Family psychologists told how not to go crazy during self-isolation
We are forced to stay indoors for several days in a row, without being able to take a break from each other. We have to deal with work and family responsibilities — 24 hours a day, without breaks or days off. What if the couple has small children or uncontrollable teenagers? The cup of patience may become so full that scandals will begin.
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Or even get a divorce.
The Cin-en Channel spoke with several licensed marriage and family therapists, clinical psychologists and couples about how to save the health of your relationship from the sensational virus.
Communication
It is impossible to build a stable and harmonious relationship without communication and avoiding warmth.
Communication is the key to everything. And in dark times, like now, and even when the global economy is not threatened by a crisis, dangerous viruses do not walk across the planet on a semi-miniature ladder.
How can you establish a communication system in your family? Once a week, you can organize a family council meeting. There, all family members can share the latest news and discuss their views on what is happening in the world.
Another option is to host evening talks. There is a mutual interest in each other”s physical and psychological well-being.
Michelle Weiner Davis, a marriage and family therapist in Boulder, Colorado, confirms that it”s not as important as home therapy sessions. It is much more important that you are really interested in it.
Michelle says the most common cause of family conflict in pandemic situations is a different view of what is happening in the world. One gives in to panic and prepares for the apocalypse, and the second says that the world is not a virus, but panic that pushes him to the edge of the Abyss.
If you look at pandemics, quarantine, self-consent and all the accompanying events differently, then it is impossible to correctly distribute obligations. All this increases tension and creates anxiety in all families.
Leave me alone
Oh, how wonderful it was before! You both would disappear from work, meet for dinner and calmly discuss what had happened that day. Or one of you went to work, and the other stayed at home, enjoying the sweet moments of solitude and personal space.
But then the coronavirus appeared and confused all the cards.
The smaller the living space, the more difficult it is to cope with disappointment and the irresistible desire to escape from family members.
How not to get carried away? Try meditation. Play music on headphones to calm down and enjoy the experience. Additionally, now is the time to start learning yoga and other spiritual practices.
However, according to Alev Aus-Barlas (an expert from New York), sometimes people just need to step away from their work and spend five minutes in absolute silence.
“Fictional Colleague”
You may have seen Molly”s aspirations to become an online writer and editor. She suggests that couples forced to work together at home come up with imaginary colleagues on whom they can blame all their differences.
“Tip for couples working together at home: Make them imaginary co-workers for whom you are responsible. Here in our house, Cheryl constantly leaves dirty mugs everywhere.
Read also: Three types of family budget and how to plan it?
Have you ever had to listen to friends complain about your friend often saying that he “fixed” thousands of people so they could buy a new blouse? Or.
Alexandra Fondren, a public relations professional from Northern California, took this advice to heart.
She and her husband immediately began blaming “Cheryl” for all the things that annoyed them.
I didn”t know Cheryl was such a chocolate lover. This is evidenced by the empty wrappers scattered throughout the “office”. In addition, Cheryl did not share her chocolate with her colleagues,” Fondren writes.
The masses also received a new flash mob. Under the hashtag #CovidConfessions (“coronavirus confessions”), netizens are sharing stories that were previously kept secret.
Routine
We all had to forget about our usual way of life. Daily news changes our reality.
Follow the advice of Lee Miller (a family therapist in New York) to completely rethink your schedule and redistribute responsibilities.
In New York City, Carrie Ingolia and her husband Ron Richards have developed a successful strategy for juggling remote work (576-square-foot apartment) and raising 15-month-old twins.
How is this couple doing? If Ron has to work, Carrie takes the children on walks or gives them errands to keep them occupied for a while. Another option is to schedule important work meetings (video conferences, calls, etc.) for a time when the children can sleep peacefully in their rooms.
How not to go crazy during self-isolation: rules of communication in the family
Therapy
All of the above tips are a good starting point. However, if the conflict becomes intractable and the situation worsens, you should contact a professional.
Holly Daniels, managing director of clinical practice at the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, says regular therapy can help manage even the most severe anxiety.
Just having someone to talk to is priceless sometimes. People need the help of a therapist more than ever to get through this difficult time, says Holly.
Luckily, today it is easier than ever to connect with a therapist.
As of March 17, the Department of Health and Human Services Office for Civil Rights, which enforces the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA), said it will not penalize providers for failing to comply with HIPAA rules related to the provision of health insurance. Telemedicine services during this period.
What does it mean? Therapists can now use the platform to conduct consultations that were previously “outlawed.” Zoom, FaceTime, Skype — therapists and patients now have a wider choice of communication tools.
Sex
Regular sex has a positive effect on the immune system. However, in practice, many people experience a sudden decrease in libido in stressful situations. And even when everything goes well, partners need to be treated with understanding.
Britney Blair is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist based in Northern California. Now she warns that we must be especially sensitive to each other. If we put pressure on each other, the partner with the strongest desire will feel rejected, and the one who is not in the mood for sex will feel guilty,” she warns.
Additional sources of stress are the last thing we need right now, says Blair.
Little things in life
Now it is very easy to succumb to general panic. Additional stress brings even more problems to your partner. Therefore, it is necessary to shift the focus of attention.
Seattle author Rob Butt says he and his wife (a spiritual counselor) decided to change their lifestyle.
“We used to eat out often. Once this started, I started making pizza from scratch. We used to watch the news during dinner, but now we just turn off the TV and talk,” Bhatt said.
His wife, Daniels, says sometimes it”s enough to just stop, look at your partner and take it all in. A simple “thank you” can make all the difference,” she says.
