Why can”t you build a relationship with your partner? We study the main reasons
There are times in life when it seems that relationships are not working out. And there are those who seem to have so few signs of attention and desire. But nothing happens. Are you used to seeing this? If yes, then it’s worth figuring out why the relationship isn’t developing.
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Many people look for reasons in their partners, not wanting to admit that the reasons may lie in themselves. And indeed, if all this happened, it was “because he/she is like this.” But, as a rule, the reason lies precisely in the applicant, because he/she sets the search parameters and is looking for a relationship that clearly failed on a psychological level. The reason may lie in many factors. Here are just a few of them:
Post-traumatic syndrome from childhood
Psychologists are convinced that a child’s experiences have a significant impact on how a future person develops. It is he who forms preferences and attachments, and everyone tries to be satisfied in adulthood.
Those who had a happy childhood with loving parents, lots of friends and lots of adventures have nothing to worry about. And those whose childhoods didn”t go so smoothly have to spend a lot of time eradicating their fears and recovering from failed relationships in order to build strong, healthy relationships in the future.
Some people build relationships to achieve something they didn”t have as a child. For example, people from disadvantaged families often try to create their own family as soon as possible, since they are not taken away from their parents and really need male/female attention. Or if the father or mother in the family abuses the child, then when he grows up, he tries to leave home as soon as possible and lead an independent life. They then try to build a strong relationship as quickly as possible. In practice, however, in most cases this happens to everyone. In other words, it is able to make up for the initial attention or lack thereof.
This approach to choosing a satellite is simply doomed to failure. It is very rare that a relationship that offers to remove a child”s trauma or tries to escape from a family member is nothing more than an illusion. People want to meet their partner”s savior and hope that he will help them overcome their psychological problems. However, this is just an illusion. In order to improve relationships, a person must first understand himself.
Categorical location to satellites
There is no point in rejecting a potential partner. Because on the first date I didn’t like anything about his behavior. Not everyone is honest. Of course, everyone has their own tastes and preferences. However, if at first glance a person does not suit the parameters of appearance, habits or character traits, there is no need to immediately give up on him.
By labeling a person and not giving him the opportunity to show positive traits, people doom themselves to a long search, forgetting that no one is perfect. It is very rare that all the qualities you want in your partner match.
Read also: How to build a relationship with a man?
Men are complex creatures, not always understandable, and sometimes even uncomfortable, but sooner or later (almost) every woman has to ask herself this question -.
In most cases, you will find that there are some shortcomings and you need to talk about them with him. Who knows, maybe the situation can be improved. If not, then maybe not everything is so critical? Maybe a person with some shortcomings can be completely covered by other positive qualities? Before declaring your inability to communicate with people, it is worth thinking about whether they even had such a chance?
Demands are too high
The second half of the future should not be older than 30 years. Get a higher education, have your own apartment with a sea view and transfer to an expensive foreign car? Can”t build relationships because the right people who meet the high standards you want simply don”t exist at the applicant level?
When presenting high standards to potential partners, it is worth thinking about the other side of the issue. What can the applicant”s side give? Is there anything like this? Next, you need to soften or fulfill the list of requirements.
Negative traces from past relationships
Past relationships can leave behind a lot of negativity and interfere with building new ones. No one wants to get involved with a person who only focuses on the negative. In order to build a good relationship, it is better to think and reflect together with the other partner about everything that happened in the past.
There may be unresolved situations that need to be resolved. Only there can you count on a happy future.
Low level of self-esteem
I can”t build a relationship with a man
Fear of relationships in general
Many people are afraid to build relationships because they do not want to lose their freedom and the opportunity to miss out on something truly valuable. However, it is impossible to live waiting forever and wanting to meet a prince/princess. Perhaps it is the fear of entering into a relationship that prevents them from building one.
Inability to be yourself
Don”t put yourself in the position of victim in any relationship. It is important to understand that their inability to be present in the relationship puts them in the crosshairs in the first place. It cannot be implemented for a long time. And even if this is so, why? This won”t make anyone happy.
It”s better to believe that there are people in the world who will like the real side of you. Such relationships can gain a strong and long-term status.
Repeating past mistakes
Transferring mistakes made in the present to past relationships is very reasonable and not stupid. After all, this had already happened due to the couple”s separation. So why repeat the same things with others? It is unlikely that a different outcome will occur. It is impossible to build a relationship without eliminating mistakes.
It”s hard to trust new people
And this is the most common reason for failed relationships. It is difficult to open up to someone for fear that they might be offended. But you can”t build a good relationship without taking risks. Maybe it”s worth it? It”s better to bathe in the fountain of love and lose people than to experience anything else.
No matter how painful it may be, it”s worth it. And who said that everything always ends this way? There are happy endings. The main thing is to believe.
