5 Ways to Change Your Mindset for Strong Orgasms
They say that orgasm starts from the head. Well, in that case, it”s time to finally clean up the house.
Contents of the article:
What prevents you from experiencing a strong orgasm?
The ability to experience orgasm (including strong orgasm) is influenced by a number of psychological factors. Namely:
Anxiety is familiar to everyone, and it is no exaggeration to say that many people face this problem almost every day. However, it is important to understand that there are different levels of anxiety and that everyone”s sensitivity is different. For some of us, constant worry can become an unbearable burden that negatively affects all areas of our lives, including sex.
“Anxiety is caused by a lot of unwanted thoughts that distract from the feeling of arousal. This problem causes many people to turn to sex therapists — clients are so afraid of not being at their best in bed that they cannot get aroused,” says psychologist and sex therapist Stephanie Buehler.
Both men and women face this. Men are often afraid of erection problems, premature ejaculation and possible dissatisfaction with their partner. And women often worry about appearance, moaning and other “feedback” factors. Next thoughts. Maybe you need to moan louder? Do I look good in this pose?
- Inflated (unrealistic) expectations
This applies to everything — foreplay, sex, orgasm and its strength. It is films and pornography that create these high expectations. And this applies both to the first sex in life and to all subsequent sexual contacts.
Some women feel like they are experiencing some kind of “wrong” orgasm. This is because they are overly focused on the belief that a “real” orgasm must be crazy, or at least faint. What happens at the end?
According to sexologists, some women are not aware of their orgasms. All because of these unrealistic expectations and obsession with the “end point”. They simply don’t have time to focus on their feelings and miss out on all the fun!
- Problems with self-esteem up to dysmorphia
Body dysmorphic disorder is a mental disorder in which focusing on one”s physical flaws (often the flaws themselves don”t exist) becomes an obsession.
This problem cannot be solved with a few compliments or going to the gym — it is much deeper. The disfiguring disorder can literally ruin a person”s life, and even orgasm is out of the question. Because of dysmorphia, people become very shy and there is no arousal,” explains Bühler.
Clinical psychologist and sex coach Lawrence Siegel adds that. People wonder if they are pleasing their partners enough. They feel self-conscious about their bodies being in certain positions. Pornography is one of the biggest misconceptions about how people look, feel and react during sex. A lot of it is fake.”
Read also: 18 Ways Orgasm Can Change Your Life
Scientists have supplemented the traditional idea that orgasm is the highest pleasure with interesting and useful facts. It turns out that not everything is so simple.
Post-traumatic stress disorder is a severe anxiety disorder that causes a fight-or-flight response in people who experience or witness a traumatic event. This may include sexual assault.
Sex therapist Sandra Lindholm says: “Psychological trauma of any kind can cause problems with arousal and orgasm. Even if the traumatic event happened many years ago, the consequences can continue to haunt the person. Professionals can help people overcome serious traumas.
- Depression and antidepressants
Depression can, of course, contribute to low libido, but Buhler says it doesn”t happen all that often. The use of antidepressants plays an important role here.
Almost all antidepressants, with the exception of Wellbutrin, can cause problems achieving orgasm. If this happens, you should consult a doctor,” Buehler advises. She also recommends that patients with this problem spend more time on foreplay and try adult toys.
How to Change Your Mindset for Strong Orgasms
We have identified the reasons that may be preventing them from having a strong orgasm and enjoying sex. In some cases, it is worth contacting a psychologist. And the sooner the better. Also see the following tips.
How to change your thinking
Couples who can laugh during sex feel more comfortable alone with each other. Family psychologist Laurie Schade confirms this.
When you feel secure with your partner, you are liberated, more daring and ready to experiment sexually. You feel relaxed, calmer, and more likely to reach orgasm.
- Try meditation
It seems that literally every second person now practices meditation in the morning, evening and even during their lunch break at work. Some people praise this relaxation method, while others are skeptical about it. However, no matter what anyone says, meditation still works.
Many people are intimidated by the “complexity” of meditation practice, they say, and are forced to rely on dawn rays, incense and higher levels of mindfulness. If you can”t get the thoughts out of your head the first time, you”re completely hopeless. Not true.
Your task is to sit in a comfortable position and focus on your breathing and emotions. And never berate yourself for your “lack of awareness” or thoughts about primitive worldly problems that creep into your head.
- Deep breathing and relaxation
When it comes to sex, don”t underestimate the importance of deep breathing. It may seem simple and obvious, but most people don”t know how to breathe properly during sex, says sex expert Kim Anami.
It”s normal—many people unknowingly hold their breath during sex. Try the simple breathing exercises Kim recommends. Start with foreplay and work your way from beginning to end. As you take a deep breath, imagine the energy moving from your heart to your partner”s heart. Do the same if you like it. Pay special attention to your approach to orgasm and your breathing during it.
- Enjoy what”s happening
This point is probably the most difficult for many. Its implementation requires, at a minimum, the study of complexes that prevent relaxation. However, once “sexual enlightenment” is achieved, the potential for strong and vibrant orgasms increases many times over.
Many researchers are skeptical about the topic of aphrodisiacs, but why not try it? Nobody forbids the use of fragrances in the bedroom. Scented candles, massage oil, music — why not feel like a movie hero? By the way, you can also grab cream with fruit.
