How to make peace with a guy after a quarrel? What nuances to consider?
It is perhaps rare that a love union can proceed without disputes and disagreements. On the one hand, such phenomena are absolutely normal and natural. But, on the other hand, this can lead to a breakdown in relations and entail deeply hidden res of the partners. How to make peace after a quarrel and what to do about it?
Contents of the article:
What do psychologists advise:?
Quarrels are a normal occurrence in any family, but it is important to find common ground and be patient. If we are talking about the desire to preserve the union, then there is no place for pride. Of course, if we are not talking about betrayal on someone’s part.
However, oddly enough, even in the happiest families there are disagreements, perhaps even swearing during the cooking process, even at home. The only difference is that such men and women remember their relationships in time, work for a long time and do not want to lose them because of everyday trifles. But since today we are talking about reconciliation, let”s talk about the rules by which the dispute ends successfully.
Psychology
Before you understand how to make peace after a quarrel, it is worth remembering that the psychology of women and men is different. It is normal and common for a woman to scream and express her emotions because her mood changes several times a day. For a man, such a phenomenon is unusual and rare for him. After all, his emotional state is much more stable than that of his peers.
Thus, the woman is ready to quickly get out of the scandal and tune in to normal waves of communication. Psychologists advise men to sort out the conflict in their heads in time. You shouldn’t immediately hang yourself on his neck, talk about your mistake and ask him to start all over again. A person needs to think about what happened, about every word said. Therefore, the best solution is to give him time to rest.
He can go to a friend”s house, take a walk with the dog, or sit quietly at his laptop before work. Don’t bother with doubts, don’t try to convict him of something. A man just wants to relax after a conflict, relax and relieve tension.
As a sign of reconciliation, you can invite him to dinner in a calm voice and talk during the meal. Psychologists advise not to make an ostentatious celebration out of the reconciliation process. This is unacceptable and stupid. After all, arguing is a normal, everyday occurrence, and reconciliation should be the same.
If a woman said offensive words, you should apologize at dinner and say that it was said in a fit of anger.
What should a man do?
Men are not necessarily the initiators if everything is clear and unambiguous with women, if they clearly understand that they think most about how to behave after a quarrel in order to make peace. Thus, they are not fully aware of all the intricacies of the female psychic organization. If the companion has to be left after one conflict, then the companion is for nothing!
For men, loneliness after a scandal is a common event that can relieve stress and tension. For women, on the other hand, it can be a period of stress and active paranoia, allowing them to think to themselves that the resentment is lingering for a few more weeks. While a man can go to work and completely immerse himself in work after a conflict, a woman cannot. She thinks about the fight, considers it from all sides and points of view and comes up with several new phrases and options for the outcome of the event. And leaving her alone in this state is dangerous and fraught with consequences. Therefore, if a man initiates a quarrel, he should stay close to his other half and maintain communication.
Control
Self-control is important in relationships to avoid many confrontational situations. A woman who has learned all the basics of self-control can even be considered a wise woman. After all, women are more emotional and hot-tempered and therefore more likely to hear unpleasant things from mouth to mouth during conflict.
Of course, this does not negate the fact that hysterical personalities also exist in men, but this is not what we are talking about now. A woman must learn to control her outbursts of hatred and strive to reduce her enthusiasm in the post-conflict period. Therefore, she should not approach her partner after an argument if the devil is still playing within.
Read also: How to apologize to a guy and make peace with him after a quarrel
Even the strongest couples cannot do without quarrels. After clarifying the relationship again, the resentment falls heavily on the hearts of both, and I want everything as quickly as possible.
Sit down, turn on some calming music, find a comfortable position, close your eyes, and relax. Remain in this state for 20-30 minutes. During meditation, there should be no resentments or negative thoughts in your mind. Only positive ones. After you”ve fully relaxed, you can approach the man and start a conversation. The main thing is to remain calm and not give in to negative thoughts. Otherwise, it could lead to another argument with memories of past events, accusations, and harsh remarks. Who needs such consequences? No one.
Silence
Everyone needs support in difficult times, especially after a fight with a loved one. In such moments, you seek warmth, support, and kind words. That”s why we often turn to friends, colleagues, and parents and tell them in detail what happened. Psychologists say this can have a detrimental effect on us, so it”s best to keep all the details of the argument to yourself.
Yes, of course, it”s wrong and foolish to see everyone as an enemy. But no one talks about the enemy side. After all, even excessive concern for relatives can become a negative factor in a relationship with a partner who has quarreled. And one more thing: we all know how many opinions people have. Therefore, when we talk to someone about a situation, we automatically subscribe to criticism, because they may disagree with our point of view. For example, calling on your partner to support their position only reduces the chances of a peaceful reconciliation.
How to make peace after a fight? A man”s opinion (Oleg Bratus, official channel)
Therefore, it is not advisable to visit friends or parents about any family problems or show up at work. If you need help, seek professional help who can understand your specific situation and resolve the dispute.
Don”t be humiliated!
In most cases, it”s the woman who first thinks about how to make peace with a man after a fight. They primarily lack attention and care from their partner. Here, she deserves special attention. Taking the first step isn”t a problem. Humiliation is not.
How to normalize reconciliation? Give the man time to rest from the quarrel, do not touch him for several hours or wait until he returns from work. Don”t bombard him with text messages with apologies, smiley faces, and kisses. As a last resort, ask what time he will arrive for dinner. At this stage, prepare the products. You can put a bottle of good wine on the table.
Everything is minimal, and you don’t need to set the table like on New Year’s. When he returns home, greet him politely and hug him, call him to the table, make a speech, followed by an apology and resolution of the situation. Speak in a confident voice, smile, don”t cry or scream.
Why can”t I apologize to my boyfriend? What does humiliation look like? Write dozens of SMS a day with apologies and pictures of love, set the festive table, lick the entire apartment before his arrival, buy him what he has long wanted, and strangle him when he comes home from work.
Then they cry half the night to prove something and provoke a new quarrel. Such situations do not bring a man joy and happiness, but only remind him of the complete emotional dependence of his partner. Needless to say, dependent women get bored very quickly?
Some tips
In order to prevent fights in time or at least reduce the threshold of their severity, you must follow several rules:
- Control your emotions. Don”t mention something serious in anger that could offend your partner. Don”t mention relatives or express personal dislike for your parents. All this can leave an important mark on a relationship.
- There is no need to talk about future revenge or betrayal. If minor conflicts arise, do not immediately threaten betrayal or separation. Just words are acceptable. A man can take them literally and do the same.
- Don”t rush into the arms of your ex-lover or mistress to further harm your partner. In such cases, even if there was no intimacy, the unpleasant truth may soon come out and cause serious damage to the relationship.
- Do not show excessive emotions, do not hit the plate and do not damage the property acquired together. There is a possibility of running into an inadequate and hysterical person in the presence of your beloved partner. In such cases, trust in the alliance will be reduced to zero and may lead to a break in the relationship.
- There is no need to manipulate children during a conflict. Don”t threaten your partner that the children will be against him. This can provoke people and lead to serious proceedings. Children are the result of the joint efforts of lovers, and each of them has the same rights to their children. Therefore, you should not drag him into everyday quarrels or problems.
- Don”t swear in front of your child. It is known that in most cases children inherit the character of one of the parents and adopt the model of family relationships. It is unlikely that any parent would want their child to have such a contradictory relationship.
And if quarrels become more and more frequent and interfere with the life of the whole family, do not hesitate to contact a qualified specialist. The main thing to remember is that a relationship is the work of two partners, and if one of them is not going to create a strong and happy family, you should not expect improvement. It”s easier to leave this person and move on to a more preferable life.
