Who should take the first step: wait for your “knight” or approach yourself
Life does not stand still. Psychologists publish new scientific works about relationships, society develops and changes its habits. However, conflicts have been going on for more than ten years, who should take the first step. During this time, many facts were presented proving the correctness of one side or another. But, as expected, the most reasonable answer turned out to be quite unexpected.
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But it was before
If a person likes a representative of the opposite sex, he must make every effort to ensure that beauty makes a choice in his favor. This was achieved through all sorts of continuations, compliments, dates, etc. The girl could choose between consent and refusal. In fact, the happiness of a beautiful woman depended on the whim of a man. But the times of glorious knights and duels are in the past. With them came progressive restrictions on women”s rights.
Ask the older generation (grandmothers, aunties) where you should take your first steps, and the answer will be unequivocal — with men. Since men are essentially “predators” and conquerors, the initiative should be in their hands. Moreover, this applies not only to the beginning of a relationship, but also to all important decisions in life together, from choosing an apartment to the color of the carpet in the hallway. Many people laugh at this, but such seniority was quite normal. A woman’s place is in the kitchen, men should be “men”—all these are stereotypes of the past.
Everything changes
With new habits come new times. Today, promising girls occupy the post of director and can manage dozens of “leaders”. These days, some women choose to pay for themselves and essentially make the appointment first. Currently, representatives of both sexes can choose any fate for themselves. No one will criticize a beauty if she evokes sympathy for her person.
This word should be excluded from any dispute about close acquaintance or the beginning of a relationship. The first step must be taken by the one who feels compassion and love. Otherwise, how will potential partners understand what they want?
Psychologists who urge not to apply this concept, or psychologists who have or should have a similar opinion. Many girls want to see initiative on the part of a possible gentleman. Guys like it when a man pays attention and emphasizes her beauty — in a word — he looks after her. Also, if a man acquires a beautiful person, he gets pleasure.
Read also: Should a girl write to a guy first: a scientific point of view
Should a girl text a guy first? This is a general question that sooner or later everyone decides for themselves. He who seeks the answer relies on his own.
However, passive expectations can be fatal to a possible union. He is afraid of rejection, but she “doesn’t want to impose.” What restrictions and rules can we talk about if a free person is sincerely interested in another?
Why are men passive?
Against the background of growing female independence, the male part of the population increasingly prefers to sit on the sidelines. If you can wait, why bother if there is something that will do it all by itself? However, the following are factors contributing to the development of such infantilism:
- Natural modesty and indecision of an individual man.
- Fear of the child”s complex and rejection.
- Reluctance to take responsibility for one”s actions. Uncertainty in life is when a person does not know exactly what he wants.
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How and when is the best time to take the first step?
As mentioned above, who should make the first move is determined not by gender or social status, but by emotional involvement. And the circumstances under which a man takes the initiative are also clear and simple. What to do with a girl if the object of her adoration is immobile and shy or has suppressed character traits?
- If a young man is not sure of his attractiveness, a girl can push him to positive actions. A direct but soft conversation will do, but you should refrain from transparent hints — the man will not understand because he did not try to approach.
- However, if a man belongs to a strong and confident type, but wants to show that he is interested in a woman, then it is better to go the opposite way. The girl should say that she doesn”t care whether the gentleman starts courting her or not. This is done through nonverbal signs (feelings, behavior, gestures), clothing, and demonstrating one”s good intentions.
When men start to fully embrace women, they are not talking about equality. Flowers, gifts and restaurants put partners in charge. And now beauty is the one who chooses and accepts such rules of the game or takes the initiative on its part.
Stupid Women Initiative. Relationship manipulation|Mira Levchuk
