First love is never forgotten. This means that the lessons from it are not forgotten.
There is one thing in our life, the flow of which we judge as love. It can be different: parental, romantic, passionate, unhappy and, of course, the first. This is the first love, which is the hardest and most joyful to experience.
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The fact is that feelings experienced for the first time leave a huge mark on consciousness and memory. Trial and error experience takes place over many years. This helps a person become better and develop new and better qualities. Others do not learn lessons for themselves, they begin to blame the situation and blame others for all their failures.
Today we will talk about what first love is. How often does it end with a happy ending? Are there couples in the world who managed to preserve each other”s honor throughout their lives? We also understand how we feel about a difficult first breakup and what we should learn from it.
Definition of first love
A huge number of people say that they first experienced the feeling of love at a very young age. In most cases, examples are given of boys and girls who love in kindergarten or elementary school.
We believe that first love can be called not only the unconscious feelings of a child associated with studying the world around him and interest in the characteristics of people of the opposite sex. Our conversations are based on real, strong emotions that people can recognize. This is important because it is then that a person understands important life theses, what he wants and what repulses him most.
First love is a passionate desire to be close to the object of your sympathy. Relationships are not always built on reciprocity; they often leave a trace of sadness and longing in the heart. Some people ask questions in style. What will happen if he even looks at me? “, “Why did my first experience, which never began, end?”
We all relate to these emotions differently, but most often they bring a nostalgic smile to our lips. Something that ended a long time ago does not hurt as much as when we are under emotional stress.
How do most people feel about their first serious crush on another person? The attitude of adults is that our first love flares up and goes out as quickly as the stars in the night sky. It passes us by and leaves behind many pleasant and negative feelings. Thanks to the fact that both of them are as strong as possible, we remember this feeling until the end of time.
What do professional psychologists think about this? Their opinion boils down to the fact that every person should experience the vivid emotion of falling in love. All these experiences of happiness and disappointment directly affect the formation of character. Moreover, in life a person often begins to be guided by the rules and conclusions that he came to during his formation.
They call the breakup of a relationship a particularly important moment. When teenagers and young adults find themselves in a situation of intense emotions and complete sadness, they begin to listen to themselves more. If you stop communicating and leave things alone when you fight with your friends, it will take you a long time to get over your first love. You understand that not everyone will always be with you, even if you want to spend the rest of your life with them more than anything else.
Each of us draws our own conclusions from our first breakup. Depending on the length of the relationship, its depth, the presence of betrayal, or the amicable ending of the relationship, people romanticize the following. This is especially difficult for those who have decided to become angry with life and begin to treat people as consumers. There always comes a moment in their life when all the built-up defenses collapse and many difficulties are revealed.
Therefore, it is recommended not to ignore intuition. Listen to yourself. Even if at a particular moment you feel very bad and difficult, know that everything will pass. Find the strength to learn useful lessons from the situations that happen to you. This is a way of analyzing the first completed relationship. This approach allows you to avoid repeating your mistakes in the future, form an image of the person you would like to see as your life partner, and create rules of behavior.
When first love appears
As already mentioned, first love happens to young children. At this age, not everyone can experience strong feelings for another person. Children often behave aggressively. Moreover, they are completely innocent, since they do not know how to distinguish between black and white, evil and good.
When a child does something wrong, it causes more emotions in others than positive behavior. That”s why kids often fight, cry, and hurt vulnerable people. It would be wonderful if young children could develop warm, trusting relationships.
In the younger groups of kindergartens, teachers notice that little boys are trying to help the princesses. Meanwhile, the girls return his affection and attention. It is very interesting to watch such children”s love. Children are sincere in all their manifestations. At this point, they often agree to get married as soon as they grow up, or agree to always be close together without separation.
Read also: Platonic love: what does it mean for both sexes?
Platonic love — everyone knows what it means, and there are even people who have lived or are living in such relationships. It only exists without physical intimacy.
In very rare cases, couples form in kindergarten and remain together for the rest of their lives. However, children who experience strong emotions already know that they can experience deviations towards the opposite sex, and they need to be vigilant and patient.
Such naive, but in itself beautiful love always leaves a pleasant, bright trace in the memory. Because young children do not understand all the complexities of interpersonal relationships, they easily break up and soon almost forget this stage.
