Why do you want a lover and why are you doing it?
A front of love is more than just a cover. While you”re trying to win one heart, you”ll experience many losses and disappointments. Relationships are often hard-won, and then the couple has to make a huge effort to stay together. However, not everyone does this for one reason or another.
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Men gradually lose their former passion, and women consider themselves more worthy. At the same time, no woman can explain when this feeling arises. When the time comes to understand: I want my lover to be desirable again.
In fact, there are many reasons why women choose this difficult path. Whether they are justified or not is not for us to judge. However, they all have a right to exist. Below, we”ll look at the reasons why women seek another partner and the factors that influence the appearance of a third wheel.
Why do you want a lover?
In today”s world, having a girlfriend is normal. Many women share their experiences of being in relationships with multiple men at the same time and benefiting from it. However, it”s unlikely that anyone would take this for granted. After all, all adults and educated people know that if you confess your feelings to someone, even a married one, you can”t betray your commitment. Or, at worst, you”ll have to admit to your partner that you no longer have feelings. This is fair not only to her, but also to yourself.
It”s not that women cheat much more often than men. Everyone is equally guilty of it. However, the reasons for this are completely different. While men are primarily looking for casual sex, women are trying to regain the feeling of being truly desirable.
They want to believe that other men still love them and that they can accomplish and conquer real feats for themselves. In this case, emotion is the key element. However, it doesn”t necessarily have to be deep. Simple attraction, warmth, and sometimes a touch of affection are all that”s missing from long-term relationships and marriage.
There”s another category of women who love to collect men and are aroused by the fear of being discovered. Is this a perversion? It”s not obvious, but it”s not common either. These women don”t need declarations of love or timid romance. In their unholy passion, they are ready to burn and blaze.
What”s even more interesting is that they may truly love their long-term partners, but they can”t do anything about their own desires.
Reasons why you want one
Almost every girl”s favorite pastime is comparing herself to others. Or vice versa. If your daughter is in a relationship, she”ll try to figure out what her ex-boyfriend was like. If they”ve improved, then how? They keep a score deep down, and if it doesn”t work out in their favor, it”s time for revenge.
This is one of the reasons many delegates want a boyfriend. They simply operate from their own mental scenario that the guy has already dumped them and returned to a more idealistic former passion. It doesn”t matter as long as there are no prerequisites. She makes it all up, gets offended, and takes revenge.
Revenge in the arms of a stranger is one of the most unpleasant things one can experience. A man painfully perceives the fact that his only love has run away. It hurts their pride. And this is exactly what some women seek when their current partner may be equally offended or unfaithful. For many women, cheating isn”t a walk on the beach.
They can plan everything down to the smallest detail. Choose a future lover, calculate the date of intimacy, and how they will separate. There”s a saying: there is no worse creature than a wronged woman. This is because a vengeful woman can take a lover and turn her life upside down.
The third reason is the desire for harmony between body and mind. For example, a woman has a quiet, inconspicuous husband. He loves her, helps her, and provides for her, but she feels no attraction to him and doesn”t know what to say. Then a brilliant idea strikes her: they become partners in body and soul.
So she can have a nice chat with him and be delighted. Then she returns home to her husband in a good mood. The most common reason women decide to take this step is dissatisfaction with their current relationship. They may unconsciously leave their current partner without fear of the consequences.
Marriage is quite a complex undertaking. And the longer it lasts, the less room there is for passion and tenderness. If everything is replaced according to custom and there are no financial problems, such marriages can last a long time.
Read also: Why a girl doesn”t want sex: what are the reasons and what to do?
Why a girl doesn”t want intimacy is an important question for you. However, it is useless to ask her, and you will not get an answer, because she is simple and even.
But if there are problems with money, if there is no understanding of their future, if one partner works like hell and the other sits and does nothing, many people have a desire to escape. Often girls, out of boredom, find a lover who reminds them of their true kindness. She escapes from her boring marriage into a colorful world where she is loved, wanted and showered with gifts.
These are the main reasons why women seek comfort in other men. Next, we’ll look at the main pros and cons of having a lover and put together a question that every girl should ask herself as soon as she decides — I want a lover.
The joys and disadvantages of cheating
If you ask him, everyone will immediately answer that betrayal is wrong. We cannot find a mistake in this answer, since morality teaches us to be honest, and conscience teaches us not to do stupid things. But even in this case, betrayals often occur, which only benefit the marriage. It also happens that forgiving yourself a little more is not a problem. If problems have accumulated in your life, do not rush to get upset. You probably have an easy way out of the situation.
