The path to yourself: how to understand that you are a lesbian and accept it
It has been scientifically proven that sexual orientation is a variant of the norm. However, not all citizens of all countries hold such views. Therefore, heterosexual people are not forced to reflect their “normality” and experience an identity crisis. “How do you know you”re a lesbian?” It”s very scary to say out loud, and here”s why.
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Often, determining and accepting sexual orientation is a long and difficult process that requires great emotional investment. People need to determine which floor they are assigned to and answer many other questions. For example, how do loved ones, especially parents and friends, react? Can they accept it?
When does a person become aware of their orientation?
People usually become aware of their sensory preferences during adolescence. It starts around age 12 and ends by age 20. Ripe marshmallows cause attraction, and it is quite reasonable to ask the question — who are boys or girls directed towards?
Statistics show that it is during adolescence that people determine their orientation and begin to live in accordance with this knowledge. Some people follow the path of acceptance, others try to suppress their real self and play an acceptable social role.
It is important to understand that sexual orientation is not a conscious choice of a person, but a given. After all, no one tries to change their mind by force of will, right? As a small confirmation, here is our article about the history of “How I Became a Lesbian.”
Attempts to deny our unique nature lead to discomfort and depression. Sooner or later, the person who has been faking everything in his life has to face the consequences of that decision and answer to those he deceived and, more importantly, to himself.
Cast off the burden of stereotypes
Stereotypes are born as a result of the fact that people divide the world into “normal” and “abnormal”. Children absorb social stereotypes literally from the first years of life and perceive them as the only truth. The discrepancy between such norms causes stressful situations, because they are not the same as those of others and are very bad.
The most common social roles of women are the business-minded daughter, the faithful wife who always plays the role of keeper of her husband”s hearth, and the caring mother. Many believe that every woman”s duty is to be a wife and mother.
However, this is not true. A woman can be who she wants to be and has every right to never marry or have children. And, of course, a woman can love another woman and have a healthy romantic relationship with her partner.
First of all, you need to accept the truth that matters most to you. Homosexuality is just as normal as heterosexuality. This will help you engage in an internal dialogue with yourself and understand your preferences without negativity and unnecessary stress.
Read also: How do you know if this is the right person for you and if you”ve made the right choice?
“the same,” “the same” — how are they defined? What is the mysterious “other half”? Is the man you”re currently dating right for you?
Be free and love yourself for who you are!
Sexologists argue that a person”s sexual preferences are never-ending and change according to their nature. Therefore, it”s impossible to establish norms. For example, many lesbians appreciate the aesthetics of a naked male body, and bisexuals often prefer the ground floor, but don”t consider themselves to be homosexual or heterosexual.
Instead of taking numerous, completely useless tests to determine sexual orientation, delving into the Kinsey scale, searching for articles on the topic, poring over forums, exhausted by the desire to accurately determine who you are, start truly understanding your sexuality and doing what you desire much more. In this case, the answer will not be long in coming.
Have you developed an interest in women? Excellent! You need to satisfy it, communicate, meet, and have sex according to mutual desire. It might be more than that, but if not, it should still be a positive experience that brings joy to life. To achieve this, you don”t need to get hung up on any labels.
Talk to a therapist.
Talk to a therapist
How to find a girl if you are a lesbian?
How to find a girl if you are a lesbian?
Coming out and outing
Each person decides whether to speak or remain silent about their preferences, so as not to face negative reactions or discrimination. This must be a very informed decision, and you must be mentally prepared for the consequences. You also need to be very selective about the people you open this personal aspect of your life to in order to avoid shutting out.
All life is a small escape. In front of parents, friends and colleagues. Don”t take unnecessary risks with people who don”t have the highest level of trust because they are designed to make life easier, not harder.
LGBT+ community: communication with those who understand
LGBT+ community: communication with those who understand
Despite the fact that there are not many LGBT+ organizations and institutions in CI, almost every major city has places where “theme people” meet. These are safe spaces where you cannot regain your social role, but you yourself are surrounded by the same people.
Another way to meet community members is through the Internet. There are various dating apps, information resources and forums. For many people, chatting online is the best option because it allows them to remain anonymous.
Remember: love has no gender, and sexual orientation does not define a person as a person. Accept yourself and live every day in accordance with your worldview. This is the secret of happiness.
Way, understand, lesbian, accept