Conscious feelings take possession of us at different ages. In most cases, first love is associated with puberty. This phase is characterized by a surge of adrenaline, exploration of unusual feelings and impressions, and frequent changes in mood and interests.
Teenage girls can fall in love with a man over nothing. Let”s say he has a charming smile or sings beautifully at a school concert. Young people may also prefer either the quirky socialite who hungrily looks out the classroom window and listens to hard rock, or the hardest-working brilliant student who responds to any request for help.
At this age, teenagers often fall in love as they begin to notice different personality traits. We are drawn to places we have never been. Hence the love for bad boys, mean girls and teachers. The appearance of a young mind can permeate even the most subtle details and spin them into mesmerizingly vast grandeur.
Why do you remember the feelings of first love so vividly? The fact is that we love the person himself, and not our new feelings. We are all very interested in feeling something unfamiliar. Remember that when you first fell in love, there was often a lot of pain, but there were also very pleasant moments. These emotional fluctuations are exhausting, but they are not easy to stop.
When we fall in love with another person, we answer our own questions about identity. First love pushes us to open our eyes in a new way. At this time, it’s very good to cry into your pillow to a sad melody and feel sorry for yourself. For the first time, it becomes less interesting to be jealous, to quarrel, to sort things out. Overall, this feeling is so rare and unexpected that it cannot be ignored.
Moreover, first love does not require complete self-control or restrictions. Young people rarely ask questions about their future, at least not on their own. It is drawn easily by him and, of course, by the joints. It is another matter when an adult rationalist enters into a relationship with a young mind: a young mind is not a rationalist, but a rationalist, and an adult rationalist is not a rationalist. This is where moralizing and education begins, but in most cases to no avail.
Natalia Buchinskaya and Dmitry Gordon — “First Love” (2008)
Lived together all our lives
A little statistics will never hurt us. Most first relationships seem doomed to fail. Statistics around the world suggest otherwise. Even when couples go their separate ways to pursue new experiences and nurture unexpected emotions, two out of five men still choose their first love as their wife.
Another question is that the number of divorces here is no less than that of couples who get together at an adult age. Often men cannot overcome great stress together. They move on, go to university and change. Partners are not always able to accept the reincarnation of the person they have chosen. In an instant, you can become a completely different person than you were at school.
However, there are many examples of people starting families soon after graduating from school or university and living together for a long time. Of course, it”s impossible to compare these figures with divorce and separation statistics. But the fact remains: eternal love and friendship are very real.
There are also examples among world celebrities. It”s not that the love between actor Adriano Celentano and his beautiful wife Claudia Mori was their first, but they lived together for over 50 years. Their close family circle testifies to the perfection of their family relationship. Adriano still looks lovingly at his beautiful wife.
The brilliant director Federico Fellini shared a long life with the beautiful actress Giulietta Masin. She was always by his side during filming, and he called her his main muse. Their love is also rarely called first. But the fact is that emotions flared instantly—the director and actress married just two weeks after meeting. How to Survive a Tumultuous Breakup
How to survive a stormy breakup
First, perceive each situation as an important life experience. The more lessons you”re willing to learn, the more new facets you see in yourself, the more likely you are to meet the best people on the planet. The secret is simple: we only receive what we transmit. You have the power to attract the right person and make them happy. Accordingly, they will strive to bring joy into your life.
Second, listen to your inner voice. Some people are afraid to be with them. Indeed, when first love ends, a difficult stage begins. You definitely feel sad and bored. Here, you”re saving yourself, not the person; you”ve lost the relationship and the person. The ability to love them, alone, is very helpful in adulthood.
It also allows you to experience the pleasant taste of solitude. Couples who value personal space are happy and love each other much longer than those who don”t. It”s much worse when they start using others to fill the void.
Thirdly, intense, painful experiences are no less valuable than positive ones. The grief and sadness of lost love have helped countless people unlock their hidden creative potential. Some begin writing amazing lyrical poetry, others pick up a brush and paint vibrant natural landscapes. Or you”re destined to discover a talent for music or dance.
The most important thing first love gives us is a lasting, cherished memory. Try to find the positive in every situation. Remember that with time, everything will work out. Only pleasant memories and valuable experiences remain.
Via “flame.” Song “This Will Never Happen Again” (1978)