- You have long forgotten that the last time you and your husband had a normal rest and had full sex. At the same time, your spouse himself feels well and has no complaints. You want to temporarily experience old feelings, plunge into the exciting atmosphere of first dates and intimacy. In this case, it is useful to have a partner on hand who will agree to play your “best” role. It is believed that such regular sex will only strengthen the marriage, because the woman will throw off all the negativity outside the home and her husband and return completely new.
- You want to maintain communication with your current partner, but you lack intimacy with them. Lack of sex is the most pressing reason for infidelity. After all, the desire for intimacy is a physiological need, just like food or sleep. The less satisfied you are, the more consequences you”ll see. Women are sensitive and irritable. This can manifest itself at various times. That is, tears without triggering petty anger, indifference, or depression. A good lover, in this case, is like a drug that shouldn”t be distributed. It helps restore self-control and control over the situation.
- This point is the opposite of the previous point. If the husband is a cracker with crackers, if the sex is great, but ideal for communication, then a woman can find a quiet lover. And often not even for sex, but for simple communication and flirting. After all, winning a woman over should last a lifetime, and if for some reason her husband thinks this fortress has already surrendered without a fight, he”s sorely mistaken. Never tell your significant other that no one will want her, because every woman has a beau.
Of course, every girl has her own reasons for uttering those difficult words, “I want a lover.” And it always seems most true and correct when it”s related to some result or lack thereof. But there”s always a downside, even in the most legitimate situations.
The first downside of a lover is a complete lack of control. He”s not your doll or toy. A lover can easily ruin your game and simply surrender to his persistent partner. Then the fun ends, and a dull routine begins. It”s worth remembering to be cautious when secretly communicating with temperamental and passionate guys, because you don”t want to become the “pawn” they were.
The second risk is the possibility of falling in love with your boyfriend, especially if he”s not available himself. You might start this secret relationship to stroke your pride, relax, and forget about family problems, but in the end, you”ll suffer even more. It”s great if your lover is single and understands you. But if he”s married and has no intention of breaking up with his wife, you have no chance of a positive outcome. In most cases, a man”s mistress is simply a way to forget the pain of being discovered.
The third risk is regret. No matter how simple everything is, no matter how calmly you treat everything, your conscience never sleeps.
And especially if your spouse is a perfect example, she will definitely not let you sleep peacefully. Betraying a truly faithful and loving comrade is at the very least stupid, and at the very least vile. You must fully realize that you will never find such a partner and will not receive his forgiveness when everything is known. Therefore, it’s better to think again — are you really tired of bumping into someone else’s bed?
Life questions
If the thought of cheating on your husband keeps you day and night, perhaps you should sit down and think it through. First of all, ask yourself the main question — why do you want to find another partner? Is it all about poor communication or is your sex life not pleasing with its colors?
Reason plays an important role here because the solution to any problem is somewhere nearby. If you have a problem with bed play, there”s a good chance you”ll try to solve it without outside help. Talk to your spouse, discuss the charges, and find a way forward together. The situation is exactly the same if there is a lack of spiritual communication. Talk, talk, share!
The second question is whether you are satisfied with your lover. You may have misunderstood your needs. Sometimes it may seem that only a handsome man next to you can solve all your problems, but betrayal only makes the situation worse. You shouldn’t rush off the handle and jump into bed with the first person you meet. Perhaps what you need is not a lover, but a holiday.
The third question is whether my desire has anything to do with the feeling of resentment. Resentment and revenge are not the best reasons for having a lover. Because in this case you will not get pleasure, but will only start to get angry with yourself. If you want to change just because you can”t forgive your husband, I advise you to leave your spouse. After all, you will never be able to accept that he was with someone else, and you will always remain a deep victim. Let him go and give yourself the opportunity to love again without secret meetings and deception behind your back. It will be better not only for you, but also for him.
Lying to someone you love is not the best thing to do. Few people usually feel better after this and therefore look for ways to improve the situation. If you don”t want to fall victim to your own delusion, the next time you think you want a lover, analyze it, or better yet, throw it away.
After all, no one deserves to be betrayed. Also, if you don”t feel affection or emotion towards your partner, discuss this issue with him. Maybe he”s just not your type.
