What is true male friendship? Golden rules and examples.
Male friendship is the stuff of legends and songs. But the modern concept of friendship is so distorted that the same story about a friend rushing to the hospital with a friend in his arms seems false. What defines friendship today? What lies at the heart of true friendship between men?
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Ask most men how they met their friends, and they”ll tell you they”ve known each other since childhood. Time spent interacting with other men is a decisive factor. Indeed, over the years, situations arise when it becomes clear who in a social circle can be trusted and who can”t. Over decades of friendship, a person can easily name those who would come to their aid if needed. People over 25 remember their kindergarten friends. Perhaps the friendship began with one boy letting another play Batman in the yard. Gradually, some yard cliques fall apart. Some move to another city, others start hanging out with the neighborhood bullies, and the interactions become futile. Somehow, time eliminates all those people who don”t connect.
Examples of True Friendship
Examples of True Friendship
It was the 1990s, no one had a cell phone, and the nearest house was three kilometers away, so, out of boredom, the friends decided to carry their “injured” friend in their arms. Two carriers, two insurance companies. As a result, the boy was taken to the hospital two hours later.
It”s unknown who acted at that moment, but one thing is clear: the boy was unharmed. Few people today would dare carry a friend from the forest to the nearest hospital.
The only question that arises is why his other friends stayed with him until the end and didn”t abandon him in the forest, saying, “We can help.” Above all, he understands that only he can truly help his friends.
Of course, you could leave someone with him while the others run to his aid. However, it”s important to remember that this is a stressful situation and that everyone involved is 12 years old.
It reminds me of the movie “Forrest Gump.” The main character ends up in Vietnam during the war. His unit comes under fire, and the unit commander”s leg is blown off. The commander is saved only because Forrest loved running all his life and ran out from under the artillery fire with the commander on his back.
Since then, the commander has become his only true friend and business partner.
Do you think that to build a true friendship, you need to overcome great difficulties together? This is partly true. Soldiers who have taken part in combat confirm this.
On the other hand, a friend becomes someone who has experienced a good time or an important moment for one of their friends. For example, one friend was into boxing or wrestling, participating in the Russian championship, and the other went with him to cheer. The second friend had to go to work, but he took him along and went with his fellow athlete. Such seemingly insignificant things form truly strong friendships and mutual trust.
Modern Concepts of Friendship
Modern Concepts of Friendship
It”s quite common today to meet people online. This is how they meet and form friendships. In both cases, people don”t share a common history or experience. Therefore, friendships don”t stand the test of time.
It”s enough for one friend to declare their interest. This leads to arguments, divorces, and the changing of maiden names. It has been established that self-interest takes precedence over the interests of friends.
Another situation is that, according to the modern concept of friendship, a man can safely fight for a girl if they both like her. And it doesn”t matter how many years these people have been together or how much they”ve been through.
Another very noticeable phenomenon is friendship for profit. One person has very good connections or is not the last person in a large organization. The other man tries to communicate with him as often as possible, simply because he needs to take advantage of his position. And for this second person, it doesn’t matter at all what his so-called friend is going through and what goals he sets for himself. He shows feigned interest, but nothing more.
Now this is also considered normal. If there is a connection, it is better not to use it — this is what this person thinks. And all his friendships are formed on the basis that he communicates with the “right” people.
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Usually, if a man”s social status is much higher and he really wants to help his friend, he himself will offer him help. Naturally, every person cannot occupy a high position or have a lot of money, but this is not a reason to hide behind friendship and use people for your own purposes.
Such friendships can be called “playing games” or “friendships for status.” Indeed, in such communication, men seek only personal gain.
Unspoken rules of male friendship
Unspoken Rules of Male Friendship
Men always stick to their friends and have their back in any situation. These rules are based on concepts such as “dependency”. A person who is an unreliable friend is an unreliable employee, an unreliable family member and an unreliable businessman.
If a friend is in trouble or a serious confrontation is brewing, a real man unquestioningly comes to the aid of his friend. Help can be very different. Advice, business, usual presence — an expression of care and attention to a friend’s problems is considered help.
There are also humorous parables. A true friend jumps into it with a kick.
