The devil is in the details: what will prevent friendship with exes
Can I be friends with the first one? This is one of the most common questions asked to sexologists. Of course, this is rarely the reality if, after a breakup, one or both partners experience anger, rejection, despair and generally remorse for the “years lived in vain.” But if the breakup occurs in a calm atmosphere and without scandal, is it possible to maintain friendship? Or is it better to say goodbye forever?
Contents of the article:
Before becoming friends with an ex, consider the main points to take into account.
Nostalgia
The main obstacle is maintaining romantic feelings. No matter what, people who were once our partners continue to evoke emotional reactions in us in the future. And even if we are not talking about negative emotions, these experiences can be very painful and even traumatic. On an unconscious level, after a separation or divorce, every time we meet, there remains nostalgia, sadness and a desire to return everything, when the mood remains high.
Jealousy of current partners (and your jealousy too)
Another point that sexologists and psychologists constantly mention is the potential feeling of jealousy on the part of the new partner. After a breakup, a person has every right to arrange his life as he sees fit. Continuing a relationship with him or her in the form of friendship may harm your ex-partner”s new relationship. It may turn out that his new passion was tested at the very beginning of the relationship.
Read also: Why remain friends with ex-partners and is it necessary?
All relationships have an end. Some end with the registry office and a trip to the altar, others with farewell. Often, after breaking up, people decide to remain friends. But.
On the other hand, many people feel uncomfortable seeing their ex with their new lover. Men find it difficult to imagine their ex-partner in the arms of another. A similar scene with her ex-husband gives the woman a little more comfort. However, friendship involves chance encounters and involves watching similar scenes.
The difference is in motivation
It also happens that one of the partners completely loses tender feelings for the other. The second partner, on an unconscious level, still wants to give everything away. In this case, friendship is very useful for love. After all, he always has some kind of “alternate airfield” at hand. Call him at any time of the day and he runs on his hind legs. The problem is that this partner still seems to have hope for the future. However, this is nothing more than sweet self-deception.
Explaining the ending of the movie The devil is in the details
Appearing in public together
Another unpleasant consequence of friendship with the first. You will definitely be seen together in public places. And it is likely that these are people with whom you can build new relationships in the future.
Lack of common interests
No matter how much we condemn society for relying solely on sexual interest in relationships, many couples still continue to do so. In other words, their life and communication together are based primarily on physical intimacy. Psychologists believe that in this case friendship with the first is undesirable. After all, after physical attraction fades, there is little chance that the relationship will reach a new level.
Each person decides for himself whether to be a friend or to be friends with the former. However, it is important to consider the explanations given in this release. At the end of the day, the best thing to do after a breakup is to start over with a clean slate.
