Relationship Difficulties: Why Do Conflicts Occur in the Family?
Everyone likes to say that relationship difficulties are a necessary part of a relationship. It”s almost like a “how the steel was tempered” romance—not a mundane attempt to live together, but one that suddenly becomes a family. Modern society is very fond of all sorts of life hacks. From schools for ideal wives and mistresses to attempts to bolster the heavy artillery of philosophy, religion, esotericism, and ancient texts, we have nothing.
Article Contents:
- A typical view from the perspective of domestic traditions
- Relationships and their development
- The vagaries of femininity and masculinity
- Responsibility, its types and forms
- A situation that aggravates relationship difficulties is a child
- The Difficulties of Motherhood
- Minor Everyday Difficulties in Relationships
And when the word “difficulties” is mentioned in every sentence, a person begins to think not about how normal this is because there are no other secrets to attention, but about how to quickly resolve the “Game of Thrones.”
A typical view from the perspective of domestic traditions
Now they are very fond of discussing the roles of men and women in relationships. Even if, moreover, in terms of “this is this, and not that, but not such nonsense.” People with unconventional ideas don”t fit into such patterns and don”t receive the emotional benefit from such an approach.
Nevertheless, after a quick search through social media and forums, this phenomenon can be classified as:
- “He doesn”t want to build a relationship.” “-development,” i. e., burdening himself with a healthy, literate woman and sharing the money he earns with her. “-development,” meaning sitting on Instagram all day, taking two-hour breaks to wave rags in imaginary dust.
My other half doesn”t like friends, it”s a form of leisure and recreation “born in the USSR,” no one wants to go to their dacha, and the discrepancy in desired income is usually commonplace.
In fact, this is a common conflict between expectations and reality. And the universal advice here is to learn to lower expectations or accept reality as it is.
Relationships and their development
A wise woman first looks at a person”s priorities and then creates a relationship with him using the latest information about marriage. Then the happy ones fall in love and think that somehow it happens on its own. Unfortunately, both options may fail. The reason for this is the difference in interests and priorities. Usually, it first becomes clear whether a man needs a family now and whether he is ready for it morally and financially. However, despite the fact that we understand that our interests are radically different, we continue to communicate, and he has no plans to “settle down.”
If the situation is this, then the problem cannot be solved by hysterics, tears and demonstrations of “weak women”. In the same way, difficulties in relationships in the form of “I want to get married, he doesn’t want to get married” do not overcome demonstrative love. This is when a girl behaves like a faithful wife, and not as such, which always means that we are “small”. And the only thing that exists in both cases is salary.
There is only one option — you need to talk to your partner. And be mentally prepared to listen to options for developments that you cannot fully consider. That”s life, and we don”t always meet “perfect matches.”
The vagaries of femininity and masculinity
By the way, the requirement for gender identification is double. Both men and women are unhappy. And both sexes argue about this in the unheated heat. If a man”s mother is trained and does not have a normal career, staying at home, or at least having a job that can provide such behavior in the family, is considered normal and desirable. The fact that men demand this from women, not that they are likely to
When it is discovered that pancakes do not grow on the branches and the house is not cleaned, household chores are chosen. Yes, many go from mother to girl and are completely incompetent in terms of life. At first she somehow resembles herself, then the demand for typically female functions begins.
But little things associated with skirts, their length and shape, are hidden jealousy, a desire to subjugate a partner to oneself. Don”t be upset if a girl chooses a men”s suit instead of jeans and a Pokemon T-shirt. She also wants to conquer. Or rather, look like a serious, mature woman next to a self-sufficient gentleman.
Again, this needs to be discussed and the outcome will depend on the following conditions.
For example, the requirement not to wear a microskirt at 23:00 after work is very reasonable and justified. And in my free time I would like to cook dinner. And a playful order to remove the cups.
However, it is not common to choose a wardrobe for adults, where quitting work and cooking a three-course dinner every day is a requirement, regardless of work, fatigue or health. Yes, adults can agree that one deals with money and the other deals with everyday life. However, the key word here is “agreement”. If this does not happen, the conflict will continue forever until the couple separates.
Responsibility, its types and forms
It is quite strange to demand from a person an immediate “perestroika” when all that has happened in his life is the beginning of living together with a girl. After this fact, it is unlikely that it will be possible to immediately raise skills to the level of “the god of management and business,” since the third eye opens, and the third hand grows like a shovel raking in money. Likewise, the portals of frugality, modesty and motherhood are not open to girls.
Read also: Why disharmony occurs in relationships and how you both should act
It is impossible to underestimate the work of professionals in this direction and the desire of psychologists and sexologists to help people cope with existing problems. But.
