Personal experience: “Why do others care that I’m childfree?”
Who stands in the way of childfree people? Frankly, no one. We’re talking about normal adults who don’t force their views on anyone. They make informed decisions and enjoy their lifestyle. They don’t judge friends and acquaintances who decide to become parents. They don’t say that children are bad or a burden.
Article Contents:
Overall, they act like normal adults who approach life consciously. They just don’t have children.
So why do compassionate people attack every time they hear that raising children isn’t their greatest joy in life? That’s the revelation of Dana McMahan. She and her husband are perfectly happy and have no plans to have children. They’re doing just fine. In an article for NBCNews, America’s leading television network, Dana explains why her lifestyle is her business.
“So, when already?”
People who ask careless questions aren’t mammoths.
They never die.
Even girls in their 20s are probably familiar with this. “Are you getting married?” And when are you having kids? The details are ticking!
Should a girl find a boyfriend, or finally! – get married, as relatives and strangers start asking questions about “kids?”
Every time my birthday changes from 30 to 40, I feel more and more relieved. With each new year comes the endless question: “Are you planning on having kids? No? What do you mean?” Dana says.
As she rightly points out, there’s no right answer to such questions. “And an honest and unpretentious ‘um, I don’t want to’ is unlikely to satisfy such people. They seem to think it’s their personal mission to convince me that I don’t understand my own thinking,” says Dana.
Dana is almost 45. Soon, questions about when she plans to have children will no longer bother her. But she fears that there will definitely be a next time. “Do you have children? This is the era of questions like ‘No? Do you regret not having them?'”
Hate-free -free
Dana believes people simply need to write a list of reasons why they shouldn’t hate her or other childfree people.
“Why don’t you choose a different tactic instead of hating? Look, it’s not for me. But I fully support people who think and live differently.” “I’m grateful to my friends who chose a different path and are now inquisitive, socially conscious, and wonderful people. The world depends on them,” says Dana.
She also points out that Childfree must always defend herself and emphasizes that she loves her nephews, nieces, friends’ children, etc. She doesn’t believe such debates are necessary. Despite the attention she attracts, many films feature villainous characters who are childless.
Let’s not forget the “selfish” aspects. So, no one can clearly explain why not wanting to create a miniature version of myself to take care of me in my old age makes me selfish. A counter-question: do you really think you can get a guarantee? asks McMahan.
Read also: Why Do People Agree to Be Childfree?
One of the most important decisions we have to make is whether or not to have children. However, solutions to this problem are always considered in…
No_psychoanalysis,_please
First of all, Dana says: “But if I had my own children, I would think differently!” She is offended by comments like…
At such moments, she really wants to ask questions.
“First of all, I want to understand why women, or mothers, want me to join them. Is motherhood truly a blessing, and they want me to enjoy it too? Hmm, I don’t buy that. The truth is, motherhood is hard work. Many women regret their choice. Or rather, their lack of choice—after all, most pregnancies were unplanned,” she asserts.
“In fact, the very idea that I decided not to have children seems a little wrong to me. I never decided to have them. Just as I never decided to become a skydiver, a scientist, or a gardener. Where else would I have the opportunity to evaluate someone else’s life from the perspective of something I didn’t do?” McMahan asks a reasonable question.
Having children vs. becoming childfree
Dana sees nothing wrong with not having children. However, for some reason, others don’t share her views.
I haven’t wanted children since I was old enough to understand that a little girl should want her own children. Nothing changed my mind. I didn’t want it. Just like I didn’t want to eat liver or play dodgeball. Once you start eating liver, you don’t like it. And if I were to have my own children, I wouldn’t even like the idea. Think about how awful it would be to want a child for someone who doesn’t want one.
Dana thinks it’s ridiculous to explain to someone why she doesn’t want a child. It’s like trying to explain why she doesn’t like peppers. “I just am who I am, that’s all,” she says.
It’s not that bad
There’s a silver lining to all this. Whenever my birthday changes, I care less than others seem to. I spent a lot of emotional energy caring about other people’s opinions, trying to justify myself, and hoping people would understand. And how many tears were shed over hurtful and thoughtless remarks? And all of them were from women. Now, in my 40s and now 50s, I’ve finally realized that I don’t care. In that wonderful scene in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, when John Candy addresses a hostile Steve Martin with a heartfelt “I love myself,” I feel like John Candy.
I love my life. I really enjoy it. And part of me should feel guilty about it, but you know what? This is where I make my choice. I don’t want to feel guilty, I want to feel gratitude. I had the opportunity to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. Because I was lucky enough to marry a man who knew I didn’t want children and didn’t run away on the first date. And I’m grateful for this life. It was never perfect. But it’s mine. And only me.”
Childfree All Around Us
In fact, there are quite a few people like Dana and her husband. It’s just that not everyone is willing to openly state their position. It’s easier to politely nod and avoid the question than to say you don’t plan to have children. Not now, not in a year, not in a decade.
Frankly, such conscious childfree people command much more respect than careless “child lovers.” “I can’t and don’t want to devote my time and care to my children. And I won’t have children just because it’s the right thing to do. A child deprived of parental love and care is very unhappy. Saying ‘I don’t want to do this’ is a healthy position.
I want my children to take care of me in my old age. I don’t know how I’ll raise them. I hope my parents will help me. Parental instincts may awaken. The main thing is Give birth.
Dana and her husband don’t mind a glass of water in their old age. Dana’s Instagram is full of vibrant photos of delicious food, travels, dogs, and other joyful moments in her life. Perhaps the most important thing we can learn from everyone is the ability to live “wrong,” but with style.
