9 unexpected facts about the sexual fantasies of men and women
We hear a lot about the philosophy and psychology of relationships, and I am a psychotherapist and sexologist. We hear about theories that have a weak evidence base and mislead hundreds of men and women. This article contains nine true facts about sexual fantasies about sex and how they break down stereotypes and misconceptions about intimacy.
Contents of the article:
- Facts about sexual fantasies
- Both sexes are most likely to fantasize about their current partner
- The most common sexual fantasy is a threesome
- The Most Disappointing Threesome Fantasy
- Most often, people fantasize and change their appearance
- Men fantasize more often
- Men”s fantasies are more detailed
- Women are more likely to fantasize about rough sex
- Women”s fantasies take on a more romantic tone
- People rarely make their fantasies come true
- Meanings of sexual fantasies — women vs men!
Facts about sexual fantasies
Both sexes are most likely to fantasize about their current partner
An ideal intimate life is a dream and even a goal for some. When both partners are working on their relationship as a couple, their fantasies are directed exclusively at each other.
They don”t always share their ideas, but they never change mentally. This distinguishes such couples from unions in which both partners protect only their own interests.
The most common sexual fantasy is a threesome
According to world statistics, about 89% of partners in dreams about three sexual relationships are partners. Let us clarify one detail — in some dreams about such sex there is only one partner. Sexologists believe that fantasies about group sex are always a manifestation of the desire to be the center of attention and to be appreciated. And in most cases, during sex with one partner, such people show themselves to be dominant, demonstrate brute strength and practice hard sex.
The Most Disappointing Threesome Fantasy
One partner in life will never admit that his main dream is a threesome. When the other partner or partners find out about such a fantasy, doubts and disappointments begin to overcome him.
It seems to him that he no longer evokes sexual admiration and desire from his other half. However, the proposal is not always the three of us — it is betrayal or dissatisfaction with the current situation.
In some cases, partners are guided by physiological interests. Indeed, in this life I am ready to try everything and a lot. In other cases, it is worth talking about sincere sympathy for another person. However, there is no need to sound the alarm in advance. Perhaps this compassion is the same physiological interest.
Most often, people fantasize and change their appearance.
Women”s imagination — transformation into a sexy, deadly beauty. A man”s fantasy is to become a sex stripe for many women. However, the external data of a dream does not always correspond to the plan. As a result, men and women often begin to change themselves. They change their hairstyle, gait, appearance, voice and clothing style. They believe that in this way they become closer to their ideals. However, such transformations are not always successful. Changing your appearance does not mean changing your thinking.
Read also: 8 Facts We”re Wrong About Men”s Sex Lives
Recent trends show that people are talking more and more openly about sex. The desire of men and women to better know each other, their inner selves.
Men fantasize more often
Men are less shy than women. They may sit in their sleep at work. At the same time, judging by his face, you understand absolutely nothing. The woman blushes for a long time, widens her eyes, lowers her head and nervously fiddles with her fingers.
According to a 2020 US study, women think about sex only 10 times a day. The index for men is 19 thoughts. However, these data are conditional. Considering the fact that no one wants to look like a sex unit, the figures given may differ slightly from reality.
Men”s fantasies are more detailed
It”s easy for a man to talk about sex. He does not hesitate to openly express his desires. The situation is similar with fantasy. A man knows exactly what and where he wants. He easily imagines how a woman will lovingly care for him, how she will turn her hand and with what force she will squeeze it.
In 2014, a survey was conducted in the United States, which found that men often fantasize about deep fellatio and group sex. Now you can imagine how detailed the desired action can be. Years of training, give or take.
Women are more likely to fantasize about rough sex
Viewing statistics on the PornHub platform show a high percentage of the categories of promiscuity, hardcore, hardcore sex, group sex and BDSM. Who do you think chooses these categories more often? Of course, women. But why?
It”s all about natural interests. Women are attracted to the “forbidden fruit”. Sex with BDSM elements surprises with its novelty, unusual attributes and unknown sensations. Hardcore sex scenes stimulate fast and intense arousal. And the slaps, moans and “slurping” sounds will completely take over you. Do you want to start dreaming?
But what about hardcore? This category is for women who are used to dominating in everyday life and want to get everything they can from sex. Their norms are deep penetration, strong and painful hugs, quick sex and dirty talk. Often it is this form of discharge that allows women to experience real pleasure. It soon becomes clear that strong-willed women dream of strong, dominant men for sex.
Women”s fantasies take on a more romantic tone
Women often fantasize while watching romantic films and during romantic dates. Additionally, there is a romantic connotation regarding where they want to have sex. In terms of content, special attention in women”s sexual fantasies is paid to touch, sensations of partners, their physical and emotional reactions to what is happening and the general atmosphere of sexual contact.
People rarely make their fantasies come true
Despite the variety of sexual fantasies, only a small part of couples realize them.
When it comes to the psychology of family relationships, it is worth noting that the leading role in a boring intimate life belongs to restraint. The fear of being called stupid, sexually deviant and inappropriate drives partners.
Leading US sexologists suggest that the root of evil lies in incorrect sex education. Children whose parents shout loudly about the need for contraception and sternly warn that they will “kill you if you get pregnant” often grow up sexually limited.
Unfortunately, childhood trauma has bad characteristics. Even experienced professionals are not always able to correct the thinking and return positivity to such people.
