Why love faded away: chemistry and feelings
Researchers claim that all our experiences are subject to biological laws. In the same way, our tender emotions are just a game of hormones created by nature itself. But is this really so? And do ex-partners answer the question of why their love was wasted?
Contents of the article:
Love as a genetic program
The characteristic behavior of lovers has been formed over millions of years. The fact is that our distant ancestors did not have time for romance. The main goal of married couples was the birth of offspring. This is what united men and women. By pairing up, they can protect their offspring, obtain food and protect themselves from predators.
In the process of evolution, nature began to help people find a common language. Thus, a whole system of chemical reactions arose that caused love. Thanks to this condition, men and women were able to look at each other in a new way. They experienced mutual admiration and attraction. However, after three years, this program began to exhaust itself.
Insidious hormones
A person”s love is controlled by his brain. He does everything to preserve the human genome. People have an obligation to continue the race, and reason helps us achieve this in the best possible way.
Helen Fisher in the USA spent 30 years studying the nature of love and exploring all its low tolerances. Each of them has increased hormonal levels. Androgens and estrogens are responsible for the feeling of love, oxytocin and vasopressin for affection, dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin for a stable connection.
Doomed or genuine?
Deep studies of the human brain at the moment of falling in love have helped scientists answer the question of why love is wasted. This happens when hormones stop stimulating people”s emotional dependence on each other. As a rule, this happens after three years.
Sometimes it comes as a complete surprise. The partners suddenly open their eyes. They look at each other without embellishment, and a crisis ensues in their relationship. This is the moment when it becomes clear whether people are together or not. And most importantly, are they happy at the same time? Some experts believe that true love begins with this feeling.
Read also: “In the shock of tender feelings” or how to distinguish love from infatuation?
People experience many emotions in their lives. Emotional relationships shape emotions. However, there are certain combinations of emotions that.
Hormonal addiction
She”s like a drug. People begin to wonder why love comes in vain, and begin to seek pleasure simply from the happiness of love. The algorithm of actions is simple. It develops in the same way as drug addiction. Each time a person looks for a new object of adoration and experiences the same feelings over and over again. This is how he comes to success in our business — to joy.
Such people can understand. Lovers are always in high spirits. They don”t sleep, they don”t want to eat. This condition leads to rapid addiction. Men and women strive with all their might to return to him. However, the “love drug” quickly gets boring. Physical attraction, not supported by emotions, passes instantly.
More than chemistry
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But this is not enough to unravel the nature of mutual attraction. The power of genetics is great, but personal and social experience is also important. All these factors act together, and it is impossible to understand which one predominates.
Perhaps knowledge about the influence of hormones on the body will help us cope with our own emotions and understand what is happening to us. However, this does not negate our personal responsibility for what is happening.
Crisis of three years
Love lasts 3 years” — French writer Frederic Befeder is guilty of creating this myth. This idea has become incredibly popular. However, biologists and psychologists are categorically against it. They believe that it gives love to the grieving Fleur. In addition, people begin to lose their sense of reality. The inevitable consequences seem to follow the weakening of attraction, and they stop working on their feelings. The writer himself admits that he is disappointed in his personal relationships, which worries him a little: “I don”t “I’m sure I’ve never been in a relationship with a woman before,” he says. Therefore, one should not follow popular but fundamentally incorrect stereotypes.
In conclusion
A curious journalist repeatedly asked Helen Fisher what she thought about love after all the insidious things she had learned. She is very witty, they say, and they say that the dessert does not become worse because its components become known to you. On the contrary, you will be able to appreciate and feel all the shades of taste of the sacred delicacy beige. So it is in our case.
Why is love wasted? Because the level of hormones in the blood has decreased. But this does not mean that your lover has changed much. Look at him with different eyes. You may not yet realize how important this is to you, but there is an exciting story ahead of you.
