7 important things to know if your partner is asexual
In addition to heterosexual and homosexual orientations, there are about two dozen others. A recent study by scientists showed that about 1% of people on the planet consider themselves asexual. How do they differ from heterosexuals and homosexuals, and do asexuals feel closer to each other?
Contents of the article:
Who are asexuals
An asexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction. However, this definition alone cannot characterize these people. There are many subtleties in this issue. The term first appeared in the news in the 1990s and was not due to scientists.
Fifteen-year-old Mike Doe, who somehow realized that no one was sexually attracted to him, quickly gained public attention when he identified himself as asexual. The young man was supported not only by LGBT representatives, but also by other people.
At the same time, the term “asexual” itself had no scientific basis for a long time. However, in the early 2000s, Ethnoni Borgardt introduced his scientific research to the world. Of the nearly 20, 000 Britons surveyed, 200 were found to be asexual.
Society is extremely intolerant of people who are different from the majority. Many people consider asexuality to be synonymous with impotence and insensitivity. Asexuals are constantly criticized and negatively described as mentally retarded or living in exaggerated fantasy worlds.
Asexuality is characterized by the fact that a person has the physical ability to have sex, but has no interest in it. At the same time, such people build relationships without problems, but only with those who can understand their idiosyncrasies and not judge them.
7 important things about asexuals
Understanding this makes them more tolerant of each other. To understand how to behave with asexuals, you need to understand some of the characteristics of such people.
- They didn”t choose this
Unlike people who choose not to have sex, asexuals have not made that choice. They simply do not know how to experience sexual desire, but many believe that asexuals themselves suppress or resist it out of ignorance. It simply doesn”t exist. But at the same time, such people can experience many other forms of attraction, including aesthetic, romantic, platonic and emotional. Asexuality is not a person”s choice, but a sexual orientation independent of desire or physiology.
- Asexuality has nothing to do with you
People who encounter asexuals for the first time refuse to believe that such people exist. Others believe that a person deliberately refuses intimacy with a new partner because he simply does not like him. In such situations, the partner begins to distrust the asexual and suspects that he is deliberately confusing his tracks. People may also take their partner”s asexuality personally and associate it with a lack of attraction or sexuality.
Read also: 6 things to know about a curved penis before sex
A curved penis is completely normal. However, even a slight curvature of the penis can shock some people and make them want to.
When starting a relationship with an asexual, immediately explain to yourself that it is not your fault, but the nature of a person who is not rounded by the sexual attraction of his partner.
- Asexuality has a spectrum
Not all asexuals completely reject intimate life. This orientation has its own gradations: antisexual, demisexual, gray asexual and aromantic.
Anti-offenders completely reject intimate relationships and encourage everyone to avoid them. They consider the lack of sexual desire to be the only norm in society.
Sexuals can enter into intimate relationships, but not with everyone, and only after a strong romantic relationship.
Gray asculi, they are to some extent similar to dexuses, but in the formation of sexual communication, random will plays a role, and not spiritual unity. It is not always possible to explain to such people why they are attractive. In addition, it may disappear or appear in one partner and not appear in the other.
7 things asexuals wish you knew
Sex does not always mean the culmination of intimate desire. Asexuals can have sex to satisfy physical needs: relief from headaches, stress relief, emotional release after a hard day at work, procreation — to satisfy the needs of a partner. Asexuals don”t think sex is always disgusting and unacceptable because they are trying to get closer to their lover.
- Relationships can be fulfilling without sex
Modern society is focused on sex. If a person hears that there is no intimacy in a couple, he will give a negative assessment of this relationship. However, it would be wrong to forget that there is quite a wide spectrum of relationships, and it is not limited to sex.
It is believed that asexuality can completely change views on relationships and their value. Society has tried to elevate sex to the rank of a fetish and replace it with a whole range of relationships between partners.
Mutual understanding and friendship are less important to people than intimacy. At the same time, relationships based solely on gender have little future; they end before they even begin. And connections based on common interests, mutual understanding and sincere intimacy have much more grounds for continuity.
This opinion is shared by many. Some believe that this is enough to lift a person’s mood or solve some problem, others believe in the immediate appearance of sexual desire. In asexuals, the desire for intimacy is not completely or significantly reduced and does not depend on the person’s mood or well-being.
Asexuals also do not feel unhappy due to their lack of sexuality. They have no such need. Therefore, they do not suppress their internal needs. If you meet an asexual, do not transfer his traits to his mood and do not blame yourself for it.
- Communication is very important and necessary
Communication is an important part of any relationship. Without communication, this idea is doomed to fail if you create a strong emotional connection without sex. Pay attention to your loved one. Discuss your relationship and be sure to talk to him. An open conversation will allow you to get to know each other better, share your desires and establish mutual understanding.
Asexuality is not a pathology; it opens your eyes and helps you move away from fixation on sex. It”s time to stop celebrating relationships based solely on intimacy.
If people can transfer some of their feelings into developing friendships, building relationships with colleagues, and studying people in similar relationships, they can break free from social stereotypes. This is the only way to rethink the problem of lonely people — and their number is growing every year.
