for brotherhood. The brother does not tell the ordinary brother that the third brother is rummaging around in his ear; he does not tell the ordinary brother that the real brother has been promoted and stripped in his presence. Like the third brother, he doesn”t tell the regular brother that the real brother got promoted and was removed before him. That”s the nature of a brother”s profession.” — Bernie Steinsson
• We”re all prone to making stupid decisions, but time is funny and sometimes a little magical. Over time, a stupid decision can turn into something completely different.”
• I know I”m afraid of putting myself down because I know I”m not the only one who has to make stupid decisions. But if you don”t do it, no one will do it for you. — Bernie Steinsson
• Robin, it”s just a child, it doesn”t bite. Well, he might bite, but we”re working on it.” — Lily Allyn
• I just had my first one. I think I went through verlagism.” — Lily Allyn
• “Damn, if cockroaches and rats found love in this city, why can”t I?” — Ted Mosby.
• If you believe in them, people live up to expectations.” — Ted Mosby.
• Someone give him a drink and he”ll start thinking again.” — Bernie Steinsson
• “There are two types of people: those who are not like you, and those who are like you, and those who are like you. And those who call when you don”t want to hear them.” — Jen
• “When you”re single, you hope that every new girl will be your soulmate.” — Ted Mosby.
• “Or you don”t want to be saved from disappointment. You might be disappointed. I”ve never wanted anything so bad for so long. And with you, disappointment doesn”t seem such a disappointment.” — Bernie Steinsson
• If you don”t believe in elves and snowmen, why get up in the morning? — Marshall Eriksen;
• “You rejected porn stars? Our friendship is over!” — Bernie Steinsson
• I love duty. I want to marry my duty!” — Bernie Steinsson
• “Do you want to break up with your girl? Six words: You look fat in those jeans. And that”s it, you”re free.” — Bernie Steinsson
• Now I”m going to impart some wisdom, so stand up and look at your feet.” — Bernie Steinson;
• Of course, Robin, I respect your help, but there”s a reason your name is Robin, not Batman.” — Ted Mosby.
• “Dropping the phone once wasn”t enough.” — Bernie Steinsson
• Every day there is an 18-year-old woman who is not good enough for me.” -Ellen Pierce;
• “Hey, your ego is writing checks your body can”t pay!” — Bernie Steinsson
• “If you have sex again, you won”t get any dessert!” — Lily Allyn
• “What a stupid intrusion into my personal life. Continue.” — Bernie Steinsson
• “Ted, the only people in the universe who have never seen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars, and that”s because they live there!” — Marshall Eriksen.

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How I Met Your Mother is one of those series that you don”t even need to watch. You can just listen, laugh and learn from the characters” wisdom.

But combined with excellent acting, it is so convincing that it is impossible to remain indifferent to them.