He met her at a bar. She got drunk and jumped on the counter. After dancing wildly together, they met the dawn by the river and spent the night at home. Then they started meeting on Fridays and spending weekends together. We came together. On Saturday she went to a bar and danced there. In addition, her favorite cover band performed there. He got offended and left with his friends. A few hours later they met at a bar, where she was dancing at the bar.
The next morning he ignored this question. Do you want to say it, me or the dance? She was offended and went to her mother. What”s wrong with you? In fact, the people themselves could not contribute to the conflict unless they agreed in advance that no one would get drunk or dance on the counter while they were together. As an alternative, they held parties together every Friday.
It is recommended to immediately define the boundaries of the relationship before a long confrontation begins over adulthood and the level of responsibility. This will ensure that there are no problems in the relationship.
A situation that aggravates relationship difficulties is a child
Many people live quite normally as long as both partners are not tied to their home and life. However, the conflict becomes more serious when the man moves and continues to work, and the woman becomes socially isolated due to motherhood.
Children are not only a mother’s problem, they are a problem for two. Responsibility must be shared. Both partners = can sleep, eat, shower and be as socially active as possible. However, in practice it turns out that women cannot sit at home and satisfy their physiological needs, and men either plow two jobs, or work overtime, or live the same way as before.
Conflicts in the family. a family psychologist on how to stop arguing and get out of conflict profitably.
The Difficulties of Motherhood
We often hear radical statements that it would be good to drive women into the kitchen and hang children on them. This is the only way to guarantee the stable reproduction of the human race. For example, smart women do not agree with the loss of careers, voluntary isolation or interaction with bored mothers obsessed with toilets and colic of their children, and a constant lack of time for themselves when there are no tangible consequences of their work.
The only problem with extremists is that they do not understand that they will have no one to raise their children. A father and breadwinner who has done a hundred jobs will probably pat his son on the neck. The woman in the kitchen must teach him to be a man. Who will he grow up to be? Mystic. Here he must either die with a proportionately greater number of jobs, or resign himself to the hellish poverty and stupidity of his offspring and their low cultural level.
But at the end of the day, being a mother is hard work. Yes, you need to give up work in the usual sense of the word for an indefinite period of time. Statutes are a lottery. You can win, be born a calm person without problems, scream at night, interfere with making money on the Internet, read books on your profession, attend webinars and not leave the circle of experts. And you can lose, and the child needs constant attention, supervision and care 24 hours a day.
This is explained by the fact that girls are in no hurry to give birth as soon as possible. They are used to relying only on themselves and want to save money just to take their mind off work. This is not bad, considering that they have to pay for decent medical care and buy quite a lot of expensive things.
The theory about rabbits being somehow provided for by lawns is quite irresponsible and emotional. Therefore, of course, such a decision is understandable when a man who wants a child falls in love with a childfree person, if there is no difference in the underlying interests in the situation.
Minor Everyday Difficulties in Relationships
She slept early in the morning, her hair scattered across the pillow, and her mouth was slightly open. Angel? Not really, but considering she was watching Game of Thrones through the speakers late at night, he could get up early and go to work. What could she do, she also wrote reviews on “Game” fan sites, she couldn’t miss the next episode, and during the day the dog chewed on her headphones.
She works at home and prepares food at the same time. Arriving home, he discovered that his favorite ketchup had run out. Tired and hungry, he stands in line, remembering the “game”, the columns, his dreams of peaceful mornings and his low-paying job as a serial critic.
What”s happened? Only two tired adults quarreled. In the old days, when families were created to survive, this was not even considered a quarrel. Nowadays, this may be the reason why they stop communicating for months.
The daily habits of partners irritate almost everyone in the first few months of marriage. Many people live like this, without buying headphones, without learning to drink ketchup in the store and without swearing every day at this wonderful opportunity.
Perfectionists say that you can’t live like this and recommend that couples consult a psychologist. Realists — that there is no need to overwhelm yourself with problems when this is not the case. It is enough to isolate your audio equipment from headphones, ketchup and dogs.
It’s another matter when difficulties in relationships are caused not by the partner’s everyday habits, but by radical disregard for his “other side.” I work a lot, so I watch TV late and let my wife sleep the way she wants because she sits at home with the kids and does nothing. I”m tired, so I paint my toenails while lying in bed, and my boyfriend makes me go to the balcony all the time. Likewise, he smokes there every hour. This approach implies that the person is selfish and does not want to build relationships at all. Only in this situation can you think about whether the difficulties in a relationship are worth overcoming, or whether they are just problems.