A true friend does not refuse a friend”s request. Naturally, if this request is not justified. Again, it is important to understand how to address your friend when introducing him.
If he has been saving money for an important purchase for a long time and every penny matters, he will probably find it difficult to borrow 100 rubles for beer. However, if he needs these 100 rubles to solve the problem of life and death, he will not refuse.
Therefore, the validity of a particular request is determined by the individual and the circumstances.
Girl friends are untouchable. In other words, if you want to flirt with your best friend”s girlfriend, it”s worth packing a spare set of teeth. Because in this situation a person invades the sacred. This is an intimate relationship between a man and a woman. And yes, sex is not necessarily sex.
Any attempt to shift your attention to your beloved best friend can be regarded as betrayal. Of course, it all depends on the circumstances, but it’s better not to tempt fate at all.
Friendship and business are not interchangeable. This goes against the rules about trustworthy friends, but it”s not worth the risk. Psychologists and even businessmen say that friendship ends where business begins.
Men can give money to create a business project, but never participate in it as partners. In addition, in business the interests of co-owners often do not coincide.
True friends, sincere in every way. This is also expressed in gifts. In a bookstore, if a person sees a book that he really wanted, but really wants to give it to a friend, he will buy it to give it as a gift. The question arises whether a person wants to give to those in need.
In life. If a person realizes that he cannot advise his friend anything worthwhile, he simply says that he does not know what to say. That”s why people say that only friends tell the bitter truth. And only a real man will come to an eastern feast with an accessible friend, but will say: “I give you good health!” He says, “I will give you health. And drink all the alcohol.
The person does not have personal problems or experiences with a friend, and the friend does not bother with advice. This is because issues such as disputes with the wife are decided only between the husband and wife. However, it is not particularly common for men to complain about such things.
However, if necessary, men always come to the rescue. Situations when a friend takes off his shirt only to help a friend characterize male friendship.
Tell me who your friend is and I will tell you who you are! It was found that people”s observance of this set of rules characterizes them. If in life a person allowed himself to tell a friend about this, he was not asked about it, but at work he tried to spread advice that he was not asked about.
Understanding that these rules are advisory in nature should make a man think about how he communicates with his friends. He may be following the rules of male friendship, but one of his friends is probably just pretending to be a friend.
These rules are also a litmus test for male friendships.
Friendship and friendship are not the same thing
Friendship and Camaraderie Are Not the Same
If friends can have a beer after work, then friends can get together and talk about everything. Male friendships are characterized by the rules of male friendship and male communication.
It is with a friend that a person can organize joint affairs; one can always quarrel with him without remorse. On the other hand, men do not build a common business with real friends just because friendship is more valuable to them than money.
Involuntarily, the person himself understands who he can turn to for help in difficult situations, and cannot even speak if a problem arises. Against the background of this understanding, a person forms his real social circle.
Napoleon Hill wrote about concepts such as “brain-centeredness.” However, the differences between American concepts are too great. Hill”s think tanks are made up of people who are close to the same goal, but have different skills. But you won”t go to the cinema with these people, you won”t let them go to the bathhouse for your birthday, you won”t take them to a barbecue.
I say this because the concepts of “friend”, “buddy” and “business partner” need to be separated. The Russian mentality does not imply friendship with business partners. A business may be unprofitable, and, of course, it is necessary to find the reasons. And that reason could be a friend who is not doing his job perfectly. The choice is obvious — it must be rejected, and this is where the problem arises.
Friends cannot fire each other on the grounds that the business is the only source of income for the fired person. Getting fired is tantamount to creating life problems for a friend.
However, a man can calmly dismiss his friend. And I cannot baptize my children with him — a simple formulation that characterizes all friendly relationships. In addition, in the USA, friendship is placed on the same level as friendship, but the entire concept of friendship is encrusted with the rules of male friendship.
To call a person your friend, a real man comes to the conclusion that he needs to spend years with him. In addition, in communication, men should share each other”s interests and opinions and accept the characteristics of their comrades. Many difficulties and interesting episodes can bring friends together. The main thing is that psychologically men are confident in their girlfriends, as in themselves, and this will be mutual.
The difference between female and male friendship
